I'm 27, I feel like it's time to have kids and get married. I hav been dating dis guy 1yr 1/2. He is strong opinion, controlling, always want to be right. He's clingy, needy and ask to many questions about nothing. He cooks, cleans and very romantic. He has 2kids 7 & 8 they share custody he's divorces and in debt, he loves to spend on me, he never listens when I says pay of your debt first, we argue all the time and I'm quick to brake up with him. He lives 2 1/2 hrs away, I graduted last Dec and found a job out of town on purpose. I lov him, but I'm not sure if I want kids or an ex wife. He loves me too much. He wants to marry me. He gets an attitude if I go out with my friends, he thinks we are always going for guys. He doesn't trust me. He is also a speaker played NFL now plays arena footbal, a trainer and has a daytime job with the state. He is very successful smart and attractive. People look up to him, I don't understand why he' so insecure. He take great care of his kids.
2006-07-23 13:31:35 · 11 answers · asked by Smile 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No one is perfect, but you don't sound like you "love" this person.
Your "biological clock" makes you feel pressure to chose a
mate, but this guy seems like he irritates the heck out of you...
from how you described him.
Why don't you find someone you think is "wonderful"...at least before you get married. You are still young.
2006-07-23 13:41:53 · answer #1 · answered by elcycer 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
uh???? I believe you have answered your own question. DO NOT marry this guy! you think he is controlling now, just wait until you share the same last name..... You don't want to spend all your energy making this guy feel secure and needed. It will take away from you growing as a person and becoming all that you can in the future! Enjoy your new life and freedom after you let this guy go! why would you want to be with someone that can't trust you?
2006-07-23 20:37:54 · answer #2 · answered by me :) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a break for a month. During this time you'll figure out if you're in love or not. If you are, your heart will break when you think of living without him. Btw, you listed a lot of positive qualities. Just remember, you're not going to find someone who's a perfect person.
2006-07-23 20:42:55 · answer #3 · answered by Someone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although he is good in certain aspects, his negative traits do not bode well for you.
Taking good care of his kids might not be so good for you either.
Strong, controlling, debts, don't listen to you, attractive, insecure.......all these traits are time bombs waiting to explode. What with kids and ex. I won't recommend you stay with him one more day. I am sure you are attractive enough to find someone else.
2006-07-23 20:39:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I havent experienced anything like this so I can't imagine your circumstances.
However, I do know that love is the most powerful and beautiful thing in the world. If you love someone, you really want to do the best you can to be with them and make them hapy, even if you can't in circumstances, you'll still want to. Is that how you feel towards him?
2006-07-23 20:38:45 · answer #5 · answered by fleaciante 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i dont understand how you can love him if you dont want what he has that come along with him... i dont know if i would want someone so insecure... plus, you got a job outside the city on purpose... dont you think that if you loved him you'd want to be with him more and so you'd geta job in the city?? by the way, you might want to get a man who actually listens to you instead of wasting all his money when he could be paying off his debt...
2006-07-23 20:37:45 · answer #6 · answered by baby bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run away as fast as you can! I didn't and now I am messed up in the head. I ended up finally divorcing the guy and I am now afraid to go out and date because I am afraid I will meet the same type of guy. I stay at home, answering these questions. Don't end up like me -- please!
2006-07-23 20:36:38 · answer #7 · answered by PuttPutt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you describe is the biggest train wreck waiting to happen that I ever saw!! What in the world is wrong with you, girl??? Are you stupid or what??? This guy is a LOOSER and if you don't run the other way.......NOW.....then you will get what you deserve. GOD!!!! You actually sound as screwed up as he is......Geeze.....I cannot believe it!!!!
2006-07-23 20:36:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he's controlling then he doesn't really love you!! you need your time and he's gonna need his time. sit down with him and talk about what you want. if you don't want to deal with an ex then quit it now before the kids get attached to you!!
2006-07-23 20:36:26 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you have described is a real nightmare relationship. Run, don't walk away.
2006-07-23 20:35:34 · answer #10 · answered by papricka w 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋