My husband is amazing, but . . .?

Question

He thinks he fails us (our children and I), simply because he doesn't make that much money.I know for a man that the MONEY things is important, but he does so much more. He is my best friend, my lover, an incredible kind man, the best daddy. He's the only guy I know who will stop at Wendy's to get a sandwich and soda for the homeless guy on the corner (when we have ten dollars to last us one week). And he'll walk an old lady across the street, and he'll give the coat off of his back for someone who needs it more (literally). Is this not the greatest guy?!

I trust him with every aspect of life. But he doesn't hear me when I tell him this. I want him to hear me (are you listening?). So, how do I make him understand that his kindness, love, togetherness and our sense of family is worth so much more than having more money in the bank account?!

I can live without a fancy house and a flat screen tv. I couldn't imagine living without him.

Answer 1

A lot of times a man's sense of self is tied up in his job. If he doesn't feel appreciated at work or hasn't achieved what he hoped he would, he can become depressed.

Keep telling him all the great things you love about him. Be sure that you tell others too--like your friends, his family, etc. He might hear it more when it comes back to him through other channels.

Make sure that you don't neglect the sexual part of your marriage. For reasons that most women can't comprehend, men who are satisfied in their sex life tend to be happier and more self-confident. Think of sex as one more way to tell him that he is great and fabulous and the only man for you.

If he wants to explore other job possibilities, be supportive and willing to take risks with him. Continue to express your confidence and trust in him even if things don't always turn out as you (or he) would hope.

Answer 2

This is a nice problem to have. . .because your family (and your relationship with him) have a true "foundation".

That said, and it is sadly true in this human existence. . .nice guys finish last. . .or poor! But, to improve their (and your!) condition they do NOT have to become bad guys!

There are three solutions here. . .assuming there is a real need (and not want) for more money, in order to support a growing family and housing, furnishings, saving for the "big" events in the future (kids college, weddings, your retirement) etc:

1: It's time for him to "prove" to himself that he can have the same success at work that he has at home and in his marriage. . .which, in time, will lead to a better income;

2: You can take on a part to full time job. . .without threatening the happiness of the family (because all of you are already solid together and could handle your working, whether part or full time);

3: You can do both 1&2.

Also. . .study the full meaning of the word, "Shalom". . .for it means much more than "peace" in Hebrew. And, whatever you end up doing. . .start with gratitude!

Best wishes. . .don't give up. . .do not despair. . .be happy every step of the way!

Answer 3

You are a wonderful wife and he knows that. It may be the reason he is that way .He wants to give you and the children more because he feels you deserve more.

This is one time that I would ask him to "READ" what you put on the Internet. Maybe that will sink in more when he knows you are telling the world about the way you feel about him.

I wish all of you a long and happy relationship. Sounds as though you have a good thing going.

Answer 4

Perhaps your husband is mildly depressed. Get him in for a complete physical and mention, on the side to his doctor, your concerns. If he is a workaholic, there's not a whole lot you can do. In this case, it could be that you yourself are lonely and a bit depressed. In that case, get yourself in for a checkup, too. Make sure both of you are healthy. From there, if there's still a problem, consider counseling...he'll no doubt do this because he's such a sweety.

Answer 5

First off CONGRATS on finding such a wonderful man! As for your ? just keep telling him money is not that important and show him that you and the kids are well taking care of and that is all you can do. It is something he has to come to terms with and you can't make him listen. Just keep telling him and maybe he will get it.

Answer 6

Print out what you just wrote here and give it to him - put it on the bathroom mirror, in his wallet, and on the refrigerator. Put it on the rearview mirror in the car. :) That way, whenever he starts thinking about how little money he makes, he can pull this out. Also, you could make a list of all the great things you have that money can't buy you.

Answer 7

OMG if more people were like him things would be so different in the world... you should print out everything you just said and put it in his lunch pale with a big I LOVE YOU attached... It might just make his long day at work a lot better

Answer 8

Both of you are evolved,great people.You have gratitude

.Money will follow.

This level of partnership will bring out the best in children and a gift to the society

Answer 9

wow,lucky you to have such a great guy whose a good provider which is scarce this days,with such an understanding wife.with you health,blessed with children,honestly,i wouldnt ask for more.sooo,whats the question again....oh yeah,just keep reassuring him,that his more than enough.

Answer 10

show him love and tell him that you don't need the money if you haven't got him. tell him that you married him for his love not for his pay-check ( although a lot will marry for that). and also be a lot loud and clear when you speak to him and if seems not to pay attention appear to be sad'it will attract his attention for sure