Don't know what to do, concerning a death.?

Question

Well a boy in my school was found dead yesterday. He cummitted seuicide. I know of him but don't know know him personaly...through school. BUT I just realised that he is/was in my church youth group. so i know him through that. every one is really really sad but it dosen't catch me emotinal. I feel really bad but I havent and don't feel the need to cry. his funiral is on wed. and a bunch of people are going to it. But i don't really want to. does this make me a bad person????? HELP

wow, i diden't know i was going to get SO many answers! oh and i would never even THINK about attempting suiside!!! I belive its a sin...but thats just me. thank you all so much. I will probibly write a card and do something really nice...thx again! :)

Right, and both me and everyone involved thanks you for your prayers. and if you are not religious, thank you for everyone being sooo gratios twards me!

btw(i cant spell at all!!!)

Answer 1

sweetheart you really didn't know this boy personally , you hadn't loved him or were close to him , so don't feel bad
its very sad and i am sorry for what happened
but i know that personally because of my own beliefs , i don't feel the same sadness as everyone around me when even those close to me pass away
we are all built differently and how things affect us and how we handle it is all relative to us
be there for your friends who have been touched more by this .. maybe that is your purpose in this sad event ?

Answer 2

No it does not make you a bad person. Everyone handles death differently. Some people are fascinated by it while others can't even stand the thought of going to a wake and being in the same room with a dead body. Your reaction is actually very normal. About a year ago a girl who was one of my best friends in high school died in an accident. Since high school we even roomed together in college for a semester, but in the end we ended up on bad terms. Even still it made me sad when she died, but I didn't cry or go to her funeral. You have to remember that death is a part of everyones life and how you handle it is your own personal thing. There is no right or wrong way to mourn or act when someone dies. As long as you'r not happy about it or anything.

Answer 3

No it doesn't make you a bad person. Some people are just not as emotional as others. I'm the opposite, I'm extremely emotional and I only go to funerals if I am extremely close to the person b/c I don't want to put myself through the emotional roller coaster... some might call me selfish, but I deal in my own way. I also found, that before I lost a close loved one, I never understood death and all the emotions, and I never felt sad when someone else lost a friend/family member. It wasn't that I was unsympathetic.. I just didn't really know how they were feeling. But no, you are not a bad person at all.

Answer 4

No you're not a bad person.
A kid I went to school with OD'd a year after we graduated. It was the 1st funeral I’ve went to. I didn’t want to go to it, but it gave me some closure to be around people that were feeling the way I was. I felt bad, but it was good to go and comfort other people.
It gave me experience for the next funeral I went to (my husbands’ grandmothers this year.)
Don’t go if you don’t want to. It’s not the most enjoyable experience and you may be more comfortable going by you’re self to pay your respects when everyone else is gone. If you didn’t know him that well and don’t feel comfortable doing that either, you’re still not a bad person.
The youth group may do something for it too. I don’t know how they will handle it, sometimes they don’t do anything (because they might think he’s going to hell, and may not want to bring it up.)
The only thing you may take away from this is to never feel so alone that that would be your only way out. There will always be someone there to listen.

Answer 5

No it doesn't make you a bad person for neither crying or going to the funeral. We all deal with death in a different way depending on our beliefs as well as our own emotional personalities.

A funeral service is more for the relatives and close friends of the deceased and is a means of closure. It is not for the person who has passed on, they are gone.

We also live in a world that has made us almost immune to death. We read about it so often we have become desensitized to it. None of this makes you a bad person. If you feel the need to do something for his family or friends, why not say a prayer asking God to comfort them in their time of grief.

But remember, you are NOT a bad person.

Answer 6

If you are not a close family member of close friend then you need not have any guilt in not attending the funeral... you state you did not even recognise that he was in the youth group. That says that it is either a very large group or that you did not have any personal knowledge of him... You have no personal responsability in what occured and need not feel obligated because of the group connection....

But for your future youth group interactions I would talk to the leadership of your group or congrigation... It sounds like the group is too big for effective personal interaction...perhaps dividing it into smaller groups would be helpful... It sound like there needs to be some looking into the groups functioning and goals... If even one is left out so that even one other dose not recognise a member...then somthing is wrong in the orginization...

You will cry when you need to cry... at some time some thing will overwhelm you and this will come to your mind and you will cry... that is normal too... it will come in its own time..

I have prayed for God's peace for you.

Answer 7

No, this does not make you a bad person. You must do what you feel comfortable doing. My son died when he was 12, and all his class mates and other friends turned up to his funeral. I was pleased they were there, but I would not have been offended if any of them didn't feel they could go. Its a personal choice.

I am sorry to hear about his death in such a tragic way, and I will pray for his family and everyone that has been associated with him - such as yourself.

God Bless you!

Answer 8

i know exactly how you feel. an uncle of mine that i wasn't very close to died and felt no emotion what so ever and i wondered the same thing. While my family was devestated i felt out of place and... not sad really. i convinced my dad to let me stay with a firend while they went "home" for the funeral and such. not having any emotion towards something like that doesn't mean you're a bad person just that you weren't to close to him/her. but don't make the mistake i made. you should go to the boy's funeral; if not for yourself then for the people who need someone's shoulder to cry on.

Answer 9

You can't cry for every soul that dies. Be there for those that may be close to you that were close to him but if you do not cry that does not make you insensitive or cruel, you just did not have the connection others close to him did. Go to the funeral and show your respects but don't doubt you feelings because they are real. No one can deny REAL feelings. Enjoy the funeral and move on, Life must go on though good men die< I don't know who said it but it has stuck with me thru many deaths of friends, hope it helps u.

Answer 10

It's sad that he killed himself, but if you didn't personally known him, why do you think you should be emotional about it? I hear about a lot of people dying and don't feel like crying about it, it doesn't make me a bad person, just means I didn't know them. And you don't have to go to the funeral either. Don't worry about it, you're not a bad person nor are you weird.