Can somebody please give me some good advice?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. Im now seven months pregnant and he has been acting a little weird. I dont know if it is because of my mood swings im having or what. Lately when he leaves my house to go home he was been looking really sad. My mama has been putting him down and stressing me and him out really bad about our situation. She mainly just says things towards him but the things she says effect me too. She keeps saying that my boyfriend is not going to stay around and that he is really lazy. She thinks that he doesnt want a job, but he has been applying everywhere. Even though i told her that he has an interview tomorrow, she still had something smart to say. It also feels like she is trying to take over and not give me and my boyfriend a try. I just wish somebody would have faith in us. Im a teen mom and im really scared as stressed about everything. What should i do? (P.S if you are going to reply with smart comments, dont say anything at all)

Answer 1

Regardless of whether your mom has faith in you and your boyfriend or not, have faith in yourself and in him and your abilities together to build a family, it really doesnt matter what others think. You should have a serious, honest talk with your mother and explain to her how her comments are making you feel, that it is putting a strain on your relationship and that you need her support and encouragment right now. Your boyfriend is probably feeling an intense amount of pressure. Maybe you should also try to talk to your boyfriend about his feelings too. Communciate as much as possible, with everyone involved and let them all know that while they may be stressed, can they try imagining how stressful this is for you and have some compassion for you? I wish you all the best, and if you can, try to relax, and if you believe in God, pray,(heck, pray even if you dont, He still hears you and will help if you allow Him to). It's not easy to be a parent, especially I would imagine when you are very young, but is rewarding in countless ways. Hang in there.

Answer 2

Your MOM is also stressed out over the situation! She is probably trying to motivate your boyfriend into action. She should sit down and TALK to him in a more loving way. You are all facing a hard job, and you are all frightened as to what comes next. It is hard enough to have a baby when things are all going the right way. He is scared and needs some support. If Mom won't give it to him, then you will need to do some reassuring. He has to know that this child needs a daddy, as well as a mommy. Make him part of everything that is happening during the pregnancy. Talk to the doctor and ask him to include your babies father in all the important decisions that need to be made. The more that he feels like he is important, the better he will feel about this. Talk about such things as what the baby will look like, tell him that you hope the child will look like him. Tell him how much you love him and need him. Talk to your mother too, and tell her that you need her to be supportive. She is only afraid that you may be left alone and the the baby will suffer the loss of his/her father. Try to understand her feelings, and make her understand yours too!. I am afraid that it is YOU who will have to bring this all together now, before it is too late. I will pray for you and your family tonight. I hope you have a beautiful and healthy baby, and that you will have the happiness that you need now. Love is what is needed here, and it will bring you all together. Remember, YOU ARE your mothers' baby, and she wants what is best for you. You will learn this after you have your baby. The bond is very strong.

Answer 3

It sounds like she's worried about you and expressing herself negatively towards your boyfriend. I think that if I had a pregnant teenage daughter and her boyfriend wasn't working, even if he was applying all over the place, I'd be worried too, and even likely to put him down. She probably feels that if he doesn't come through and support you and the baby, then the burden is going to be on her. Just applying for jobs is not enough, he has to go back and check on them if he's really serious about working.
I hope he knows that this is going to affect the rest of his life. I know you know that about you too. Even if you two don't stay together, just make sure he does his part and helps out financially with the baby.
Give Mom a break. She's really stressed over this too, I can tell. Don't fight her every time she says something negative. She's just venting. But it would help if she could think of something positive to say about the situation. Hopefully your boyfriend will get a job soon and stick with it and help you out and that will make your mom come around. Just so that she knows it's not all on her. Good luck to you and have a great baby.

Answer 4

any Mom wouldn't be too happy with a preg kid and a little boy who won't work. If you are old enough to be screwing around with boys, then get out of the house and support yourself. There is welfare and food stamps for poor bums and you can get a shack somewhere. YOu made your bed. What did you think would happen...he would magically marry you and swoop you up to a castle and take care of you forever??? Now you have ruined your chances at having a good life. YOu will always be poor and chances are, your boyfriend will be out screwing other little girls before too long. ps. Burger King is always hiring. If he works at Bk during the day and delivers pizza at night and you work at McDonalds and babysit, you will have enough money to buy diapers and formula and a few groceries. YOu will never be able to afford a nice place, but look at some of the places where the drug people live. YOu can get a rundown apt for cheap or be a maid for someone and live in their garage. YOu've got a hard life ahead. Now maybe you wish you had kept your legs together and not let a little boy use you!

Answer 5

I was a teen mom, and now that i'm older I can see how a mom can be over protective of her daughter in such a situation. You need to not worry so much. I know that is easier said than done, but they should both be supporting you and you are trying to make everyone happy. In your mom's eyes you and your boyfriend betrayed her trust by getting pregnant and now she is waiting for him to give her a reason to trust him again. If he gets a job, supports you and your baby, she will come around.
As for your boyfriend he is trying to get some stuff straight in his head. He knows when the baby is born he has to grow up, and it is like a deadline to him. You both need to talk and listen to eachother. You need to communicate and set some guidlines now on how each of you will work together and what your jobs will be when the baby gets here. It's like a job and if you can work together and be organized, whether the relationship works or not, you will both have the number one priority in mind. The well being of your baby.

Answer 6

1. About your guy acting weird--- It's a big change, a good BIG change. Most first time fathers, and mothers, doubt themselves about how well they will be able to be a good parent, its very normal. And your mom is probably making him doubt himself even more, which isn't right... He has been with you for your whole pregnancy just about, so I think it's safe to say he is sticking around. and believe me, the very first time he see's his baby and holds her/him and looks into their eyes he will be on top of the world.

2. I have known PLENTY of young parents and NONE of them have ever regretted having their baby, even with all of the struggle.... and niether will you

3. You should sit down and talk to your mom, but keep your cool. Tell her how you feel, and how much more difficult she is making you and your boyfriend feel. Tell her that you are going to be a MOM soon and she needs to stop treating you like a little teenager, but that you still need her support and it would be diffcult for you if you didn't have that support. You can't change anything know and she needs to get over that.

Don't let your mom take over, just let her help you.

congrats and good luck you will be a great mommy!

Answer 7

i was a teen mom also and had to deal with a similar situition but i didnt let it bother me cause i was stubborn and thought i knew everything so i married my babys father. it didnt last and i missed out on a lot. but thats a long story so if you really want to consider marriage just give it along time before you actually do it just to make sure thats what you want. you can always be together and break up and get back together as much as you want but marriage is a whole other situation.
also, it could just be hormones making you think hes acting funny but just make sure you keep your eyes open. don't go looking for trouble but dont be blind to it either. he might just be stressed out about finding a job and concerned about becoming a father and comments from anyone else doesnt make him feel any better

Answer 8

God offers us life, as a free gift of His grace - grace is love. We need to accept it, and all that goes with it. If we do, we receive eternal life. If not, when we die, we die, body and soul both. Sounds easy, but, it isn't as easy as it sounds. We can reject God's offer consciously, but, also by our actions, but not following the rules set down for us; not treating others as ourselves, etc. So, while you cannot earn your way into Heaving by being good, you can be denied by being bad. As for the "correct" church - that is impossible to say. If there was one correct denomination, we'd all be in it. As a VERY general rule, groups that are more correct seem to have more success. Thus, Christianity is the largest religion in the world right now, which is not proof that God likes Christians better by any means, but, it may show that Christians get more right than wrong. Within Christianity, a denomination that begins, then fades, or isn't growing may be an indication of something not working. There are reasons why the mainline denominations are that way. But, none is 100% correct, and none is 100% incorrect. Each denomination strives to do the right thing, as they see it. The differences are mostly opinions on what should be done. An example: The Orthodox, Catholics, Anglicans, and Lutherans (and possibly some others) look to the Bible first. If an answer is not in the Bible, they will look at the early church, and see how things were done then. This goes by various names, but Sacred Tradition is one, and gives you the idea. Others, mostly Protestants, reject anything not in the Bible. The early Church councils etc., are just not part of their thinking. Who is right? Depends who you talk to! Some churches are sacramental, believing that something "real," namely the actions of the Holy Spirit are present at things like Baptism, and the Eucharist. Other churches take these things as important but, as symbols, not as actual things in an of themselves. How is correct? It depends! I have seen individuals who were moved by God, founded churches, when then grew. I have then seen where they became influenced by the "other side," and they moved into being a false church. This can happen with some denominations too, although the bigger the group, the harder it is to change. For you, I might suggest just attending a service or two (or more) at different churches, and see where you fit the best. The most welcoming community, with teachings that resonate with what is in your soul. I personally would stick to the mainline denominations, as that is my background, although there are also good arguments for smaller, more independent churches too. So, try them, and see for yourself!

Answer 9

I think you mom and boyfriend need to sit down and have a talk about the things being said and how it is effecting everyone.You should also sit down and talk to your boyfriend every chance you get and both of you tell each other whats on your mind and be open and honest I don't think any of you are mind readers so the best thing to do is let it out in a healthy way of whats bothering each other.For mom she could be scared for you, your her baby having a baby and she doesn't want to see you done wrong for boyfriend he could just be feeling all kinds of pressure from mom and new baby and his own family etc..Just need to sit down and have a family meeting I think it would help tremendously and would be positive for everyone and you mom need to try to relax and prepare for your sweet baby =) God bless

Answer 10

Having a baby is a big things, not to mention being teenagers and doing it... And most men want to be good father and the fear of not being able to provide for their child on top of the stress of having the child in the first plan is enough to stress anyone.... You nrrd to sit down and have a talk with your mother talk to her listen to everything she has to say and once she is done resopnd to them. I say do it this way 1 because this way you know all of how she feels 2 she feels heard and 3 you response is the final one since she already said her peice. MAybe you three should sit down and talk. Be sure that you and your bf communitcate. Talk to each other he looks stress one day ask him why in a way that shows you are concerned not doubting him, since he is probably doubting himself... and most off pray on it.. Best of luck and wishes