i am 23 weeks pregnant and the babies father has been very random since we found out i was prego...he just pops in and out of my life whenever he wants....he comes around tells me he wants to be with me that he is going to leave his wife (he and his wife were seperated and he was living with me, we broke up he went back to her and then i relised i was pregnant) and he loves me then disappears again....and i no longer want to deal with him otr the lifestyle he lives...is it bad of me to move like an hour away and not tell him, and change my cell # so he cant get in touch with me?
i do love him and feel that i always will, and also feel that if i stay around where he lives i will not be able to move on with my life, and will not have a chance to have a normal healthy relationship
he is really good at manipulating me
2006-07-23 14:19:16 · 20 answers · asked by what2do? 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
if he decides to be apart of our baby's life i would never deny him or my child that, i just feel that he needs to know that i'm not dealing with this anymore...and as far as having a baby out of wedlock...marriage is just a peice of paper, he has a wife that he has cheated on since day one...is she better off because she is legally tied to him? i think not!!
2006-07-23 15:19:24 · update #1
this isnt a fly by ight relationship, we have been together for 4 years, 2 of which we have lived together....he started getting mixed up in tghe wrong kind of stuff and i kicked him out and she took him back
2006-07-23 15:24:02 · update #2
and for you people who have negative comments especially you mooning...you probably are the lady whose husband does cheat on her and she is clueless...or the woman who knows whats going on but refuses to do anything becasue you have no identity outside of that of a couple
love is love a peice of paper means nothing more!!! and that is obvious by the amount of people who have affairs and cheat on their spouses...if it really meant something (as it should) then the divorce rate would not be so high and the amount of extra-marital affairs would cease to exist...so before you start casting stones at me, you should take a look at your own situation...and needless to say, you are not God and are in no position to judge me, and therfore you should get help!!
2006-07-24 00:18:39 · update #3
i think you have to do whatever is best for the baby... if he is not going to be a good father and if you can provide for the baby.. i think moving away and getting him out of your life is fine.
2006-07-23 14:23:36 · answer #1 · answered by realgirl768553 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on with your life and stop letting him manipulate you. As painful as it is, it's quite obvious that the wants "his cake and eat it to". He doesn't seem to be in a hurry to leave his wife or it would have happened by now. Don't be the other woman sitting patiently in the wings for him and jumping at his beckoning call. Make a clean break from this guy. He's not providing any positive influence in your life. And right now, that's what you need and all the support you can get. He's not stepping up to the plate...leave. Hope you have a happy fulfilling life. Good luck!
2006-07-23 21:29:44 · answer #2 · answered by Jenna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is bad news. Sorry to say this, he just wants to have fun whenever he feels like and he can't show up as he likes. He has not shown the commitment you deserve, especially with you being preg and all.
You have things to take care of, such as a baby. If you believe giving up for adoption is a better alternative, do so - otherwise consider an abortion because life will be lot simpler. I do not know how advanced is your pregnancy. Your doc is your best bet on advising you on this. Do not depend on Y!A for this.
Whatever you do, stay away from this guy. You will certainly get over him (Time is a greatest healer of all) and you will meet someone who cares for you. Do not sell yourself short by hanging on to him. You said so yourself - he manipulates you.
What makes you think it will be different after you get married to this guy. He has shown his true colors. Believe me, he won't be any different. We are talking about spending time with this guy for the rest of your life or his life. This is not to be treated lightly.
Just pick up your pieces, make a few important decisions about your baby and move on.
2006-07-23 21:32:47 · answer #3 · answered by Nightrider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you need to worry about is you and this baby. A man who is not sure what he wants and goes between two women isnt going to make life easy, I dont think it would be such a bad thing, but you have to remember that if he wants anything to do with this kid, he may hire private investigators to find you and cause you problems later. and on the other hand, if you want any finacial help from him for this child that wouldnt be so good either.. I would stand up, not fall for his b.s. and tell him that you no longer want this life style and you dont want a relationship with him but that if wants to be part of this baby's life that the 2 of you need to work out an agreement with support, and visitation.
2006-07-23 21:27:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is going to be even more fun once the baby is born.
Dump the user, unless you want to be wife number 2
Make sure you get child support.
Or move in with wife number 1
Chances are when he is not with 1 or 2, he is already working on number 3
Has he ever mentioned the Mormons ?
2006-07-23 21:25:50 · answer #5 · answered by r_e_a_l_miles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, be strong! Think of your child, your not gonna want that baby growing up in an unhealthy environment! If you know that if you stay there where he can contact and manipulate you, then move away, it's not wrong at all! You need to do whats right for you and your baby, and to me, it's sounds like the right thing would to be to get out of that situation!
2006-07-23 21:24:56 · answer #6 · answered by munkypoo1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to do what is best for you and your baby...he doesn't sound like a strong, upstanding citizen since he is jumping back and forth between two lives. I realize that you will always love him and have a connection with him, but you need to break the cycle. I wish you all the luck in your future....make a wonderful life for youself and your baby and in time you will find a wonderful man to love you both.
2006-07-23 21:24:45 · answer #7 · answered by pammy_6201 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the father of the baby is in and out of your life right now, then nothing will change that. Do what is best for your unborn child. Your baby will need stability, rather than a rent -a- dad.
2006-07-23 22:07:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously know already what you need to do, so just do it and quickly. Statistics show that men rarely leave their wives for their mistress. Also, if he will do this with you he will do it to you! Try to keep you pants on from now on and make better decisions using your head. This baby needs you and it is a lifelong commitment you need to make for his/her well-being. He can only manipulate you if you let him. You are not a victim you are a participant. Stop letting this guy walk all over you take back your power.
2006-07-23 21:49:38 · answer #9 · answered by chynna30_2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do what you feel is right for you and the baby. Don't let this stress you out, because it isn't good for you or the baby. I think you should leave. If not just for some time alone to clear your head and to think about what is best for you and the baby. I wish you luck and happiness.
2006-07-23 21:33:32 · answer #10 · answered by funfishinghunting 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I could do the same thing at times, but in reality , what would it do to the child?? When the child grows up and starts asking ? about his/her father, they are going to need to know. You can on the other hand move 1 hour away, but I highly suggest for that child's sake, letting him/her see there father, but do it through the courts
2006-07-23 21:25:08 · answer #11 · answered by snowball24life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋