She was far too young to have a baby anyway. But she lost it and now she is devasted. Secretly I'm glad she lost her baby, but what can I do to make her feel better?
2006-07-23 04:35:35 · 21 answers · asked by Dallas Mom 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Make her feel like her baby was important. Even if the loss is best for her, she won't see it that way. If she was far enough along to know the baby's gender, name the baby and have a little ceremony. Even if she wasn't, do something to show your daughter that her baby's life had meaning. Maybe release a balloon or buy a stuffed toy to remember the baby. Remind her that there is a plan for everyone and when her time comes, she'll be a great mom. Just avoid the phrase "It's for the best". I was 30 years old and married when I lost twins who were not developing normally. I can't believe how often I heard "It's for the best" or "they would have been deformed". I don't care what the circumstances, losing a baby is never for the best. Make sure you correct others who might say that to your daughter. It will show her you really care about her feelings.
2006-07-23 05:12:44 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer L 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Tell your daughter that her baby is in heaven a far better place than the world we live in and that she will she the baby when she passes on. She will have many more chances to bring a baby into the world and that God brought her baby home early like he did with Selena.
Remember she might not fully get over this and might cry for no reason or easily for the rest of her life, similar to the reaction a woman has through her life after an aborition, even though she did not have an abortion she still lost her potential child early.
2006-07-23 11:38:54 · answer #2 · answered by boxing_fan_4_wlad 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her some time and space, hon. I know this is hard for you and for her. But grieving is a process we all have to go through.
There's a preacher in Houston, Texas, Joel Osteen that can help her start thinking in the right direction. He's sorta motivational.
I lost my husband not long ago, and through Joel have learned that I have to put the past in the past and pick up and go on. It isn't easy, I live in the same town, see the same places we have frequented. But God has aplan for us all.
It is a form of self pity, because what we grieve for is gone, and has no feelings. We do. However, if she had memories of the baby, in other words had the baby survived and been born, it would have been ten times harder for her to let go. So, in a strange way, she is lucky.
Also, sometimes when this happens it is because the baby was malformed to start with and would have brought a huge burden on the mother. So, it is a blessing.
Go with God, and turn to him in this time. Realize that he is there for you, no matter what.
God Bless you and yours
2006-07-23 11:44:15 · answer #3 · answered by rpjhestand 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her time to grieve this. A miscarriage can be very devastating. If she is allowed to grieve this properly, she will heal and move on. People tend to view a miscarriage, as a mistake that mother nature made and lessens the hurt value because it was in the nesting process. But depending on the Mother, it can actually be heart breaking, to lose your unborn child, for any reason. As a Mother, the moment you find out your pregnant, the instincts start kicking in. And to actually feel life inside you and not be able to complete the process and give birth, is like running someone off the road on a long expected journey. Patience's, understanding and time, will see your Daughter thru this very painful ordeal.
2006-07-23 11:45:44 · answer #4 · answered by smplyme132 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her. Her hormones are going to affect her mood for a little while so be prepared. Be the loving and supportive mom that she needs right now. Encourage her to start birth control when she has calmed down from this loss. I can understand how you are glad she lost the baby as she is not ready to have a baby, but you must keep that to yourself. Perhaps when she is much older and has children later in life you can share your feelings with her then of how you felt now, but I would tread carefully.
2006-07-23 11:42:51 · answer #5 · answered by Dino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get her a diary and a pen. Tell her to write letters to her baby. By keeping the baby in her mind and heart, the spirit of the child will always be with her. When she's older and has other children, she can show them the diary and share their oldest sibling with them.
Be present and supportive. You can't 'make' her 'feel' anything; she needs to get there herself. Part of the depression is hormonal. It'll pass once her hormones are back to normal.
2006-07-23 11:42:26 · answer #6 · answered by ninusharra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try stay by her side throughout the whole situation and dont make any smart comments regarding how old she was and the baby. try taking her out to her favorite place or just have a ladies day out with the two of you. she should feel a lot better after that and if she doesnt, just let her vent.
2006-07-23 11:39:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi i have lost 7 babies all i can say is just to be there for her if she needs to talk to any 1 its very hard 4 her right now but she will get over it it just takes time.
2006-07-23 11:41:13 · answer #8 · answered by shiv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea. She is 10 years old so she probably isn't even ready for those feelings to begin with. I would take her to a psychologist if it were me. My mom took me to a shrink when I was 12 and started insisting on having a boyfriend. Good luck, seriously. Good luck to you.
2006-07-23 12:00:14 · answer #9 · answered by NoWayOut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to keep her damn legs closed. What kind of parent needs to ask strangers about making her own daughter feel better. Use some common sense. Sheesh!
2006-07-23 11:43:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋