okay ........ so heres the deal ....... my mom and i spend practically no time to gether whatsoever ......... i am 15 .......... and i got school stuff goin on right now ......... but she works nights and sleeps during the day ....... she used to wake up sometime around three and we would watch tv and play games and eat dinner ......... but that was like three to four years ago .......... now shes got a new boyfriend and she spends every minute with him ........ for example, yesterday, around 10 am (she worked a little late and visited him a liitle) she got homeand said do you want to go over there with me? i said no, i want to spend time with you, she was off last night. so she said ok, i am gonna go to walgreens and buy some things and come back. so she left, but she never came back, she still isnt back! but i got a call from her this morning saying that she was at his house and that she had a few drinks. I want my mom back! she never drank before! what should i do? any GOOD advice?
2006-07-23 01:32:55 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
well.i think u have some things to do dear.first u have got to prepare a dinner in a good restarant for u and her.for example,tommorow,she wont refuse that[belive me].then u talk to her,tell her about your feelings,all of them.even cry to her.tell her to make a fair time for you and her boyfriends.if that didnt work.then talk to one of your relatives to tell ur mother that she is spending alot of time with her boyfriend and not you.she will listen to them cuz they are as old as them.if that didnt work then talk to her boy friend.tell him that she is spending no time with u.he is an ammature and will understand.he will try to push ur mother away a little.good luck.wish u the best.have a good day
2006-07-23 01:44:25 · answer #1 · answered by Vango 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is tough. Write her a letter and leave it on her pillow. Wait a day to be sure she's read it. This guy is dragging her down and robbing her time. Tell her (after that day) that although you're no longer a baby or a little girl that you still need her. Tell her that you do want her to be happy, but not if that means she is neglecting and forgetting about you. Do you have some friends in the same neighborhood as your Mom's boyfriend? Maybe you could hang around there, but not just there. Sounds like a not so hot relationship she is in... maybe it won't last. Anyhow, darling, please feel encouraged to pray to God. He knows and controls all and can help you know what to say and how to find hope. Bless your heart!
2006-07-23 08:43:33 · answer #2 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her when she's sober and tell her exactly how you feel. Make sure she knows that you're not trying to take her away from her friend, but that you need some time with her too. Yes, you might all do some things together, especially if the relationship is serious and may lead to marriage, but you also need one-on-one time with her.
Remind her that you are 15, so you may not be at home much longer, and the opportunity may soon be gone to spend much time together. She really should appreciate that you are looking for more time with her; lots of girls your age want nothing whatsoever to do with Mom, and their mothers struggle to even know what's going on with their daughters.
Keep in mind, too, that she may be quite aware of your age and worrying about being alone when you get busy with college and your own life. Maybe because of that she's investing so much time in her friend and less in her relationship with you.
The main thing to do is to TALK, openly and honestly. I think you'll both learn that the other is feeling things that you're not aware of.
Best wishes!
2006-07-23 11:35:08 · answer #3 · answered by Miss_M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to have a serious talk with her , tell how much u miss her and u don't like this routine ,,,, blame her for preferring to spent time with her bf than with u ,,, but don't fight with her ,,, just blame with tears if u can that 'll melt her heart
and on the other hand try to be friendly with her bf so that if u want her one day to spend some time alone with u then I'll just call him and excuse him to let her stay this day with u and since u become his friend then he won't say no to u ..
i know that she is Ur mom and u got right on her and u must have the most of her time but she's also a human who can be selfish sometimes but every now and then u try to wake the mother side in her...
take care of urself honey
2006-07-23 08:41:36 · answer #4 · answered by Nicholet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I am so sorry my dear. I think you deserve better and you mum is not aware. Stand up to you mother and tell her how you fill. Make her realise how important it is to you to spent some time with her. If possible, trying contacting 'him' and tell him how you feel. Maybe he will be man enough to talk some sense into you mums. By the way, you are a great kid wanting to spent some time with your mum. Keep well hey and goodluck babie.
2006-07-23 08:42:18 · answer #5 · answered by Njekwa.lulujay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
communication is key. It seems that she is supporting your needs with housing and such. But you will have to let her know that you still need her advise and guidance. Have her help you with your daily problems, get her intrested in what you have going on. Pay attention to her life as well.... Just try to be a part of her life and not try to make her conform to your idea of what she should be doing. She is an adult with the freedoms and resposibilities that come with it. Just remind her that you still need her.
2006-07-23 08:41:25 · answer #6 · answered by SigmundS of Yew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to seriously sit down and talk to MOM. She is probally lonely for a "man" but she does not realize what it is doing to you. Don't be mad, but come up with a solution, for both of you. Set certain times for you and her, no BF, and tell her to stick with it. Like a friend of mine. He dates his lady every two weeks and spends the night over there, but his girls live with him. When they go to their mothers thats when he spends the night with the girlfriend. He sees GF for lunch and a few thru week, but he goes to ballgames with his daughters ONLY, no GF, so they feel they get time with him! Come up with a solution .Sorry and good luck!
2006-07-23 08:40:35 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel. But, really, you're 15. Mom may be gone for good. Get good grades in school, go to college, and learn some non-Internet English. Cheers.
2006-07-23 08:35:55 · answer #8 · answered by angrysandwichguy2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When i was 13 my mum walked out on us, due to problems her and my dad were having, my mum and i were always close, until then, i hated her for weeks, and still dont forgive her for what she did. But if she died i would be lost without her, make sure ur mum knows how you feel, love her always and stand by her, tell your mum you miss her and want her back, and if all else fails, wait for her to come to you!
2006-07-23 08:39:17 · answer #9 · answered by fuzzy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your mom is not in a good company. Get someone around her age to talk to her.
2006-07-23 08:36:29 · answer #10 · answered by Dani 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋