i know im engage but i know it was my faul talking to this guy and i never thought i fall really hard for this guy and first time in my life that i felt tru love and passion with someone like this., everything is set and plan for my marriage. and i think i have to make a choice and shuld tell this new guy about my situation. does he get really mad and hate me? even if i get married, i want him to be my friend for my life.., ..would that be possible????
2006-07-23 13:24:31 · 21 answers · asked by mudbloodprincess 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No it's not possible for this man to be your friend for life. No man or woman will ever want to come 2nd. Even if you two remained friends the problem here is that you two are in-love. Do you honestly think that he will want to just be your friend when he has really strong feelings for you? Do you think that he's going to be ok with the fact that your about to get married, and belong to another man for the rest of your life?
If you decide to tell this man that you are getting married I doubt he will trust you in the future because you lied from the very begining. This man could probably had respected the situation if he knew everything upfront, but when you hold back and hide things as serious as this then you are asking for trouble. He would never trust you because he would always wonder if you would do the same to him.
This is pretty bad for your fiance as well. If you decide to go ahead and marry him then your going into your marriage with a lot of deceit. No matter what, you will always be thinking about this other guy and I don't think that's fair towards your fiance. It's not fair towards either one of the men because they are both in the dark.
You can't be friends with a man that you are in-love with the rest of your life because you two are in-love. You will still cheat on your new husband because your feelings are still there for this other man. I don't think that you should go into the marriage this way. Your going to have serious problems down the road if you don't come to a decision about getting your life together in some way. You either need to cut this other man off or cut your marriage off. Someone is going to get hurt.
I don't want to bash you with this I just want to be honest in my opinion. We all find ourselves in situations that we wish we would have never gotten into. I just want you to start fresh somewhere along the line and make the best decision for yourself.
2006-07-23 13:48:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like serious **** or should I say real life. Think of how miserable you are going to feel knowing that the person who you truly felt connected to will be lost in a memory forever. If the guy that you are going to marry does not make you feel like you should be with him, then don't, cancel the whole parade and tell the real one how you feel. Its better to confess now that you still have time because later when you are in the middle of your marriage and life, you are going to cause great deal of pain and tears. Don't be a fool and make mistakes that you will regret later in your life. Its sounds easier said than to be done, but its for your own good and the sake for your happiness. C'mon go and tell the real one where your heart is heading.
2006-07-23 13:40:47 · answer #2 · answered by Joe Ivan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are feeling isn't love, it's lust. Love doesn't happen in fifteen minutes. It takes work, commitment, compromise, and effort to have love. Sex you can have anytime.
Is your fiance such a jerk that you would be willing to throw him over for someone you just met? How do you know that this guy is as wonderful as you think he is. How much time have you spent with him? How has he treated you when he got angry? Do you have a clue as to how he really is?
Unless you really don't want to marry your fiance and are using this guy as a excuse to break it off, then I would seriously consider what I wanted and what I was doing before I took the steps you are considering.
2006-07-23 13:39:19 · answer #3 · answered by Ellen J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Four months back, i was in ur situation. I was all set to get married, but i fell in love with some one else.
However, i married the guy i was engaged to, and thank god for that. Just recently, i found out that this other guy i was sooo in love with was not only in love with me, but in love with about 10 more gals. I thought i was special to him, but i was just one more gal falling into his trap.
Till this day, i thank god for helping me make the right decission.
And the love i get from my husband, i could never imagine getting it from the other guy i once loved.
As for your question about he being ur friend, that's not possible, guys cannot be friends, the word love will come inbetween.
2006-07-23 13:33:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was engaged for two years..thought it was love...same thing happened to me, slightly downgraded though! the other guy just turned my head. i thought if that could happen...how happy would i be with my fiance'. i told him i wanted to break up turns out it was the best thing. now i've been with a beautiful man for 5 years and we have the most adorable 19 month old little girl!!
you have one life kiddo...embrace it!!!
2006-07-23 13:31:38 · answer #5 · answered by Ashley P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know where you are from but just f--k them both. That is how they do it here in America. Either way they are f--ked and you are truly f--ked.Go for it put some adventure into your life and don't listen to those a$$holes who tell you to tell boyfriend. Have some fun you are young and if you loose your boyfriend then no big deal because you don't care for him anyway.
2006-07-23 13:32:45 · answer #6 · answered by irishlad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you get married, i dont think your husband or you will be too happy with the fact that you're in love with another guy... you should tell your new love about your situation and see what he says... maybe you will be able to be freinds still... you might want to tell your fiance about the situation too, but dont upset him so much that he'll want to call off the wedding... that would be horrible... you might want to tell him after the wedding... but that might be too late if you're in love with someone else...
dont get married to someone you dont love... especially if you cant spend the rest of your life with them!
2006-07-23 13:28:22 · answer #7 · answered by baby bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make a decision. It's not fair to either guy to string them along like this. No, you can't keep this other guy as "back up." Be careful. You may lose both of them.
2006-07-23 13:27:43 · answer #8 · answered by sxyltb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your physically attracted to him than no ... you always going to want him badly, check your feelings for both guys think throughtly ask God to help you. listen to messages daily God speaks to us everyday we just don't listen , the reason you meant this new guy is for a reason, it's up to you to figure out with which guy your going to be most better person and sharing you in this world.
2006-07-23 13:35:24 · answer #9 · answered by Tellie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell both guys and call the wedding off untill your absolutly sure u know what your doing.
2006-07-23 13:28:16 · answer #10 · answered by Dan T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋