If you just found out?

Question

If just found u had a lil sis age13 about six months ago from ur dad who is dead but u hated. Would u call every one in a while. just found my older brother in January and its July we haven't met yet. I know i am only 13 but i've always a older brother to look up to.To protect from boys and be the father figure i neva had. I didn't ask him for anything. But it breaks my heart to know he doesn't even want to try to get to know me. Even if he hates our dad he doesn't have to hate me.Heck he even got to know our dad but our dad died when i was only 13 months old. Every time i think about it, i wished i neva found him in the first place. He's 37 now

Answer 1

Send a copy of the letter you posted to him.

Answer 2

That is a really tough question to answer. You are in a very tough spot right now. If your brother didn't know about you before January, I think you need to give him time to come to terms with the fact that he has another sibling. He may come around and he may not. He could be dealing with the thought that he was betrayed by your father and in doing so, he's taking that out on you. He may have hated your father, but deep down inside him, there is still the need for him father's love and approval.
If he never accepts you, that's his loss. Don't let someone else's anger define who you are. You could try sending him letters every now and then just to update him on what's going on in your life. Maybe after a while, he will come to accept you and make contact with you. Again, if he chooses not to accept you, then the fault lies with him.

Answer 3

He doesn't hates you, he is effected by the lost of your father and all that has happened, maybe he needs time. I know what are you feeling now, I saw my father only 4 times in my live and he has other children but I never seen them in my life. But it doesn't hurt me, because I'm used to it and you should be to, stand up continue your life, be happy and it's not your fault that you are in this situation. I'm very sorry about your father, he must have been a good one (maybe better than mine) but at least your mother is with you. You are now 13 years old, mature enough to be strong. Live your life and don't be sad, life is indeed sometimes cruel, but you have a lot to be happy. So smile and be a good daughter for your mom and for your dad. OK? Don't let your brother's altitude effects you. Be happy that you have a life you enjoy.

Answer 4

Give it time. If you just found out then he just found out and it takes time for all of this to settle in. He might have known your dad but there was a lot of hurt there and seeing you and being in your life would be a reminder of that. Men are different and don't deal with feelings as well. Maybe send him a note telling him that you want to gt to know him as a person and that you aren't expecting anything from him nor do you want to interupt his life. Let him no that you can understand his having bad feelings about your father but you are not your dad.

Answer 5

Life sometimes really sucks. I am sorry you had to go thru all of that.
But listen if you want to get to know them express your feelings very strongly. Maybe you could figure out what happened and why things have turned out the way they are. You should at least try to talk to your sister. At least if you try then you have done the best you can in case something happens in the future.
As for your brother who is 37, he probable has his own family now and does not want to mix things up. I know that sound like a load of crap but I know a couple of people who have found family they did not know they had and they decided it would be best to leave things alone to keep their own balance.

Just remember that they may not be as eager to be with you as you are to be with them. With different moms you do not know what they have been told all of their lives. None of what happened is your fault or the other children's but sometimes life itself just gets in the way.
BEST OF LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

It's of course not your fault that you are the daughter of that same father whom your brother hates. There may be any justified reason for your brother to hate his (and your) father. But there is simply no justification for this. Especially when the father is dead, it becomes his responsibility to take care of his younger sister. I'd say it's not actually hatred that's at work here. Your brother just doesn't want to shoulder your responsibility. Believe me, it's better not to have relations with such spineless people in the world. You just came to know about him in January, isn't it? Forget about him. Continue with your life. Stand in your own light. One day, he will repent having lost such an illustrious sister himself. And even if he doesn't, it is no matter. Better, much better people will come into your life.
Best of luck.

Answer 7

What is the purpose of locating these "relatives?" How sure are you that they are your brother and sister? Do you have DNA proof or just word of mouth from someone with an emotional reason for telling you that these people are related to you?

You have to accept that the siblings may not feel the same as you feel and accept that.

Until you truly understand why you want to find and know your siblings, you are not going to rest easy. Get to know yourself and what you need first, then approach them. And again, they may not want that attachment. Let them go if they don't.

Good luck.

Answer 8

dont give up on him yet. think about how hard this has been on you. Its just as hard on him. Keep dropping him a few emails and phone calls now and then and give him time to warm up to the issue. Sometimes you have to get over the pain the parent caused you before you can deal with the rest of the family. When my dad died our family had been broken up for about 6 yrs and i couldnt stand my sister or brother espically if they talked about him. I hated them for being his children too. the pain that he had caused us seemed personal to me and i didnt want to share that with anybody bc it was all i had left of him. So try to stick to things pertaining to your life and leave your dad out of your attempts to have a relationship with your brother untill he has a chance to work things out in his head and heart

Answer 9

Your situation sounds tough and it's terrible but people get angry and that get irrational. That your brother doesn't want to meet you probably has little to do with you and more to do with anger against his father and fear. You're a hard thing for him to accept and he might need time or he may never be ready and you need to be okay with that. I'm so sorry that you're going through this but I'll advise you to take a deep breath and dig deep to find happiness within yourself. Good luck.

Answer 10

Try writing him every once in a while about how your doing in school, what sports you like, what your friends are like. It is probably a shock to him that he has a little sister and doen't know what to do either. Don't mention Dad too much or at all, and just let him know that you would like to get to know him for himself. Maybe he will come around.

Answer 11

My daughters went through the same thing. They found their half siste and what a mistake. She turned out to be a ***** in the worst way. Their life has been a nightmare since day 1.

Hopefully your situtation will be different. Good Luck