or a website to find them
2006-07-23 12:17:52 · 14 answers · asked by silver_princess16_03 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Got tons of dirty jokes....check this one:
Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I'll be parked around the corner."
She's not there 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, "How much?" She says, "A hundred dollars." He says, "All I got is thirty". She says, "Hold on," and runs back to Harry and asks, "What can he get for thirty?" "A hand job".
She runs back and tells the guy all the gets for thirty is a hand job. He agrees. She gets in the car. He unzips his pants, and out pops this HUGE penis. She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back." She runs back to Harry, and asks, "Can you loan this guy seventy bucks?"
2006-07-23 13:23:28 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Gilmore♥ 5 · 6⤊ 3⤋
There's a vacancy at the local wood yard. One of the guys recommends Bill so the foreman tells him to get him in for an interview. When Bill arrives the foreman is shocked cos Bill is blind. "Wait a minute boss," the guy who recommended him said "he's got a talent, he can tell any type of wood just by the smell, try it if he fails then send him away if he succeeds give him the job." The foreman agrees to this and fetches a piece of pine. "That's easy," says Bill "that's pine, anyone can tell that!"
The foreman then fetches a piece of beech. Bill holds it to his nose and says "Beech, no problem." The foreman thinks there's no way he is getting beaten so he gets his wife from the office to lie on the bench face down in front of Bill. Bill sniffs the Foreman's wife, and looks puzzled, asks for the "wood" to be turned over. The wife turns over, and lies down again, this time on her back. Bill sniffs her again, then his eyes brighten "Aha, there's no fooling me, it's an old s**thouse door off a trawler."
2006-07-23 12:46:53 · answer #2 · answered by waftycrank 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have them. It just depends what kind you want. Put it on comments and I will come back if I win 10 points and give you three good ones. Sex is the most common subject.
Simple one:
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breath out of that thing?
2006-07-23 12:19:48 · answer #3 · answered by Texas Cowboy 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why not some clean jokes? Why dirty? Whatev!
2006-07-23 12:19:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i heard this years ago on comedy central. there was 2 dogs at the vet. one dog said to the other dog what are you here for. the dog said i live with a family that has a little girl and one day i attacked her so they are having me put to sleep. what are you here for? the dog said my owner is a beautiful young woman and one day she was getting out of the shower and rubbing oil all over her body so i attacked her. the other dog said is she having you put to sleep? the dog said no she is having my paws done.
2006-07-23 12:24:34 · answer #5 · answered by wonderwoman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a girl and her mom are walking in the park and see two teenagers having sex. the girl asks what they are doing and the mom tells her they are making cakes. then they see rackoons having sex and the mom tells her they are also having sex. the next morning the daughters syas: mom, you and daddy made cakes last night, didn't you? and the mom says no, what makes you say so? and the daughter says: 'cause I licked the icing off the sofa
2006-07-23 12:50:23 · answer #6 · answered by crazyromo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If yo left leg was thanksgivin an yo right leg was christamas can i visit u between tha holidays
2006-07-23 12:19:54 · answer #7 · answered by Restricted 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a definite website would be jokes.com b/c they have some good ones.
2006-07-23 12:19:51 · answer #8 · answered by Corian Laney 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the worse thing about eating bald pus$y? Pulling up the diaper afterwards. EWWWWW nasty and sick
2006-07-23 12:19:36 · answer #9 · answered by nemraC 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a really ugly man walks into a bar smiling from ear to ear, ......the barman asks him why he looks so happy, he replies, on my way home last night i found a beautiful woman tied to the train tracks, i untied her and we made love all night long! it was incredible!!!...........the barman asks, did you get a b-job???? he replied no, .........i couldn't find the head!..........
2006-07-23 12:25:44 · answer #10 · answered by Jamni@ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋