he is a nice guy but frankly, he bores me. he is totally uneducated and earns just enough money to pay his bills with nothing left over for socialising or fun. if we go out or do anything together, it's me who foots the bill every time. i am too embarrased to introduce him to my family. we have been together 4 weeks and he is head over heels in love with me, it seems. he says he will do anything for me so why don't i feel the same way? i just dont think there's a future in it but he wants to continue because he loves being around me. basically i am just messing around with him until someone better comes along. i have told him how i feel but he insists on hanging on as feels i will grow to love him when i realise how committed he is. we come from totally different backgrounds, he has come from poor family where education wasn't encouraged. i'm from more of a middle class area and have studied, worked and achieved quite a lot for myself. i'm not sure how i'm going to end it with him
2006-07-23 02:48:44 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, if you are doing the dumping, then do it like this:
- pick a time when neither of you are stressed
- get some private time where you can be alone together
- explain clearly your reason (I'm sorry but I just think we're drifting apart and it's not working out anymore...)
Be prepared to answer any questions that he asks like 'Is it me?' 'Don't you like me anymore?'
Be kind and gentle in your replies, particularly if he is an emotional or sensitive guy (yes there are some out there!)
Once it's over, be strong - don't be tempted to go back out with him again if you feel a bit miserable in the period whilst you are re-adjusting to being single again.
~hope this helps
2006-07-24 13:19:24 · answer #1 · answered by Bon Bon 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh, for fook's sake! Ever heard of assertiveness? Just sit him down and say : "I know this isn't what you want to hear right now but ... " and by then he'll have made the connection. Do you think you are doing him any favours by allowing him the delusion that he has a future with you? (Hint - the answer to that question is "NO".) The longer you allow him this idiotic fantasy the steeper the downside is for him. It'll hurt him, of course - there is no way it can't, but leaving it until you meet someone else is going to clean the bloody floors with him. The best thing you can do for him is end this lame, one sided relationship before he becomes totally dependent upon you. If he has done that already, well, that's even more reason to put a bullet in it now.
2006-07-23 03:03:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously have some thought for his feelings, which is a good thing. However it is obviously not going to work for you no matter how much time you give it. He has to be told the truth and I doubt he'll take it well. The longer you leave it the harder it will be. If you don't have chemistry and love then there's nothing anyone can do about it. Perhaps you'll know better next time and not allow things to go this far unless you really really want him.
2006-07-23 02:59:18 · answer #3 · answered by xbkw46 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well girl if u have told him how it is then its should be easy. just tell him that u dont feel the way that he does and that u want a man who will treat u out now and then. why should u do everything. he seems sprung on u to fast so what u need to do is end this now. i know ur just messsing with him but u need to drop him now before its gets worst. just tell him nicely and leave him alone. u 2 have nothing in common except probably u like messing around so yeah just be honest with him and tell him. if u still want to mess then that ur choice but i feel u need to end this all and go out and look for someone else or just have fun. this guy to much drama. so good luck
2006-07-23 02:54:29 · answer #4 · answered by SLICK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there isn't a serious risk of him snapping and killing you. I would just tell him its over, that you don't love him, and tell him what the reasons are. If you like him at all, then this will actually help him. If you try to let him down easy, he will obsess about you and never change his ways. By hurting him you can actually force him to fix his problems. Don't be cruel just honest. Maybe his next relationship will be better and he won't make the mistake of joining up with a person like you again.
2006-07-23 02:53:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is difficult after only 4 weeks for him to have the true feeling of being "head over heels in love you". It seems that while he may think that you are great...he also thinks it's great that he can get most of his things paid for by you and therefore doesen't want you to leave. He will do and say things to try to encourage you to stay around. I would suggest leaving him for awhile to see how you feel...and see how committed he really is. If he quickly moves on to someone else who can provide him financially, you will have your answer. Hope this helps!
2006-07-23 02:52:58 · answer #6 · answered by J H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you aren't to any extent further scum for wanting someone with whom you've chemistry. you'd be scum in case you string alongside Mr. Blah even as you observe if the hot courting has skill. Do him a opt for and get although short-time period discomfort the breakup is going to reason him out of ways so he can flow on to someone who'll truly celebrate with him.
2016-10-15 02:57:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just Tell Him Its Over i know its easier said then done and you probably don't wanna hurt his feelings but it is unfair to let him think that your the one and that you two have a future when there is not so tell him and let him move on to find someone else you does love him in return
2006-07-23 03:15:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how could you have a relationship with someone you do not respect(you spoke about his lack of education and earning). Stop misleading the poor chap and telling him like it's , because if you keep playing with his ego he will snap and the results will not be what you expect, good luck.
2006-07-23 05:19:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
look angel...i understand ur problm...see if it is not working now it will never work...it better to put it off...before u spoil his life and urs to...think pratically...i know it will be hard on that person but that the fact he has to accept it and dont worry he wont do anything stupid...u can make some excuse too...and try to avoid contact...and slowly that love will start fading away....and he will realise it him self....but do it slowly so as it not a shock to him...k...now u take care angel...i feel bad for that dude ...even i am a guy...:(
2006-07-23 02:55:17 · answer #10 · answered by ankit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋