My mother has been a stay in mom and we are all grown up now. Unfortunately she needs my father financially to survive. There is a possibility that she already knows. It isn't the first time.
I love them both very much...
2006-07-23 00:44:10 · 26 answers · asked by Odie 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
don't tell her, tell him. tell him you know and that if he doesn't end it you will tell your mother.
2006-07-23 00:48:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Your mum NEEDS your father? Does this mean that she doesnt love him? She just fears being alone?
Your father does things that he can get away with, if your mum fears being alone she will hide her head in the sand and hope it will all go away.
Your dad is disrespecting your mum, insulting the wedding vows he made and disrespecting you. Love and liking someone are two very different things. If I were you I'd be the strong person in the family and make a stand to your dad, tell him that since he's quite willing to humiliate you and your family like this you dont need him in your life.
See how he reacts. He might realise that he's got too much to lose and decide to fight for both you and your mum. But it might backfire and he might say fine and leave or leave taking your mum with him. Your mum then may realise that she's worth fighting for and stand up on her own two feet.
2006-07-23 08:42:45 · answer #2 · answered by Wicked Top. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its understandable that you love your folks however tread very carefully on this subject because their is alot at risk her . First of all my sympathies are with your mum as she is such a wonderful person having given up so much for you . I always say honesty is the best policy but you need evidence to show your mum that he is having an affair to gain this evidence you need photos of your father being intimately involved with another woman together with evidence of phone calls so you need to play private detective once you have your proof and evidence together then you should tell your mum and make your mum go to a solicitor to get a quick divorce and get out of that marriage.As your mum doesn't deserve to be treated like a door mat by your dad
2006-07-23 07:55:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on your relationship with both. I'd tell my Dad his conduct wasn't a secret and you want to protect your mother. Depends a bit on where you are but if you're in the US your mother SHOULD receive about half the assets in a divorce. ( I say should, because any connection between justice and the decision of a divorce court is purely conincidental.) Your mother may know and be accepting of the situation. That's her prerogative. Tough situation.
2006-07-23 07:52:31 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She already knows... women always know. maybe they both agree on this issue. If they didn't then you'll only hurt your mom, by making her feel bad 4 accepting this situation, that obviously gets to you. Lay back and just observe. Maybe they never had a divorce because they didn't want to break your heart, or who knows why? Talking to your father will clear the sky one way or another.
2006-07-23 08:12:24 · answer #5 · answered by ideal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right she probably knows. Being a Mother myself, I would be embarrassed if my son told me that he knew of his fathers cheating. If you really feel the need to approach her about it, try saying. "Mom, I know Dad has let you down at times and I want you to know that I will always be here for you, just as you are for me". Another thing, It would be a good idea also to tell your Dad that you are aware of his infidelity. Period. You don't have to say another word after that.
2006-07-23 07:57:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. Remind him that he is still an example you you and your children, if and/or when you have any. Remind him that as an example, if he is making poor choices in his life, you cannot have respect for him, and will have to decide is contact with his grandchildren is in their best interest. Harsh, yes, but part of our jobs as humans, as parents, and as sons, is to remind people when they are acting in a stupid manner. Buy him the book, "Ten Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives." You are a man. You became a full adult two years ago, be that adult say what you think.
2006-07-23 07:57:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront your father. Sometimes, hearing how much it hurts their children and teh disappointment that you have towards their actions, is the only way to get him to stop and look at the consequences for his actions.
I'm sorry about your mom but I am sure she already knows. Almost every woman has signs.............and knows.
If you know who the woman is, tell her what it is doing to you and tell her about your mother. That should put a stop to it.
2006-07-23 07:57:51 · answer #8 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She already knows, and not saying or doing anything is her decision.
You could have a conversation with your father, Tell him how you feel about the situation, maybe he does not realize that this is also effecting you.
Remember you are responsible. at this point. to determine your own future. How your parents behave in their relationship does not predetermine the choices you make for your own life,
2006-07-23 07:54:38 · answer #9 · answered by momone92 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of their business. Sometimes spouses are willing to put up with crap for the financial security.
Mom should seek a divorce and take him for half of everything.
2006-07-23 08:15:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, stay out of it. Like you said, she may already know and just be making the choice to stay. Some people stay in relationships for convenience, not love. As sad as that is...
2006-07-23 07:49:17 · answer #11 · answered by THP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋