I have developed a crush on a guy I work with. He is really nice to me and whenever we go out on work nights out he always talks to me for at least an hour and is always complimenting me. I'm sure I've seen him blush when he talks to me and he lets me invade his personal space by sitting virtually on his lap and when I apologise for squashing him, he says he likes it. He puts his arm around me and has come up and hugged me for no reason just as I was leaving the bar once. So these things and things he says, lead me to believe that he might like me too. The problem is, he has a girlfriend so I can't have him and shouldn't fancy him and if he likes me, he shouldn't either! How do I get over this silly crush? There's another night out this weekend and I'm worried I may say something to him that I would later regret, like I fancy him!! We're both the same age but I've recently separated from my husband.
Help!!
2006-07-23 10:56:55 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We only speak properly like once a month. I've not been coming on to him, just talking really and I wasn't actually *sat* on his lap, just squashed up to him because there were too many people trying to sit on the bench in the bar we were in! I know I can't have him which is why I want to get over this, it's just silly. If he wasn't so nice to me I wouldn't even want him, I guess I'm just lonely :(
2006-07-23 11:22:28 · update #1
Distance. That's the best answer. If you quit sitting on his lap, quit hugging him, quit going out to his clubs and just take a "this guy I work with" break. You will find that it was mainly the attention that attracted you two. I bet if you just take space for yourself, for even just a little while, you will be over it like that!
Good Luck honey!
2006-07-23 11:01:54 · answer #1 · answered by aqurious_chic06 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Get a grip girl, he is a waste of space, if he is like this with you wait till you do the stupid thing and date him and see what hes like with the next woman he takes a fancy to, are you feeling a bit vulnerable because you have just separated from your husband and feel cause this guy is been nice to you he must be the one, look inside your heart do you really want another relationship to end cause this one will he seems a right rat, stay well away and wait for a good man to come along.
2006-07-23 12:31:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get the feeling that you are only likely to take notice of answers that you want. I can tell that you know exactly what you want to do by the way you put your question.
I believe this could possibly end in disaster.
Let's assume you go with this guy. Knowing he is with someone else. If you have a crush on him you may well have fantasised about a relationship with him.
How are you with trust. Would you trust him, knowing he closed a relationship with another woman. Would any mistrust cause problems in the future. Would these problems lead you to worry that he might do that to you as well?
Ultimately these are all questions you need to ask yourself without advice from anyone else on the answers, because in your life it is only important how you alone, would feel about it. After all, It is your situation.
2006-07-23 11:30:08 · answer #3 · answered by JeffE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So he leaves the girlfriend. Maybe you and he are a match made in heaven. Can't pass that up. Sounds to me though that you are still keeping an eye out for the possibility of another guy coming into your life, this one hopefully without a girlfriend, or worse, a wife. Also sounds to me as though you're not the kind of girl that would want to be in a relationship with a "polygamous" boyfriend. I believe in letting good feelings happen, you may never get the chance again, but hey, different strokes for different folks.
2006-07-23 11:05:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I have had a crush on a boy that i wrote notes to and called and he lives near me and we talked in the hallway and at the corners by his house i was sure he liked me i mean liked me more than a friend but this girl backstabbed me and went out with him even though we made a promise but he didnt do anything wrong he knew i liked him but i knew he wasnt going to be mine because he is 1 year older then me and i wont see him this year and from then on never because he is moving so i thought to myself he will never be mine were just friends so maybe you should tell yourself maybe he isnt the one for me and maybe lay off a little and dont fancy him so much but dont lay off to much when you get to the point that he thinks you hate him just find a different guy that would be right for you and you and the guy you like a lot can just be friends and make sure he knows you guys are just friends and i know it will be hard but you have to set your mind to it because i cant control you you have to do it because only you can control yourself. So really pursuade yourself and push yourself to get over this crush
2006-07-23 11:06:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave him alone unless he is single as far as he goes I would tell him that this flirtation is over unless he is single. What ever he does, think more of yourself than being a mistress. You'll never be happy with that. Also there is something dangerous about seeing a man that has a girlfriend. Be careful what you wish for it might come thru. Then you could be the girlfriend and he could flirt with someone else
2006-07-23 11:03:43 · answer #6 · answered by Sue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I think that you should just try and restrain yourself from flirting with him, he has a girlfriend and he shouldn't be condoning your flirtatious moves in the first place,you should also tell yourself that he is with someone and that it's not right what you're doing, if you really believe in doing the right thing, then you shouldn't have a problem eventually accepting that you can't have him at the present time,I'm sorry if this sounds harsh. I wish you the best of luck!
2006-07-23 11:02:36 · answer #7 · answered by caitymercede 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing that sets off warning bells in my head is "he has a girlfriend", Because of this, I would err on the side of caution because as long as there is another woman in the picture, I would not really set my heart or mind for that fact on being a part of this man's life. It just seems like he is double-minded when it comes to women and can;t make up his mind to really be available to ONE woman. Ask yourself this "Can I really trust someone like this with all my heart", than look at your friendship with this man again from that viewpoint and see what you come up with. Good luck! I'm rooting for you because I have been there!
2006-07-23 11:12:15 · answer #8 · answered by December Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People need to at least stay true to their own value system.
Ask him :"do you think it is imporant how your girl friend things and feels if you and I go out together on a real date, or do you think we should just remain sex partners?"
(use a rising intonation when you get to "real date" and a lower tone when saying "sex partners". That question should square him up; because you got to let these guys know that you are the real deal holy field...
You need to make men work harder to get what they want, otherwise they wont be serious; and a boyfriend who is not serious is a wast, because he will then do unto you as he has done unto his other girlfriends.
2006-07-23 11:10:51 · answer #9 · answered by David L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is off limits unless you want to start problems at work, you had better speak up and quit being so gullible, he's playing you because you are vulnerable. If you can't be strong don't go out. You will only get yourself in trouble. Respect yourself! You know the difference between a (boy)friend and a snake. sssssssss
2006-07-23 11:05:08 · answer #10 · answered by donna k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋