The brides mom asked for a $70 donation to pay for the shower, she also told me where I could buy a present for the bridal shower and wedding. I'm a little short on cash, and I was wondering how much I'd have to spend on gifts in addition to my dress, shoes, hair and nail appointments (for the wedding).
2006-07-23 12:15:29 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The bride is def. a bridezilla, and so is her mother. Her mom comandeered the whole bridal shower and her stupid wedding registry is off the charts expensive. The cheapest thing on it is a $30 silver, serving spoon. I only agreed to be a bridesmaid because I felt bad for her. We haven't even been friends that long, and I'm totally sorry about EVER saying yes.
2006-07-23 13:16:12 · update #1
When you sign up to be a bridesmaid you sign up to be spending a whole lot of money. You are responsible for your dress for the wedding and accessories. You are responsible for both shower, bachellorette, and wedding presents. And, depending on the situation, you are in part responsible for chipping in for shower and bachellorette party expenses.
I was in three weddings in one year, including my own and I know how expensive it can be!
Just know that even if you weren't in the wedding it is customary to buy a shower, bachellorette, and wedding gift if you are close to the bride and are invited to these events. Weddings are expensive!
BTW: The usual amount to give for a wedding gift is the price per person for the reception. Remember that if you are bringing a date to include him also. It is acceptable to give half of the total amount for a shower gift.
You may need to have a little chat with the bride and promise her to do something for her in the future such as help with thank you notes, moving into a new place, or purchasing other items off of her registry.
2006-07-23 12:48:05 · answer #1 · answered by crimson_aurora 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"actually, it is the brides job to do that stuff, even to buy your dress, i just had a wedding 3 months ago. and i researched the whole deal " It's not the bride's job to plan the shower or buy the BM dresses! lol. It's the bridesmaids/MOH's job. Meaning all the bridesmaids. The mom is completely right to ask for money from you if you are helping to set it up and will be involved with it. If you aren't, then it's a little bold to ask for money for something you have no involvement in.
Gifts are never required, but it's always a good idea and the polite thing to do. If she wants a $30 silver spoon, then get her a $30 silver spoon. You are supposed to spend the amount that the dinner would be worth - so this could be well over $100 if she's going all out.
Your dress & shoes are something that you should have thought about before accepting. In today's weddings, 99% of the time the bridesmaid is required to pay for them. However, hair & nails are completely optional. The first wedding I was in, I opted out of them knowing I could do my own hair & make-up.
2006-07-24 04:47:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay I know this is hard to take, but yes, you have to buy your own dress for the wedding, a present for all showers that you attend and one for the wedding. But the only time you have to help pay for a shower is when you agree to help host it. If mom is giving the party and hosting the party the bridesmaids should not have to help pay for this party. As to how much should you spend: I was a bridesmaid and to make sure that I didn't have to pay too much to so many different parties and then the wedding, I bought the cheapest items (and by that I mean the items that didn't go over $10) on the list and I bought as many as I could afford (I was in college at the time) and then I wrapped all the items separately and whenever I was invited to a party, I took one of the gifts and then when the wedding came around I took the remaining gifts to the wedding reception and left them on the table for the bride and groom to take home. It worked out best that way.
2006-07-23 13:17:21 · answer #3 · answered by mom of girls 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made the commitment, so buck up and handle what has to be done. Yes, you need to buy gifts for the shower and wedding - they do not have to come off the registry (that is only suggestions) or be expensive. In some cases, bridesmaids also help pay for the wedding shower. Go on, it'll all be fun!
2006-07-24 01:00:51 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you agree to be a bridesmaid you are taking on the responsibility of everything that goes with it. I believe you should help with the shower, if you can't afford the $70 maybe you could talk to the bride's mom and explain the situation to her. Maybe she would let you bake something or pick up the soda or something that would cost less money. As far as a shower and wedding gift. Maybe you could make something for her. Or a nice frame for her wedding. Look around, you should be able to get something fairly cheap and nice. Look at crafts you may be able to make her Good Luck and have fun at the wedding.
2006-07-23 12:22:52 · answer #5 · answered by sam04m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bridesmaids should put together the shower (unless the bride or groom's mom is doing it). They should take care of the costs and/or get the mother/mother in law to help pay if that is an option. You should buy the bride a gift, as well as get both of them a wedding gift too. You don't have to get flashy with your gifts. You can get the bride something simple like a nice photo album (things remembered.com) and for the wedding you could get them something like a nice crystal vase or glasses - which could run you as cheap as $20 especially if you catch a sale! (www.mikasa.com)
2006-07-23 12:20:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What bridesmaids typically do is pay for a shower but not a shower gift cuz the gift is the shower,hair,nails,dress,shoes,place your staying,and then usually a wedding gift,so you should buy a wedding gift and donate to the shower,cuz that is part of your responsibility as an attendant.
2006-07-24 17:26:59 · answer #7 · answered by movin12006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright, that does it. New rule. When a bride asks someone to be a bridesmaid, she much provide a written list of the expenses and responsibilites that go along with this honor. Too many brides (or brides' families) are counting on bridesmaids' being too polite to back out after accepting "the honor" of serving as bridesmaid, and using this politeness to extract funding for showers, bachelorette parties, etc. Get together with the other bridesmaids and foment a rebellion.
2006-07-23 13:31:00 · answer #8 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bridesmaids should help out with the shower and $70 is not much of a contribution for a bride's only day where she will be showered with gifts, warmth, and love from her friends and family. As for the gifts, you could consider getting her a gag gift for the shower and a gag gift-filled honeymoon suitcase for the wedding present. These ideas came from this page:
http://wedding-web-site.com/bridal_shower_gag_gift_ideas.shtml
2006-07-26 09:48:50 · answer #9 · answered by Wharf Rat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly the only thing I had my bridesmaids pay for was their dress and shoes etc. I had a shower but none of them chipped in for it. I would explain that you do not have the money it seems like alot to ask. If you dont want to buy from the regisrty thats fine. Do only what you can afford as a bride I would not be offended
2006-07-23 13:21:02 · answer #10 · answered by Great Gifts 4 Everyone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋