My bf is very possessive about me.. we are deeply in love with each other since th past 6 years an we are marrying next year. he has his reasons to believe that i cant be trusted coz i had some very dark skeletons hidden in the closet which i told him at the nascent stages of our relationship. He was complely shaken ...he wanted 2 leave me but i begged him not 2. tht was my past n it wd nevr cme back. he 2 lved me 2 much 2 live without me. we moved on but he was always scared tht i might 4get him wn we got away fm each other. i went 2 sme other place to study n 1 day i lied to him fr goin to a guy friend's bday party. we had th biggest fight of our lives tht day an since then he was so disturbed mentally tht he started taking sleeping pills. he s the nicest guy i know but now he hs developed a split personality.. he gets paranoid wen he remembers th numerous mistakes i ve committed .. i want 2 help himself n myself. an no.. plz dont tell me 2 leave him.He's my life!!
2006-07-23 05:51:18 · 7 answers · asked by sonz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You both need to get some counciling, perhaps as a couple, so that you can move beyond this. If you can't get past it then there might be no way to live happily together. Trust is one of the cornerstones of a good relationship and if it's shattered then how will you be able to love eachother fully?
You need to win his trust and stop keeping things from him because everytime you do, it chips away at that cornerstone and soon the whole relationship will crash.
Good luck.
2006-07-23 05:59:51 · answer #1 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to start being honest. If you love him as much as you say, than there is no reason in the world you should want to hide or keep secrets from him.Six years is a long time and your about to make a commitment to this man for a life time.We all have skeletons but the only way to get rid of them is to be honest and move on.Instead of lying about the party you should have took him with you.A guy likes when he is reminded why he fell in love i the first place, so a good way to make up for your mistakes is to remind him why he feel in love with you in the first place.Or you could plan a day for you to cater to him, that's another way to let him know that things are going to change.I hope what I said help, good luck and congratulations on your engagement
2006-07-23 06:16:13 · answer #2 · answered by Shauntay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not gonna tell you to leave him, I just wanna tell you you're lucky he hasn't put you out yet. Sorry to say so.
Appearantly he's got issues, as well as you do. There must be a cause for his possessiveness. On the other hand: you're not helping that by lying to him either...
Communication is the operative word here though: you are going to have to talk to him. Not just about what went wrong, where and why, but also what's keeping him busy, how he feels about you, what he thinks your relationship will be like in 5 years or so. And what he thinks he'll be doing in 5 years, as far as work goes.
If all goes wrong you may wanna get a counselor, in order to prevent communication breaking down completely and you ending up loosing him.
Good luck.
2006-07-23 06:06:17 · answer #3 · answered by pete_can_do 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is an previous affirming, "in case you want to have a pal, you would possibly want to first be a pal". would not sound like your pastime is doing you any solid, and no matter if it is your attitude that you spend all day mendacity to human beings, then you fairly see your self in others, you spend all day being that way, so that you assume a similar from others, and also you're probable gravitating to others with a similar features you've. you gained't locate believe in others in case you proceed on the path you're on, how can someone who's untrustworthy assume to charm to those who're? For that remember, how can someone who's untrustworthy assume others to believe them? you want others to be straightforward with you, even as you nevertheless con and decieve them? would not sound very honest to me, in case you want others to regulate you in believe and fairness, then domesticate the features you want human beings round you to have, feels like you want them to furnish you something you does no longer provide your self. in case you want it or no longer, the universe is handing you a lesson you do not favor to study, and providing you with a good look at your self and how you manage others, and a existence of behaving that way is beginning to go away a mark on you.
2016-10-15 03:03:34 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try talking to him if it doesn't works ..try convincing him in a physical way...but don't go further..men feel the trust the physical way..
2006-07-23 05:56:36 · answer #5 · answered by anusha s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go get counseling and some kind of anti depressants. sounds like you both need them.
and please, next time use spell check. it was so hard reading all the way through this.
2006-07-23 05:56:44 · answer #6 · answered by ziggunerin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know i really would go after him if u lov him that much! but if its not gonna happen let go
2006-07-23 05:56:48 · answer #7 · answered by lol 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋