Does getting molested by your father when little affect you?

Question

Do you think that if you are molested by your father when you were a little girl does that affect you later in life? Should you get therapy or just bury it in the deep dark of your mind and not deal with it?

I am 39 now and this happened when I was 8-10 years old.

Answer 1

I know a woman who was molested when she was 15 or so by her dad. She says it was nothing kinky, just regular sex, but even now (she's over 50), she still has issues with self-image. She's a really good friend, and I'll tell her she's great- all the stuff she's done for the community, in her job, with our church, volunteer stuff, etc... and she gets all down on herself. "I don't deserve..."

She hates Mother's Day, too (5 kids, all grown, all "good people"). There's a program at church about how great moms are, all this sweet mushy flowers stuff, and she's not feeling worthy of the appreciation, like she's not good enough. She wasn't particularly sweet-sy with her kids- she was a hard-nose, but it paid off. Her kids are all good honest people.

Sometimes I really think it's because of what happened with her father. She's confident and strong in negative situations- she's very able to verbally defend herself, and her family, but when it comes to taking a compliment, she has such a hard time. She doesn't see the good qualities she has.

I think at least some therapy would help her. She's such a great person, I'd love for her to see how great she is.

Not dealing with something that big can really mess you up. It can affect how you deal with other situations- dating, disappointments, marriage and related intimacy, etc.

Whatever you do- Deal with it, whether alone, through books, therapy, talking to a trusted friend, etc. Work it through.

Come to terms with the fact that your dad may have been great in other areas (work, community, church, etc), but when it came to private family stuff- fidelity to his wife, having a correct relationship with his daugher, respecting those two women- he SUCKED.

HE abused YOU. It never was and never will be your fault. You were just a kid, you didn't ask for it- no matter what he may have said.

How do you feel toward your dad now? Do you love him? respect him? trust him? hate him? fear him? pity him? However you feel, acknowledge it, own it. It's ok to have super-hard feelings toward someone who treated you like that.

Best of luck with this... it's a big thing to work through.

Answer 2

As a human being, one starts learning before they are even born. Study has shown that babies do learn quite a lot especially about human relationships even before they can learn such things as walk, talk and reason. For that reason, some phobias can be correctly traced to events that happened to an eighteen month old baby or even younger. I therefore conclude that events, more so as grave a molestation by a parent, no matter when they occurred will affect the victim somehow and should be dealt with carefully and professionally. I urge the victim to consult with a qualified counselor and be prepared to be put on therapy so as to deal with those wounds. Good luck and may God bless.

Answer 3

it's not easy. i have 3 daughters who have all been violated by close Friends or relatives. alcohol was involved. i didn't nurture them to see the worst happen to them.the thing is :what kind of life do you want to have?there are those who need therapy and it helps, or those who deal with their problems alone.getting your problems out in the open seems to be the best way as it lets everyone knows about the molester and it also en suers that the law can do something to prevent the violator from molesting others,then you can move on for a happy or sad life. others use the bad things in life as an excuse to live a worse life.be happy!

Answer 4

Yes it does effect you, are it will continue to effect you until to get some help dealing with this. I too was once molested by a so called family friend, for years i kept it to myself until one day i broke down and told my parents. Still after that i wasnt able to deal with it fully and i kept pushing it aside and say ' i dont need any help' it wasnt until i had slit my wrists 3 times and almost lost my little girl that i realised i needed help, after getting help i was able to move on with my life, its something you can never forget but with time and work the pain does get better. Please think about getting some help, to start with you may not see the benfits but in a while you will see how much it has helped you!

Answer 5

Of course that would affect you. If this has happened to you I express my deepest regrets and sympathy. This sort of thing is disgusting on so many levels. Get help therapy of some sort since this could have a lasting negative impact on your life as well as prohibit you from ever having a meaningful relationship with someone.

Answer 6

I've never gotten therapy for it and I'm probably going to go kill myself tomorrow.

Just kidding.

It all depends on how an individual who gets molested feels about the situation. Some may need therapy, some may get over it, some may go crazy, some may develop a large tumor on their face.

Answer 7

get help. dont hide yourself, hold ur head up high. it wasnt ur fault and u wernt in the wrong. it was him! take it easy and i dont how ******* fathers can do it but they're really off thier rockers. i am soooo aginst these kind of things. it hurts for the rest of sum1's life. its like a scar.there forever and no matter how hard u try to get rid, its still in the back of ur mind. its horribel and sum ppl might commity suicide or become mentally ill. u dont want that do u nw? just sort it out with therapy and counselling. hope it helps. it wwont remove the scar but can help it heal.

Answer 8

sorry but are you serios?you honestly want to know does being molested affect you in your later life?and then you ask should you bury it deep down?..im sorry..of course it affects you..go get therapy, talk about what happened and learn to deal with it

Answer 9

As far as I have read I feel that it does effect when the indivisual are weak in emotion.There are ppl who said that ..Yes it happened and I wont let it repeat or effect me.. But the other half keep on thinking about it and get depressed. It depends on the indivisual as to what degree it has effected and the nature of molestation.
It is always better to get help from expert before it is too late.

All the best

Answer 10

Yes, i think a shrink would tell you that it would make you distrustful, resentful of men in general and my prevent you from enjoying sex as much as you could. Not to over look destroying your relationship with your father and/or mother. After a horrible thing like that at least an hour or 2 on some body's couch couldn't hurt.