What is your favourite joke?

Answer 1

Have to read this one aloud to get it

What did Helen Keller name her cat?

"MMMhHHHHWWTTTREWAAA"

Answer 2

A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'' She calls on little Johnny.
''None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.''
The teacher replies, ''The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'' Then Little Johnny says, ''I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?''
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, ''Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.''

Answer 3

Little Johnny comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then said "I'll show you the difference.
Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned." Johnny puzzled a bit however raised the question to mother. His mother looks around slyly and said "Don't tell your father, but, yes, I would."
Then he goes to his sister's room and asks her as well the question. His sister looks up and says, "Definitely!" Then he went back to father and said, "Dad, I think I've figured it
out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we are living with a couple of whores."

Answer 4

None, all good jokes deserve a 10 out of 10 ;)

Answer 5

Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning.

He told Bush that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq.

To everyone's amazement, all of the color ran from Bush's face.

Then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost whimpering.

Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld,
"Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"

Answer 6

Paddy & Murphy are in the pub supping on a pint of guinness when paddy says to murphy,"Murphy, I saw this gravestone at the side of the road today, a hundred & three this fellow was," be jesus" says Murphy. Murphy sits there with a puzzled look upon his face before asking, "what was this fellows name paddy," Paddy replies,"Miles, Miles from Dublin"

Answer 7

The Nun teaching church school was speaking to
her class one Sunday morning and she asked the question,
"When you die and go to heaven... which part of your body goes first?"

Mary raised her hand and said, "I think it's
your hands."

"Why do you think it's your hands"? Mary
replied, "...Because when you pray, you hold
your hands together in front of you and God
just takes your hands first!"

"Oh what a wonderful answer!" the Nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your legs."

The Nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.
"Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your legs?"

Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and
Daddy's bedroom the other night, Mommy had her
legs straight up in the air and she was screaming,
"O God, I'm coming!"
If Daddy hadn't had her pinned down, we'd have lost her."

The Nun fainted.

Answer 8

no one has a favourite joke cause they all ready heard a bunch of time!

Answer 9

Did you hear about the day when Yahoo Mail worked all day without a failure?
Oh sorry - that's no joke

Answer 10

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other "Do you know how to drive this?"
Two parrots sat on a perch, one says to the other "Can you smell fish?"
Two cannibals eating a clown, one says to the other "Does this taste funny?"
How do you confuse an Irish man? Put three spades against the wall and tell him to take his pick!

Answer 11

the one that makes me laugh!

mosly the yo mama ones
yo mama so old when she farts dust comes out
yo mama so ugly when she was born her mama said what a treasure and her dad said yes lets go bury it!
yo mama so fat you have to take 2 buses and a train to get on her good side.
yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
yo mama so poor i saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing she said movin.

or this one
blond joke anyone?
a blond woman gets pulled over by a blond cop.
blond cop> can i see your licence please?
blond driver>whats that?
blond cop> its a retanangular thing that you can see you self in.
the blond driver pulls out a mirror and passes it to the cop.
blond driver>you mean this?
blond cop> yep ...
sorry didnt relise you were cop! go on ahead!

or this?
theres an american,frencman and englishman.
these people say to them 'go into the forest and get 10 of the same fruit each!'
so the american comes back with 10 apples and they say 'okay shove those 10 apples up your *** without making any facail expression or we'll kill you'
so the american pops up in heaven screaming 'owww!'
the frenchman walks in with 10 berrys and the people say ''okay shove those 10 apples up your *** without making any facail expression or we'll kill you'
so he pops up in heaven laughing his head off.
the american asked him 'why are you laughing you could've easily done it and lived!'
so he answers 'because i saw the englishman walk in with ten pineapples!'