A man was summoned to his attorney's office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer said.
"Give me the bad news first." "Your wife found a picture worth a milliondollars."
"That's the bad news?" laughed the man. "I can't wait to hear the terrible news."
The terrible news is...
"The picture is of you and your secretary!"
2006-07-23 09:57:58 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
You are my TVS SCOOTY (first love) and also my AIWA (pure passion). I always BPL (belive in the best)and you are my SANSUI (better than the best). You are my MC DOWELS (mera no 1) love LAO PALA (made for one). I belive in FRESHIA (gore pan se jyade khoobsurti ka wada) and you are one of the most beautiful in this world. I think of you day and night. When you give me one and only smile you are DOMINO'S PIZZA (delivering a million of smile per day) for me. This is COLGATE ENERGY GEL (seriously fresh) feeling for me. I would like you to be my life partner. I know you are afraid about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (the unshakeable) and also my father who is CEAT (born tough). But don't worry I am also FORD ICON (the josh machine) and rest of my family members are KELVINATOR (the coolest one). If they will say no we will run and marry and PHILIPS (lets make things better). They feel MIRINDA (jor ka jatka dhire se lage) and we COCA COLA (jo chahe ho jaye coca cola enjoy).
2006-07-23 09:59:04 · update #1
Trust in GOD who is always NOKIA (connecting people) those who love each other.
And we are WILLS (made for each other). We will be HERO HONDA (leading the way) of our love life. Then our life will be BOLERO (break free). Now HUNDAI (we are listening) the song of love you must know that love is DAIRY MILK (the real taste of life), SATYAM ONLINE (fun, fast easy), PARX (always comfortable) and also AMUL (the real taste of India) and for me life is HOME TRADE (life means more) So never forget me. OK bye! I wrote little but PEPSI (ye dil mange more)
2006-07-23 10:00:17 · update #2
A Catholic husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she’ll see him later and walks away.
The wife glares at her husband and says, “Who was that?”
“Oh,”replies the husband, “she’s my mistress.”
“Well, that’s the last straw,” says the wife. “I’ve had enough, I want a divorce!”
“I can understand that,” replies her husband, “but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Jaguar in the garage and no more yacht club.
But the decision is yours.”
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
“Who’s that woman with Moishe?” asks the wife.
“That’s his mistress,” says her husband.
“Ours is prettier,” she replies.
2006-07-23 10:22:25 · update #3
hehehe...check this one:
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I’m a virgin and I don’t know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place ’the
prison’ and call my private thing ’the prisoner’. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!
2006-07-23 13:27:52 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Gilmore♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thank you for the jokes, the 1st was really funny, yet bad. its good to get a good laugh every now and then.
2006-07-23 17:04:39 · answer #2 · answered by jumping popcorn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Customer: "Waiter, what are you doing with your thumb on my steak?"
Waiter: " I didn't want to drop it on the floor again, sir."
2006-07-23 18:22:08 · answer #3 · answered by cdf-rom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ROFl.. wats the difference btwween a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? One goes "Whack.. DAMN!!" the other goes.. "DAMN!! .. WACK"
2006-07-23 16:59:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it. A little too predictable, though...
2006-07-23 16:59:53 · answer #5 · answered by ouoray 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
funny jokes
2006-07-23 17:00:38 · answer #6 · answered by shopaholic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they both sucked give it up
2006-07-23 17:01:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
uh no
2006-07-23 17:00:06 · answer #8 · answered by jrmy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that was funny
2006-07-23 16:59:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol......that was funny..........thx for telling us....:-0
2006-07-23 17:08:05 · answer #10 · answered by *Neha.* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋