supposedly it only happened once. he apologized, begged me not to leave and cried with me. he swore that he was trying to change, he started going to church every week and he makes sure that i always know where he is and that i can always get in touch with him. he does seem genuinely sorry while i am still struggling to understand why it happened. at the same time i just could not leave but i don't want to look stupid. am i?
2006-07-23 03:41:47 · 22 answers · asked by cirnek73 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is something that only you know the right answer too. Some people will tell you to leave but thats because they chose to stay in relationships that they knew weren't worth it and that person continued to hurt them. Only you know how sincere he is or isnt being. Only you know if you can get through it. I was in a similar situation and I prayed and prayed and prayed. I got my answer and I stayed with him and he hasnt done anything to hurt me. I know some of my friends think I am a fool but I am confident in us and we made it through with lots of help from church and faith. Dont worry about looking stupid. Do what u feel is best for you and dont worry about what others think. How long have you been together? If its just some guy you have just started dating I would say maybe it will be ok to let it go, but if you have invested years with this person and its an honest mistake...try and work it out if thats what you want. I know how hard it is to just understand why because he will probably never tell you because he mostly likely doesnt know why. So you may bever understand it and thats going to be hard to deal with. If you want to stay I would say take it slowly, one day at a time. Dont rush back to where u were before this and if he cant agree to slow it down then you know he isnt serious. I wish you the best of luck. Dont listen to other people, listen to your heart. You know the answer, its just probably hard to hear right now.
2006-07-23 04:02:45 · answer #1 · answered by lily 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, you should at least leave for a while. For your own sake, and to see what he does. If there is no consequence, it will seem like you'll forgive again. I went through this. He cheated the first time, promised the same things. Cheated the second time, promised the same things. It was always some random girl and never an "affair," but still he had a problem. Eventually I learned that the number of times was more in the tens or maybe even 20s (I'll never know). But I have learned, and I know how hard this is, that if they cheat, you have to walk. You have to have enough faith in yourself that a man who loves you would only want you, and that's the way it should be.
2006-07-23 10:46:51 · answer #2 · answered by ack 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not stupid you are in love. We all make mistakes and we all deserve a second chance and it sounds like he is really trying to regain your trust. However I know from experience that if you let other people into it you will stay in turmoil and have conflicting emotions. If he starts going back to giving you a reason to doubt him then it would be a little different. You will never forget the fact that he cheated and in the back of your mind you will wonder but as long as he is with you or you know where he is at give him a chance if you love him, but protect yourself and don't ignore it. Cheating is a sign that something is either wrong or the one who cheated wants something more so try talking to him and have him explain why he felt he had to go to someone else and really listen and have him listen as you explain that although you love him and are willing to try it is going to take a lot to regain the trust he lost.............Good luck
2006-07-23 10:49:34 · answer #3 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not true that he will cheat again. It also depends on how long you have been together. Don't leave because somebody told you to here, and don't stay for the same reason. Follow your own heart. If you really love him, go to counseling together. If he's willing to do that, the relationship is worth saving.
2006-07-23 10:46:20 · answer #4 · answered by Velociraptor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nah...i stayed with by bf when he cheated on me once...he cried and begged and tried to change to. although, it depends on the situation. my bf was drunk and just kissed someone else. its tough, and you have a very good reason to leave-- its up to you and if you can handle it. my bf and i have been together for 3 years..and in all honesty, although hes changed and never cheated, there has been some questionable behavior on his part. he's hanging by a string in my mind...it seems like they can try to change but for some reason they just dont. but all guys are different. you wouldn't be stupid for giving him another chance.
2006-07-23 10:47:59 · answer #5 · answered by sugar56 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you need to decide what the relationship means to you. I mean is this "the one?" If you aren't thinking long term here, don't sweat it too much. Especially since he is obviously going to such lengths to prove his new found commitment to you.
However, if you could see yourself with this guy 'down the road,' you both need to delve into his infidelity and find out the root of his cheating.
Why did he do it? What did she mean to him? What do you mean to him? Is he thinking long term with you?
Having been through exactly what you are going through already, I know you have to answer your own questions about your commitment to the relationship, first. If you aren't thinking about long term, best bets are, neither is he and you really need to move on.
Good luck!
2006-07-23 10:48:58 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in ur same situation but some guys do change the guy i was with never did so i had to leave him no matter how much he cried, i would just wait to see if he does it again, if not good, but if he does leave him u desearve better
2006-07-23 10:44:59 · answer #7 · answered by Victoria 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough call that only you can make. If you're still struggling to understand why then perhaps more discussion is in order.
2006-07-23 10:47:17 · answer #8 · answered by nimbleminx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not stupid. Sounds like he really regets what he did and is trying. People make mistakes doesn't make him a bad person. Work on it you'll be fine
2006-07-23 10:48:47 · answer #9 · answered by NEOTEH 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as it may hurt,the old saying, Once a cheater always a cheater is a true statement.
2006-07-23 11:11:35 · answer #10 · answered by Cobra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋