This is the case scenerio:
You have a daughter that got married. 10 months into the marriage her husband leaves her without so much as a goodbye. She tries to make contact with him to no avail as he refuses to acknowledge her. She finds out he has a g/f and has made plans to marry this girl. You see her through the hurt, pain and tears and are there for her. She decides to divorce him and gets on with her life. Then one day there's a knock at your door and it's your ex son-in-law. He tells you he's sorry and wants info of where your daughter is because he wants to try and get back together with her. How would you handle that?
Serious replies only!
2006-07-23 10:45:31 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I want to thank all of you for your responses. They were all great!! But unfortunately I can only pick one best answer. If I could, I would pick all of your answers as the best. A big thank you for all your advise and thanks for taking the time to answer my question. You are wonderful!
2006-07-24 15:53:41 · update #1
Wow, this must be a difficult decision for you. Of course, the right thing to do is contact your daughter and let her know that he came knocking on your door. Don't give him any contact information - it must be her decision. And don't give your daughter his contact information unless she specifically asks you for it. If she's truly gotten on with her life, she won't go back to him.
2006-07-23 10:53:41 · answer #1 · answered by mJc 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First I would let him know what I thought of him. Then I would tell him to call in a week. During that time I would let my daughter know the situation and my daughter, being the intelligent and confident woman that she is, would tell him to take a flying leap! I don't have a daughter but if I did I think that's how the situation would be dealt with.
2006-07-23 22:48:23 · answer #2 · answered by Mollywobbles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch! I was a single parent of a girl now grown. My first thought is to punch his lights out. But we all know what would happen then. Get his number and tell him she might call but warn him not to be stupid (again). Talk to your daughter about it and tell her the odds are against this working out. Sure she is grown and some say let her decide. You know you can't just step aside. Tell her to think about it a few days and then talk to you again before giving her the number. Be there (or very close by) when they talk. I wish you and your daughter the best...
2006-07-23 18:00:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand why you would want to flat out refuse to help him but it is your daughters life and she need to make the decision whether she wants to talk to him or even against your better judgement make up with him and try again so i think the best way to handle the situation would be to get his information and let him know you will pass it along to her to do what she will with it and then give it to her and let her know that you will support her in whatever she does don't be judgemental and love her
2006-07-23 17:51:56 · answer #4 · answered by aeval_anu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way you should give him information about your daughter. I would talk to my daughter first, explaining that I didn't think it was right to allow him to come back, but let her decide. She is an adult and as much as it hurts, we have to allow them to make their own journeys! I have been in a similar situation as you and, fortunately, it didn't take long for my daughter to realize, on her own, that he was an a** and she is doing just fine! Be there for her, comfort her, don't use the "I told you so" attitude, that only builds barriers. Comfort her, guide her, tell her your opininon if she asks and keep reminding her she is worth so much more than that. Good grace to you and God bless!
2006-07-23 17:51:00 · answer #5 · answered by amomentssunlight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him to hit the road and go back to where ever he was before he knocked on my door. Then after I have thrown him off my porch I would call my daughter and let her know whats going on and leave it in her hands. No matter her decision I would still stand beside my daughter.
2006-07-23 18:17:47 · answer #6 · answered by Spacious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get his contact information and give it to your daughter and let her contact him if she wishes. I would not give her info to him unless she has stated this is what she wants. It is natural to protect her so don't feel guilty about that but remember she loved this guy enough to marry him at one time and even a friendship with him might bring full closure for her. You be the protective parent but let her be the guide. Good luck!
2006-07-23 17:54:20 · answer #7 · answered by Missie D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him to get lost! He dumped her once, why not again? He had no respect for his wedding vows. He cheated on her. He ignored her. He only came around because his other relationship went sour. Don't upset your daughter again by letting the immature, selfish, jerk back into her life.
2006-07-23 17:53:12 · answer #8 · answered by Your Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to my daughter and tell her that he was there looking for her and let HER decide. She's a grown woman and you don't get to make the decisions for her. If she has really gotten on with her life then she'll tell you that she doesn't want to see him and please don't give him any information about her, if she wants to see him again that's up to her. Don't play GOD and make the decision for her, she may end up resenting you later on for it.
2006-07-23 17:48:52 · answer #9 · answered by Jennifer B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell him I have no problem going back to prison. Would slam the door is his face, just like he did to your daughter. Nothing but a user.
2006-07-23 17:50:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋