My friends parents don't understand? Help?

Question

He tells no lies, however his parents always say that he's lying and they have no reason to. He is an expressive person - it's inherited from his relatives - but whenever he talks about something, like politics or school work and he gets excited, they say that he's yelling at them and that he's mad at them or being "sassy". He dosen't understand this. Sometimes, they yell at him and accuse him of things that he hasn't done. If he says that he's innocent, then he's "lying" or being "sassy". He never receives any apologies, even when they realize that they're wrong, however, his siblings receive an apology for being yelled at or accused, even when they're actually guilty!!! He doesn't understand - what makes him such a bad teenager? Does he deserve this? When will it end? Sometimes, when he's yelled at, he hides in the closet to cry. If he's caught crying, He will be yelled at even more. His parents don't understand that when they yell at him, it makes him feel really sad.

Answer 1

He needs to call a Family meeting, and at a comfortable time, like after a good meal, (make sure this is planned days, even a week in advance), He needs to discuss His feelings with all of Them. If it matters to Him, it should matter to His Parents. Have Him write down everything He wants to say, and to say it in a kind but firm manner. All of the Children have different qualities, and personalities. And Your Friend needs to know that His qualities are just as valued and appreciated as everyone Else's.

He needs to convey to Them that it makes Him feel sad when He is trying to express Himself, and His tone is misunderstood. He needs to say that He is a good kid, and He truly needs for His Mom, and Dad, two, of the most important People in His life, to honestly know and believe that He is. And just as He should apologize when acting out, or saying something improper, He needs the same from those He loves. Communication is the key. It always needs to be attempted during a defused time period. Let His Parents know that He honors and respects Them, and He means no harm when He talks about a topic that He feels passionate about, and His voice raises due to His enthusiasm. And whatever that can be done, to make life better, together, as a Family, He would love to begin the march in that direction.

Best Wishes, You are a Good Friend, and May God Bless

Answer 2

Obviously, his parents are the ones with the problem. Sometimes, life's not fair, which is why growing up and becoming an adult is all that much better. I had a similar life-style when I was growing up. I found that the best thing to do was isolate myself from those who were causing me to feel so terrible. Hiding in the closet will do no good. Instead, tell your friend to go for a walk or call up a friend and go to a movie or something. Anything to take his mind off the situation at home is a good thing. Also, talking to someone who can help him would be a good idea. If his problem gets out to the right person, they'll do something to take him out of that situation. It's no way for a child/teenager to be treated. Hope that helps!

Answer 3

"He" sounds like a very misunderstood teenager. I wish I knew how old "he" is - that way I'd have more to go on. Somehow I believe that this teen has somehow left a lot to be desired in terms of a relationship with his parents. It can't be this 'cut and dry. Something happened along the way to create this division and distrust between parent and child. I know teens who get excited and talk loud - and parents and teachers too - seem to think they are hollering, or out of control. It takes a lot for a person to really get pass that. You have to know that this person has a personality that includes talking loudly or getting excited. If you already know this - you can't hold this against him. It appears that there is a lack of communication between the parent and this teen. Teen needs to 'write a letter'. It's sound proof. Ask parents for a sit down meeting to 'discuss' some things that are on the teens 'heart'. Teen needs to be honest, cool, calm and collective. Teen might also include another adult - someone he might trust to 'help' him het his point across if he believes he might not make it. At any rate - teen should not give up. You have to talk to your parents about these issues and try to resolve them. Might not happen all in one night, but at least try one subject matter. Get a counselor from the school involved if necessary - a minister or someone else teen trusts. Not a bad teen - just misunderstood and is asking and seeking for help and understanding that he should be getting. I cannot see a parent who loves their child denying him that opportunity to express himself - even if he has to cry. Ain't nothing wrong with shedding tears. Just don't hide. Be brave and be strong. Stand up for what you believe in a way that is nonthreatening. I feel for you - not sorry - but I understand. As a teacher, I hear this all the time from my students. I am always an open door- an open ear and an open heart - I will do anything to try and bridge that parent and child gap to help them build a better relationship. Don't give up. You have support.

Answer 4

This kid has some messed up parents, i can tell you that!! personally, i am a middle child and have some of the same problems. i don't get the appologies, i don't get respect, everything is "My fault", etc.
I think ur friend really needs to talk to his folks about this. If his parents don't show any signs of improvement, that means they really don't care and ur friend should live elsewhere (if older than 18) or seek professional help. good luck with it all. i hope his parents grow up and realize that they need to be responsible parents.

Answer 5

i have felt like that for a lengthy time period or perhaps with the very incontrovertible certainty that i cant say "i understand", i imagine i can start up to undrstand. or a minimum of try. the section that bothers me maximum is the section the position u say no man or woman believes u are depressed. no man or woman knows u more effective than u do and if u experience fairly down maximum days, then u are depressed. melancholy impacts very nearly evryone faster or later. im honestly shocked that they are no more effective in contact. even however evryone receives depressed at some time, the adaptation is how u face it. its fairly sturdy how runnin takes ur options off issues: thats w/ me too. the television doesnt sound dat sturdy. sorry for ramblin, yet do u have all and sundry you fairly believe and function established for a even as perchance who can only pay interest to u communicate bout how u experience? cuz that fairly helped me: i verify with me sister seeing that we are fairly close (honestly we became close after my different sister died) different issues taht help me is song that expresses what i experience: no longer indignant song, only emphathetic song like Linkin Park's "Numb" , Evanescence "carry Me to existence ", etc. writin also enables me understand more effective wuts goin on in my options too. I undestand the section about your moms and dads findin fault, yet why do you experience youre doin somethin incorrect w/ your associates? do you no longer experience comfortable with them indirectly? sorry for askin such numerous questions and talkin a lot. desire this enables in some small way.

Answer 6

he puts the lotion in the basket......

honey, are you referring to yourself in third person? you deserve to say "I tell no lies"... "I don't understand".... "I feel sad".....

sorry to hear about your crummy situation, but things will change and your identity is not what it is now. jut do good in school, get a job and move out when the time is right. parenting doesn't come with instructions, so maybe your parents are just doing what they know. relationships always have rough spots. being a teen sucks for awhile, buddy! carry on and all will be o.k.! peace..

Answer 7

Not knowing the situation or him, I can't really say what to do , other then you might want to have your friend get in touch with your school consouler, or some form of consoling, someone who he can go talk to, that maybe able to offer some help.

Answer 8

look up Child Protective Services

Answer 9

Tell him to getsome counselling because he is in a familly who doesn't care of him like they should. Since he is to yhoung to leave he can go to a church or a youth group to ask for help

Answer 10

omg thats horrible!!!!! best wishes to him...maybe his parents were really horrible people wen they were teenagers and think that hes going to be the same. Parents never understand what its like.