my boyfriend loves me and i believe him, but he started dating me not long after his ex dumped him. hes still friends with her. i was told that he still has feelings for her though. what do i do? i dont want to have to live up to her, but i feel like im playing second best.
2006-07-23 07:43:31 · 17 answers · asked by happypguin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to talk to him about it. Funny story because I just dated a girl who had an abusive/controlling ex-boyfriend (they broke up like 4 times over). She and I were really happy together but then out of no where she started feeling guilty and now she's back with him. I know she still misses me and Im letting her go (with zero contact on my part) however she knows it's a bad idea and I know she still misses me. My point is don't stick your neck out too much and be captain rebound of the "second best" squad. Don't let him use you to get back on his feet, although Im not saying this is the case. Just try not to worry about it but make sure you talk to him! Open communication is important! Good luck, and make sure to let him know you love him but don't crowd him/be too needy.
2006-07-23 07:51:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 39⤊ 5⤋
I'm in the position of being the ex. My ex and I are best friends and were before we started dating. We definitely don't want to be in a relationship again, but we still love each other and are affectionate like a brother and sister. We've since dated many other people each, and fallen in love other times. So, it is possible.
But, I guess the one way you can tell... and I know this from experience, is if she is still a BIG part of his life. Like at some times my ex and I were too attached still, and maybe there were some lingering feelings, though we're over that now, but in the times when there were, it was like every story I told was about him, or vice versa. Or just some random fact about me would slip out to his girlfriend at the time and he'd say, "oh but we're just friends". If she is still so much on his mind that he talks about her frequently, wants to still do tons of things with her, and any little thing reminds him of her, then I'd say that's a good sign that he's not over her yet. But, if he genuinely never really speaks of her except as frequently as he does his other friends, then I wouldn't say there's anything to worry about.
2006-07-23 14:53:43 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to him about the situation, and if things get out of hand , break up with him. He is an *** if he still loves his ex!! Show him who's boss and dump him! He will be SOOOOO jealous!!!! Get a new bf and show him off! Good luck!!!
2006-07-23 14:51:20 · answer #3 · answered by lulu 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only reason he got out of the relationship,because he was dumped,but he is still in love with the other girl.If you feel this way tell him and see how this will work out.
2006-07-23 14:56:11 · answer #4 · answered by prettygirl32 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him exactly what his feelings are for her. They may just be good friends is all. If he indeed still has feelings for her, you probably will end up being second best...and who would want to be in that position anyway. Certainly not me.
2006-07-23 14:46:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in a situation like that, he played me, and still talked to her, he was messing with her, & my, emotions. It depends on the guys though, my guy was a total jerk. He said, oh, we're just friends, but still hung around her, & he still had feelings.
2006-07-23 14:46:23 · answer #6 · answered by lissax3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do what feels right for you...in your question you say he loves you and the ex, but you don't say if you love him. do you love him? do you have evidence to prove you shouldn't if you do? do not let yourself feel like second best. just let yourself do what feels right. don't run away without knowing because you'll always wonder...
2006-07-23 14:54:58 · answer #7 · answered by jb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mabye you should tell him that you don't like the fact that he still loves his ex girlfriend and you should break up with him untill he gets over her and then see what happens.
2006-07-23 14:50:31 · answer #8 · answered by Kaya(: 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First make sure jealousy isn't playing games with your imagination.
If he's worth holding on to, hold on. After all he chose you, right?
2006-07-23 14:49:34 · answer #9 · answered by kayboff 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
does his ex have a bf?, then he might be using you to make her jelous?? but find someone better and move on, but tell him your worried about him and his ex,u kno?. well good luck,bye
2006-07-23 14:48:29 · answer #10 · answered by Halley m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dump him. Say you don't want to stand between something this serious.
2006-07-23 14:49:27 · answer #11 · answered by TRAVLER 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋