How can I motivate my 18yr old son to get a job..he had a good one.?

Question

But he followed me to a new town and now doesn't seem to want to move ahead at all, just snaps and snarls and expects a hand out all the time.

Answer 1

tough love doesnt work on teenagers...don't nag him or bother him about it...if u do he will rebel...thats what 18 year olds do...treat him like an adult an let him make his own decisions...as long as u dont give him spending money...or pay his bills..eventually he will have no choice but to go earn some money...besides...wouldnt u rather see him in college instead of working?

Answer 2

Tell him to get a job, start paying rent, or hit the road.. My friend and I were talking tonight about this exact situation.. His girlfriend has a son, same age that sits at home and does nothing.. No job, no rent etc,, I had a job since I was 12 years old and at most times 2, ther was one point where I was working 3 jobs. I never received welfare or an unemployment check.. The only work I missed was for vacation. I worked when I was sick and took sick days to spend with my kids. I only took one week of vacation a year. When I was young and still at home I cut the grass every week, took out the garbage, cleaned my room and anything else my father asked. My father or mother also never picked up a snow shovel in the winter.. I know we want to make thing a bit easier on our kids today but in the long run we are only hurting them.. Good Luck

Answer 3

I think you answered your own question. Do you give him handouts all the time? Obviously, if you give him money for this and that he won't see a need to work. Maybe for starters you can begin in baby steps. For $10, I need you to mow the lawn,, $5 clean the living room. And tell him if he wants to see a movie with friends he will have to use his work money to pay for it because otherwise you are not giving handouts.
An even more effective plan (wild idea) is have hihim do volunteer work for a while where he is working for the poor and then he can see what is life like if you have no money - toughlove.
Growing up when I was visiting family in Guatemala, I saw so many poor people begging, eating scraps off the streets and from that point forward I promised myself I'd work hard to earn good money so I have a good life.
I think the key is teach indirectly that working hard is an honorable way to get ahead in life not take advantage of others.

Answer 4

Well Mom....you gotta ask yourself...how did he get into the house?

I've seen it time and time again....in fact...I'm talking to a lady right now that has not an 18 year old....but a 29 year old son who says that he cant go and get a job now cause its to hot outside!! Six months ago...he couldn't get a job because it was too cold!

But...He's your baby boy right??? You cant just throw him out on the street can you???

Yes you can! If he's 18 then he is an adult and you can have him legally removed from your home. Give him an ultimatum...either get a job and start contributing....or get out.

Remember....the training he gets now will determine what kind of man he will make for some unsuspecting girlfriend.

Answer 5

When I was 18 my folks gave me two options if I wanted to live in thier home pay rent and buy my own groceries, or work 40 hours of chores around the house for no money just room and board. Because of my folks tough love I now at 27 years old own 3 homes and have a successful business. It never would have happened if my parent gave me hand outs. You can give hand ups. My parents would say we'll buy you a suit to interview in and if you get the job we'll buy your outfits but you have to pay us back. Heck my parents logged every penny into a spread sheet and made print outs for me. I thought they were being mean but now I know I was being truely loved!!!

Answer 6

I followed my mom to the northwest after not talking to her for many years, and after living with her for 2 years have finally found a job that seems satisfying. It's been tough, and we've been through some issues that have taxed our relationship, but we do still appreciate and love each other. My father would never have allowed me to live with him for 1 month in this situation. My mother lives on 2 acres of land that my step-father cannot maintain (because of health issues). So I've spent the last two years improving their land by clearing it of scotch broom and black berry vines and keeping it trimmed during that time. I've also helped build three storage buildings, created a large bricked bonfire area with sturdy seating areas and concrete slabs for both a gazebo and cooking area, and stayed out of the way for my mother and stepfather to have their own imaginative ideas about what to do with their new found yard.

Your son wants to live with you? He has to make some contribution. Really. Or get out on his own. There really is no other way for you to be the kind of mother you'd really like to be. THEN you'll see the results of your efforts.

Answer 7

This is hard. My 18 year old brother has never had a job, sleeps till noon everyday and barely knows what college he's going to. I hink that you should stop giving him money for things and stop buying him stuff. He needs to realize that he needs money for things that he wants and you cant provide for him financially his whole life, so he needs to start now. He needs to realize one day hes going to have a family that hes going to have to provide for as well. Maybe make suggestions to him, like if he likes golf, tell him, "Hey, you should apply to the country club. Youll get a discount on golfing and supplies." If he likes clothes, cars, etc. A good incentive to work is those discounts you get. I remember being 16 and spending my paychecks on clothes because I got a discount. Well, good luck!

Answer 8

Kick him out of the house for 2 days and tell him he can't come back until he gets a job or you want kick him out if he will go find a job in 48 hours.

Answer 9

Work or find a new home OR work and find a new home. Your providing time is over. If you keep giving it to him you are an enabler! A parent's true love shows when they say no to a toddler trying to get a glass vase, no to a teen who wants to stay out all night and when they have to make the kid to provide for themself and this is it!!

Answer 10

You have to set deadlines and FOLLOW THEM! Don't make threats, make action. It's tough but he'll get a job once he sees you're serious about him getting a job. If you're giving him allowance or anything, stop. Also, make it apparent to him that unemployed people are losers. Because they are. My mom used to say "I'm not gonna have a bum living in my house" That made me go out and get a job.

Answer 11

Tell him that life dosn't give handouts. Tell him he has so many days to get a job or you will not help him anymore. It may seem harsh, but tough love is the only way to set him straight.