I have six bridesmaids planned for my wedding. I had four of them planned forever my fiance has a sister and my mom talked me into another. The problem is two of them hate each other and have different opinions on everything just to spite each other. And both of those two have major opinions and think they should have a huge part in the planning. Especially the one who calls me all the time saying "its your wedding but just to give you an opinion..." I value all of their opinions and want them to have a choice in what they wear and how some things are done at the reception but its driving me crazy. All of them are close friends and I don't want to hurt any feelings but there are days I want to turn into a bridezilla and have things my way. I know I need help with the planning and setting up of this wedding but it seems easier to do things myself rather then listen to my bridesmaids bash each other and complain about each others ideas. How much is too much?
2006-07-23 13:18:40 · 7 answers · asked by andrea 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Bottom line, this is YOUR wedding, not their's. And if they're doing any thing to make you unhappy and anxious, then they need to know. And if they continue, then FIRE THEM. True friends wouldn't do this. As a bridesmaid, I've worn the ugliest dresses, and endured temper tantrums and bitchy brides. I was a bridesmaid 3 times... and I knew that everything was basically up to the bride. The last thing the bridesmaids need to do is to cause stress for the bride.
I found this "job description" online:
"Bridesmaid's Role
The bridesmaids also provide support to the bride, including helping with the bridal shower, writing the gift descriptions, passing out cake to the guests at the shower, assemble the invitations, and any other tasks the bride wishes to assign. The best thing the attendants can do is be response to the bride's needs, follow-up on any requests, and be present. "
2006-07-23 13:25:10 · answer #1 · answered by Annie's World 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have reached the point of too much. If they can't decide to be nice. Then you need to say this is my day and I want this to happen. Become the bridezilla whenever these two are around. Take the other 4 who are able to get along and let them have the input in what they wear, since they are not fighting and when the other two are around say this is your idea and let them hate you. You put them in because someone else wanted them in the wedding and now you are paying the price. Try to have fun doing things with the other four and swear them to secrecy. Try to have fun at your wedding and don't worry about it. It comes out to be one day and when it is over it is just a series of stories told later to your children.
2006-07-23 20:38:56 · answer #2 · answered by mom of girls 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to the two who hate each other together and tell them that you love them dearly, but if they can't get their act together and at least pretend to get along, then they will need to drop out of the wedding. Inform them that you have always dreamed of having them in your wedding party, but you have enough to deal with without having them behave like children. Get the ones together who bash each other and complain about ideas and let them know that you want and appreciate their help, but you cannot listen to your friends complain about each other and their ideas. It's hurtful to you and you want to enjoy every minute of your wedding. You can't if they're too busy degrading each other. You also want them to enjoy every minute of it with you.
For the one who calls you all the time and says "It's your wedding but just to give you an opinion", cut her off at the pass. When those words come out of her mouth, interrupt her and tell her it's not a good time to talk and you have to go. If it's in person, interrupt her and change the subject. If this seems rude and you want to go the direct route, simply tell her, "I'll think about that and let you know if I need help".
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. It's hard enough to plan a wedding without having your friends cat-scratching all around you. Good luck and God Bless.
2006-07-23 20:40:13 · answer #3 · answered by stseukn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them that if they have an opinion or suggestion about the wedding you'll be happy to listen but if they are going to say anything negative about the other member's of the wedding party then to SHUT THE HELL UP because you don't want to hear it!
2006-07-23 23:25:02 · answer #4 · answered by Mollywobbles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them know that planning a wedding is stressful enough...you don't need their bickering....and if you want an opinion, you will ask for one. Tell them point blank that if they can't get along you will have to not have them in the wedding.
2006-07-23 22:48:11 · answer #5 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them how you feel. This is your day you need to do what you want. I only gave my bridesmaids the choice of what kind of dress to wear the rest I didnt bother asking beacuse I knew there would be conflicting opinions.
2006-07-23 20:24:24 · answer #6 · answered by Great Gifts 4 Everyone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You call the shots, make a decision and stick to it. It's pretty much a motto you will have to learn to live by until this is all over because people are always trying to give unsolicited advice that only complicates things more.
2006-07-23 20:26:06 · answer #7 · answered by treday25 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋