She was far too young to be pregnant and it would have made her life harder, and ruined the rest of her childhood. My daughter is devastated about losing her baby, and I act like I'm sorry fer her, but secretly I'm relieved. On the other hand, the baby will never have a chance at life now because of this.
2006-07-23 04:34:24 · 24 answers · asked by Dallas Mom 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
A very good friend of mine just went through the same thing. When she told me how happy she was about it, I was shocked at first. But after she explained that her daughter had been on drugs and couldn't even pay her bills, I understood.
If you know for a fact that the child would not have had a good life, don't feel guilty. There's nothing worse than to bring a child into this world and not be able to care for him/her, and give him/her what they need.
I agree with you, your daughter needs to be a child for as long as she can. A baby would change her life in every aspect. But, they don't think of it like that.
Don't worry, she'll get over it, and hopefully realize that she has her whole life in front of her, and plenty of time for babies when she grows up.
Don't feel guilty ! If she had given birth, guess who would have ended up actually raising the child? YOU! Right?
You're still raising one ( her ), and you obviously don't need another one right now.
Good luck with everything, but please get over the guilt. It wasn't your fault.
2006-07-23 04:50:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No I do not think it is wrong to be relieved that happened, but understand that your daughter is devastated as most mothers would be. Support her, give her lots of love in her time of need. Depending on her age and if she is still under your care, get her on birth control asap. If she is on her own, recommend it. Try to get her to a doctor to find out why the baby miscarried, if it was mostly because of age, that is another person on your side about her being too young. There could be many reasons why the baby did not come to term and it is best to find out now.
2006-07-23 11:41:58 · answer #2 · answered by redhotboxsoxfan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These things happen for a reason. I think its ok for you to be relieved. But if your young daughter is that upset about losing a baby she was ill-prepared to have, that sounds like a cause for concern....at least one appointment with a counselor of some sort would probably be a wise idea. Having a professional stress to her why this may have been a "blessing in disguise" may be the best way to prevent it from happening again.
2006-07-23 11:43:53 · answer #3 · answered by Elaine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think you're wrong. you don't say how old your daughter is, but if she's young, then it definitely would have made her life difficult, and probably yours too, as you'd probably end up looking after the baby more often than not while she finished school, etc. Just hope that she doesn't go out and try to get pregnant again now to make up for the lost one. You should get her into counselling to make sure she is a little smarter next time around.
2006-07-23 11:38:40 · answer #4 · answered by Catherine n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's wrong.
When I was in HS my brother (who is 1 year younger than me) got a girl pregnant.
When she lost that baby at 6 weeks term my mother and I were very relieved. I didn't feel guilty about it. That would have ruined all of their lives, including the wasn't meant to be baby!!!
Now--- I read that she is 10 years old.... that's so sad. I wish you nothing but the best. I'll be praying for you guys.
2006-07-23 11:49:14 · answer #5 · answered by NoWayOut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not believe it is "wrong" to be relieved but as the other poster said, keep it to yourself. No need to "act" like your sorry. I'm sure this is very scary and saddening. Listen to her and just be there for her. This is about her, not you right now, mom. Try to refrain from pushing your agenda i.e. your too young, it would ruin your future, etc. It could cause resentment that could last a lifetime. HTH
2006-07-23 11:46:20 · answer #6 · answered by Becky H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Miscarriage is often the bodies way of dealing with a bad pregnancy, an embryo with serious defects sometimes unseen, so it may have been the best thing that could have happened. Your feelings are justified, but so are your daughters. Be there for her to help her through this, just think how it would have felt if it had been your pregnancy.
2006-07-23 11:41:09 · answer #7 · answered by Susan O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Dallas Mom I think you had something to do with this. You probably put something in her drink or food, and now you are happy it worked, because you don't want your neighbors and family to think you are a bad mother cause your daughter got pregnant at a young age.
So stop being FAKE!
By the way how old was she?
2006-07-23 19:29:31 · answer #8 · answered by 2Hott2Touch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a tad harsh to be relieved. Granted, it may have been the best thing for her since she is too young to be a mother. If I were we you, I would never let on to your daughter how relieved you are about the miscarriage. Right now you need to be consoling her and getting her counseling if needs be. Miscarriages are devestating to the woman it happens to and she is going to need your full support right now.
2006-07-23 11:40:25 · answer #9 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We feel what we feel. To demean someone of their feelings, is to deny them respect. You based your feelings on wanting your child, only, the best things that life can offer her. As a Mother you are doing your job. To have forced her to terminate her pregnancy would of been wrong. But to be relieved because it terminated naturally, is your blessing, but still her loss. As the parent, you support her feelings, and continue to take care of her. She is going to need alot of extra love for awhile. This first year, keep in mind, she will constantly be reminded frequently about this, so be prepared to keep in mind her emotional health.
2006-07-23 12:00:46 · answer #10 · answered by smplyme132 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋