2006-07-23 10:45:13 · 9 answers · asked by pammy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
and sisters?
2006-07-23 10:45:31 · update #1
Well, you had a taste of freedom, and there's no turning back. You won't want to hear this, because it sounds like it's from the parent perspective, but I do remember it from the 19 year old perspective, too. The best thing you can do is remember that their house rules apply, and you need to (no matter what your age) give them the common courtesy of telling them things like where you are going, when you expect to be back, etc. That's a courtesy that probably your parents also extend to each other, even though they are both adults. Their curfews need observed (even if it seems ridiculous because you have no curfew at school). Its very normal for you to be struggling for your independence, but it's easier on everybody, including you, if you just enjoy all the freedom while at school and respect the fact that when at home your wings will probably be severely clipped because your parents' emotional reality hasn't caught up to your choronological age ... and it won't for a few more years. They are struggling, too, and even if they don't mean to, a part of them is trying to keep you under their "control" -- not to punish you or anything, but just to keep you safe and within the protective reach of their years of experience. You both need to remember to tell each other you love each other as often as possible. This is a really tough few years. Waaaaay tougher than the terrible twos.
2006-07-23 10:55:01 · answer #1 · answered by Rvn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem does not come from either of you. When you went to college you met many people and underwent many changes due to the new environment. Your personality changed while your relationship with your parents was not adjusting to accommodate the new change. It is neither your fault or your parent's fault. This is also quite common with friends one usually leaves behind when going to study. There is a lot of adjustment needed when one returns.
While going through the experiences at the college you changed dramatically through your studies and especially the new environment. At most times the change is subconscious, you do not realize that it is happening until you move back to your old surroundings, which is like turning the clock back and then trying to live in two time spaces, the past and the present at the same time. Neither you nor your parents are to blame for this. Give yourselves time to adjust. If it does not work and is causing some strain, the best thing is to move away and live on your own. You simply have evolved and it is not your fault.
2006-07-23 18:22:30 · answer #2 · answered by Satcha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why? You're growing up! You've likely gained some confidence while away, made some life decisions, changed some attitudes, behaviours, etc., and they're not used to the 'new you.' Trust me, it's normal. Families sort of have these 'humming' requirements, meaning everyone has to play their role and behave a certain way for the family to hum along and function. You've likely discovered this humming pattern doesn't work for you any more. You'll work through it, it'll be rough, but basically, they're the ones who have to deal, not you. they can't expect you to fall back into the groove; if they did, then what is the point of leaving the home in the first place. Just be mindful of them too. I mean, you can assert your independence, but do it respectfully. Tact and patience on both sides can ease the friction. That help?
2006-07-23 17:55:09 · answer #3 · answered by inprimeform 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are used to more freedom and responsibility now. You have changed and are growing up. This can be hard for your family to accept at first. Maybe they don't like the changes, either they want "their little girl" back, or they just hate the nose ring. Or maybe college has expanded your mind and things your parents told you, that you just took for granted as being true, no longer seem so right to you (like nose rings not being so trashy after all lol). Either way, cut them some slack and let them adjust to the new you. You have changed and are growing up - they have no choice but to get used to it!
2006-07-23 17:51:24 · answer #4 · answered by schoolgirl27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not the same person that you were
maybe they are finding it hard to let you (who you were) go......
you've lived a life that they only know bits and pieces of ......
it seems to be normal for college students to not really get along that first summer back at home.....
good luck
2006-07-23 17:57:45 · answer #5 · answered by suesue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be because you are not the same person that left home. Your experiences at colleage are making you more independent and you are beginning to question their authority.
2006-07-23 17:49:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
because your use to a different lifestyle thats what i went through when i came back like 2 months ago but im use to them again ill be heading back out pretty soon though
2006-07-23 17:50:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
because meanwhile y are used to live without them.
its normal.
2006-07-23 17:49:58 · answer #8 · answered by wernerl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU HAVE GROWN your independance. and they have had their own time for a year.
takes time to adjust to this again.
2006-07-23 17:52:49 · answer #9 · answered by cats3inhouse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋