My aunt just lost her daughter to cancer, how can i comfort her in this time of loss
2006-07-23 06:42:47 · 15 answers · asked by Mark 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just let her know you're there for her. I lost my brother last year to cancer and the thing that drove me more insane than anything else was everyone thought that they should talk to you. And if you apologize once, that's enough don't continue to apologize for their loss. It becomes meaningless.
2006-07-23 06:46:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no way you can comfort her. Words are just that. Be there if you can if she wants to talk, or help her do the things she doesn't feel like doing. The hurt is unbearable, and I know because I lost my daughter to cancer last July 27. No one knows the pain you go through, unless you have been there. I will pray for you and your Aunt.
2006-07-23 14:04:38 · answer #2 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There really is no comforting someone at this terrible time. It would help to know how old was daughter and how old you are. If this was a young adult or child that died and you are similar in age the comforting would be that you stay in touch with her. Dont think that by not mentioning the daughter that it will help. Its worse. In time your memories and stories will be appreciated. Let your aunt know by specific memories of yours what a loving or caring or helpfull or even crabby and selfish the daughter may have been. "Do you remember when ......." Memories are all your aunt will have now and if you help keep them alive, her spirit will always be alive as well. If you visited before when your cousin was alive continue to do so. Ppl tend to be uncomfortable and will tend to stay away leaving your aunt lonely. Dont do that. Remind others not to as well. On the day of her daughters birth start a toy drive or something in her name and donate them to your local shelter or toys for tots program and keep the tradition alive year after year involving the aunt as much as possible. I think that the world forgetting the one that died is the worst fear to the ones that loved them. This will keep her alive in your aunts heart forever.
2006-07-23 13:54:44 · answer #3 · answered by Mom of 7 gramma of 3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not say you understand because unless you have lost a child you can't possibly understand. With that said, ask her what you can do. Just be there. You don't even have to say anything, just be there if you live close. If you don't, e-mail her. Help her find support groups. Do not bring it up unless she does. I don't think you ever get over the loss of a child, just don't let her get lost in the grief. I know you care or you would not have reached out. Good luck!
2006-07-23 13:51:36 · answer #4 · answered by Karen E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother lost his youngest daughter to cancer. It was the most devastating thing to happen to our family. Just be there for her. Simple things like going to lunch. Or just go over to her house so she can talk if she wants. Just be there. Time helps to heal the wound, but things will never be the same again. That's the hardest part to accept.
2006-07-23 13:55:09 · answer #5 · answered by sheeny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her. Let her mourn. Understand losing a child is one of the hardest pains to go through. Its unnatural for a child to die before a parent.
There is an upside here. Cancer took this person. although it was a painful experience for everyone involved, all of her loved ones got to say goodbye. If she had died suddenly alot would have been unsaid
2006-07-23 13:54:03 · answer #6 · answered by yellowstonian 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for you'r aunts loss.Only time will help.I lost my son who was only a few months old about 3 years ago.Try not to talk about it or comfort her in any way.Try to do something that will take her mind off of it.When I lost my son people kept trying to tell me it was O.K. and stuff like that and it only was annoying.
2006-07-23 13:48:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offer to stay with her for the rest of summer vacation. Do chores for her and make her dinners. Be daughter like. advice her to do monthly test to ensure that she doesn't have cancer and if she do it can be taken care of early, and u do the same
2006-07-23 14:02:50 · answer #8 · answered by Alexia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The pain of loosing a child is something every parent never forsees as children usually out live them. The best thing for her to do is to write aletter to them, expressing all the things they had in mind for them, their wishes, hopes and pain then the realtionships complete and a lot of weight will drop of her back. Do it , it works
2006-07-23 13:48:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offer to stay with her for the rest of summer vacation. Do chores for her and make her dinners. Be daughter like.
2006-07-23 13:46:50 · answer #10 · answered by bon sens 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋