I have been dating this married man for about a month now. when I first met him he said that he was married and in the middle of a divorce. then he said that he still lives with her for his son and now his son is at the age that he is ready to move out. and go through with the divorce. how do I know for sure if he is for real. we have gotten very close in this sort time. and it's not really about sex with us. how can I tell if he really plan to leave. and how long should I waite. I am not the other woman type. and I wouldnt want some other woman dateing my husband.
2006-07-23 03:45:32 · 49 answers · asked by sweetserienty30 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is incredible how many people seem to be attracted to those who are already attached. It is almost because they are attached that many people are interested in them in the first place!
However dating someone who is attached is bad news and something that you should not do. Here's why:
If you really like them, then you will get frustrated that they can never commit too much time to you
They are clearly unethical as it is not fair to date someone else when you have a partner
A leopard doesn't change its spots: even if by some miracle they do move on to you then you know what they are capable of and therefore trust will always be an issue to you.
Too many people spend time fulfilling the fantasies of someone else who thinks it is great to have two or more partners in the hopeless thought that they can change them, when really that person is just having their cake and eating it.
Dating someone who is married or going out with someone else also shows a lack of respect for yourself - you should deserve and feel you deserve someone who can commit all their time to you and is only interested in you.
Remember this if you ever get tempted to get involved in a complicated relationship like this!
Hope this helps~
2006-07-24 09:34:46 · answer #1 · answered by Bon Bon 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If he lied right from the first date, then you CAN'T trust him. Period. And if you think he will ever be faithful to you, look at his family. If he is cheating on his wife, he will probably get bored with you, IF he ever leaves her for you (which I highly doubt, because of all the women I know in "relationships" like yours, the men still haven't left their wives for ANY of these women).
I don't understand what it is about this man that makes you feel so special. Married men belong to other women, even if they are unhappy. I would never stay with a married man once I found out he was married, because he needs to get that divorce finalized before he steps out. What he is doing is just rude to both you and his wife. And as to how long you should wait, get out now. If you really think you have a future with him, tell him to look you up with his divorce is final (and if I were you, I'd ask to see the certificate!).
2006-07-23 03:54:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would cut things off til he had papers, right now you are the other woman that is breaking a family up, no matter what he tells you. See you are influencing his decisions, whether or not you know it, you are. If he is to leave her he needs to leave completely on his own. This way when you and him do come together then it will be by his own decision, not someone that would just sleep with him knowing he was married still. People do have a change of heart, he may have one and then who will be left standing alone, you will. Good luck.
2006-07-23 03:54:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well to start he might not be the best in the world if he started lying to you from the start, but if you are getting close and his son is old enough to leave then just tell him flat out that you love him and this is not the way you want it and give him a set amount of time to move out and start the divorce and you want to see the papers. If he was going to leave then he will do it and if he was leading you along he won't. Good luck.
2006-07-23 03:53:06 · answer #4 · answered by Martha S 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This is just my opinion, but you have been had. If he can't be honest about his prior relationship, he probably will not be leaving for you when he does leave. If he is getting a divorce, you are his anchor person until he is firmly on his own. At that time, he will probably dump you. He may not respect the fact you are willing to be so close with a married man and may not trust you can be faithful in marriage . . . sounds odd since he is the one who can't be honest. Odd are high he has already decided you are not who he wants when he has his walking papers. At any rate, you are being strung along since you want to believe him so much.
Sorry, I hope you can get out of this and move on quickly.
2006-07-23 03:52:10 · answer #5 · answered by whozethere 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you answered your own question.
"I am not the other woman type. and I wouldnt want some other woman dateing my husband."
It is honorable that he is committed to his son, but seriously, how committed can he be to you if he isn't committed to his son's mother at the same time?
If he isn't willing to leave, you should. Being tied up in a love triangle isn't good for any of the involved parties. There are going to be TWO hurt people, you and his wife. Three, if you count his son.
2006-07-23 03:58:45 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
as of right now you are the other woman. A man is always going to tell a woman what they want to hear. If that man hasn't left his wife by now he's not going to leave her especially if they have a child together because if the simple fact he has to worry about child support and other finance now a days most men found out its cheaper to stay with the wife then to get a divorce.he just want his cake and eat it too.
2006-07-23 03:52:33 · answer #7 · answered by beebe 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know plenty of second wives who were involved with their husbands when they were going through divorce. Men aren't as strong as women and they sometimes need to be able to see a better alternative before they will get their act together and get out. The people who are being abusive to you here are likely to be first wives who neglected their husbands and then were bitterly surprised when their husband moved on to someone who made him happy. Talk to him. Ask him to set some goals within a time frame that you can agree to, and if he doesn't stick to your agreement, realise that he is just a sad serial adulterer and walk away...but...he might not be and it sounds like that's worth finding out.
2006-07-23 04:27:35 · answer #8 · answered by Kitty 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
YOU ARE THE OTHER WOMAN... a cheap little bit of sex on the side..a home wrecker...are you thick or what? Women like you should be shot. And men like that should be strung up by the balls, and his neglected wife should get a makeover, a day at a spa and a $1000 gift voucher for new clothes and shoes.
And YOU should repay every cent the bastard has spent on you back to the wife where it belongs. Get your own life you little cow!
2006-07-23 04:15:42 · answer #9 · answered by Snowey 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
don't believe him not unless he shows you the divorce papers. you said you are not the other woman type... you are not 100% sure of this guy's authenticity. you're not even close to 50%. the odds are, you are more on the loosing end.
if he shows you their divorce papers... that, girl, is an assurance. but without it, he still is married to the real lady. and where would you be...? IN THE SIDELINES!
believe me... i have been using that "divorce my wife..." line for so many years. and it does work!!!
give yourself a break, lady... just enjoy and don't expect too much. he might be telling the truth, but who would really know?...
2006-07-23 03:55:45 · answer #10 · answered by Ross 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋