How can I be a less jealous boyfriend?

Question

My girlfriend and I have been going out for a little over six months, and things are (for the most part) going great. She's fun, interesting, and beautiful, and seems to genuinely enjoy my presence, as I genuinely enjoy hers. We love each other very much.

However, I am very attatched to her, too attatched I think. I get very jealous very easily when she is with other guys and even when she is with her friends. I know that this line of thinking is unhealthy, but i do not know how to control it. Any advice you can give would be much appreciated.

Answer 1

Find activities/hobbies you like to do and do them. Have your own friends and hang out with them. These things will take your mind off of your GF all the time. By doing these things, she will see that you are confident, and that is always a turn-on! If you both really love each other, you need to trust her; trust is critical to all relationships. You're already ahead of the game by recognizing that this way of thinking is unhealthy, so now do something about it.

Answer 2

Imagine that you are in her shoes. You must know or have women friends that were in your life before your girlfriend was in it. How would you feel if you felt quilty about even having a pleasant conversation with any of them if you ran into them or socialized with them. Jealousy is ugly and makes you look like an a ss. Try to imagine being on the other side.
Wouldn't you feel foolish if you had to hide conversations with women all because your woman was the jealous type. It makes for a very unhealthy relationship and you could destroy what you have already built in your current relationship. Think of how much you could lose if you do not dontrol your emotions and thoughts. Try ot work on yourself and invest in yourself so that you are a good person that she will love even more....don't be jealous it shows insecurity and is a big turnoff dude. Best of Luck!!!!!!

Answer 3

What you should do is just relax. The worse thing she could do is cheat on you. Even if you are jealous you can not stop this. A lot of guys are afraid of being hurt. One way to get over this is to think of the worse case scenario. If she ever did cheat on you what would happen? You would leave her as it was just not meant to be. Simple. You can not control someone 24/7. If anything like that ever did happen then you were not meant to be together. Give her some space and see where things go. I used to be a very jealous boyfriend as I was cheated on before. This mindset helped me getover my jealousy. She will love that you have trust in her.

Answer 4

you say you love her but then you get jealous? it doesn't connect to me. because " Love is patient and kind. Love is NOT JEALOUS or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." (1 Corinthians 13)

you see..if you truly love, there is no room for jealousy and envy. it is because love is never that way.

where there is jealousy is an absence of trust.
maybe TRUST is your problem. its either you dont trust yourself, or you dont trust your girlfriend. IF you trust yourself, you would know that your girlfriend will never find someone else to replace you and you will have that confidence in yourself.

or maybe..you dont trust her. if you dont trust her, then might as well end up your relationship. because love is about trusting each other. it means that wherever and whoever she is with, she will always be thinking about you and will never do anything to risk that trust. and that also means that wherever you are and whoever you are with, you know that nothing and no one in this world can replace her in your heart.

or maybe... you have cheated on a former girlfriend before that's why it is so hard for you to trust someone else (even your current GF) for fear that she might do to you what you have done to someone else. is that your situation right now? if so, then get over yourself. promise yourself that you are not going to do something so stupid and selfish like that again. if you say that you really love your GF now, then you have to learn to trust her so that she can learn to trust you too. you have to learn to respect her and love her enough to celebrate her individuality and uniqueness as a person. you see, she is still your GF..not your wife. so in reality you dont have any right at all to restrict her moves and to do whatever she wants to do or to be with whomever she wants to be with. you just have to respect her individuality.

.....and trust me..if you do this. you'll keep her for a long time.

Answer 5

Yes, you are right, this is your problem and you have to be the one to solve.

Your self-esteem needs work, for starters. You can ask yourself what is good about you. You can take classes and achieve goals, or take up hobbies and excel. All will help you see your worthwhile as a human being. You can also seek counseling, and since jealousy is a common factor in abusive relationships, your local domestic violence shelter may have some groups pertaining to abusive males such as AMENDS, which is Abusive Men Exploring New Directions. I am in no way saying you are abusive, but jealousy can be a sign of serious troubles ahead. Best to take care of before they get out of control.

Also, you should realize that you cannot control another persons feelings, actions or behaviours and to attempt to do so can constitute abuse, so if you are jealous, doesn't matter what she is doing, you need to take care of the problem yourself and since you have asked I suspect that you are very motivated to do so.

Finally, if she is in any way contributing to the jealousy by flagrant displays of flirting or teasing, you should re-evaluate the wisdom of a relationship with her. However, your statement leads me to believe that the jealousy is in your head, not her actions. Good luck to you and since relationships take work and you seem to be willing to work, you are starting with a good foundation. But don't be to disappointed if it doesn't work out, there are other girls available.

Answer 6

You overcome this by building self-confidence. The trick to building self-confidence, though, lies in being alone for a while. When you can tolerate being alone, and when you really know that you're okay by yourself and that you don't need a girlfriend, then you don't care so much about what women are doing when they're not with you.

Girls and women love confident guys - just ask. Jealousy and "being attached" are probably the two biggest turn-offs ever for women. I know this will sound really weird, and I doubt you would do this, but the thing to do is to dump your girlfriend and be alone for a while, and then just date recreationally.

Believe me, if you can master the courage it takes to do that, women will flock to you like nobody's business.

Answer 7

Talk to her and find out if you are on the same page as far as where this relationship is going. Jealousy is usually caused by insecurity. Take up a new activity or try to improve yourself so you can boost your self confidence. If you have a healthy social life you won't have time to let your overactive imagination wander.

Answer 8

You're on the right track because you can even ask this question. That means you are willing to look at your own behavior, which this is probably about, if she is not being provokative to make you jealous. You sound like a cool guy because you are willing to ask such a question. If you always do that you will probably get the answers you need because you are willing to grow.

Answer 9

I don't see why you are jealous. You said your self that you both enjoy each others company. It look like to me that she is interested in you . As a girl she is going to want to be around other people than you. But try not to get mad. When she is with her friends just hang with some of yours,

Answer 10

Build more confidence. Just think to yourself that she loves you, and that those other guys dont mean anything like she means to you. Those guys might be her friends, but she its not in the way that she wants to be with them. You have to trust her, and just know that getting jealous will make the relationship complicated. Because it will, jealous will ruin a lot. Just think about it, you dont want to ruin it.