what do i do when my mom just got a boyfriend??

Question

i have been crying and crying. she has had to divorces and now she gets another boyfriend...it destroys me. she told me she was gonna say no and she lied...

Answer 1

aw hun..it is hard when there is divorce..but your mum does have to start again! Just talk with her so you can understand each other and schedule in some special time together...stay happy hun

Answer 2

how old are you?

Your mom does have the right to have a mature loving relationship with another person. But she also has a responsibility to consider your feelings about things.

What about her having a boyfriend upsets you? Your mom and dad aren't going to get back together, as much as you might like that. You should realize that.

would talking to a therapist or counselor help you? Tell your mom you want to see a therapist.

I wish your mom would be more discreet, and not see her boyfriends when you are around. At least until she's sure she wants to be with him permanently.

And just because your mom is dating some guy doesn't mean she loves you any less. She just has needs that she is trying to fill with this guy. It's supposed to make her a better parent. Or something.

Answer 3

First - realize your mother is a human being who makes mistakes. Your mother still loves you - she just wants a companion because at times she feels lonely. Your best bet is to hope your mother finds a boyfriend she can have a great relationship with. Offer to "help" your mom find a boyfriend by screening them - maybe getting involved in the process will be good for both you and your mom. For right now though, just sit tight and hope things work out for her. I know this is hard and you don't want to go through the same thing over and over again. I don't know if your mother really lied - she just probably was hoping for the best and it didn't work out.

Answer 4

As a mom I know we do things the opposite of what we are saying at the time. I am sure your mom didn't mean it as a lie at the time she said it she was probably fed up with men and now she has decided that she needs something more than work and kids. That in no way means that she doesn't love you. Parents aren't perfect and my 14 year old would tell you I have made plenty of mistakes. Just go and talk to your mom and let her know how you feel, but try to hold off the tears as that makes us feel even worse and we get on the defensive then. Your mom needs to know what you think and feel and to know that you love her faults and all.

Answer 5

How old are you? If you're in your teens - get on with your life - you'll be leaving home soon and your mother has a right to make a life for herself.

I don't want to be mean. Did something happen with the last 2 boyfriends to hurt you? Is that why you sound so traumatised by the thought of another man coming into your life?

I'm sorry, there just isn't enough information here to advise you.

Answer 6

You need to be strong for yourself.

The boyfriend may be good for all of you, or may not be. Only time will tell that.

However, you should not let the situation take control of your life. Rather you should find you inner strength, and do all within your power to keep your own life on a positive level.

I'd strongly suggest you speak with a guidance counselor and/or minister and/or local mental health clinic for some advice on how to cope.

Important Note: If the BF behaves improperly in any way, don't be afraid to report him to the authorities or any of the above.

Good Luck.

Answer 7

Look Whitney it's understanable how you feel. The problem is that you have to learn to accept the fact that your mother is a selfish whore. The best you can do is not be like her. I recommend reading Dr. Lauras' Bad Childhood Good Life. Some guy before me wrote that your mom shouldn't just live for you and she has her own life. Don't listen to him, he is a fat homo--can't trust those guys; they are gay and fat for a reason.

Some people have written that maybe your mom is lonely and she every right to be a with a man and maybe this man your mom is dating is different....blah, blah, blah. You know as well as I know this man is no different than the other trash your mom has brought home in the past. How can someone unhealthy meet someone healthy. Just don't be like your mom! Don't do this for yourself do this for humanity, we need you to be sane.

Answer 8

I know exactly how you feel. My mother has a boyfriend also, and has been divorced twice.She completely forgets about me and is always so worried about him. But I look at it like this, If it isn't causing any harm to you, then let it go. Let her live her life like she wants. You live your sugie. Do what I do, I'm 19 and I stay in my bedroom all the time. I go out on dates or whatever. But I do not get into her business. But sugie, I honestly do know how you feel, and I understand all the confusion you are having.

Answer 9

Well you see the bad thing is , when a parent desides to do something the hole familt pays for it. My child has had 7 live in boyfriends. Each one telling my grand kids what to do like there father. Wheather they were good or bad , made my child no differance. So I am very sory for you. Widh I could help. But the truth is what your mother desides for her , is what is desided for you, and you have no say. All you can do is try to talk to your mother and tell her how you feel. Pray a lot.

Answer 10

There's more to your mom than just being your mother - she's a woman with the need for companionship, just like everyone else. Why doesn't your mom deserve a chance at happiness?

Answer 11

first...just try him out for a week or two...if you dont like him...sit down with your mom and explain why u wouldnt want him as family...and hopfully she is going to understand and stop the relationship..but remember somtimes people need emotinal support after a couple of divorces...