Why are guys not allowed to cry?

Question

It's been months, if not years coming, but this one little thing set me off and I bawled like a f****g baby for about an hour tonight. I' m 19, and as near as I can tell it was the first time I've cried since I was 8 years old. Considering that, im now wondering, where do we get the idea that "boys don't cry" from, and why?

Answer 1

Well.....if guys are allowed to cry or not varies through history and between different cultures/countries. Generally speaking, guys are supposed to control themselves which is called *being strong* and generates ulcers, heart problems, drug abuse and a higher suicide rate among men than women.

Nearly all cultures have at some time or other exposed young men to physical and emotional pain as part of a manhood initiation and expected them to show they can control their fear, cope with pain and discomfort etc etc. before they're considered fit for life. "Wimps" and "sissy boys" are despised and excluded, e.g., males that SHOW undesired emotional reactions and thereby signal weakness. Being brave has nothing to do with being callous, it's all about controlling yerself. A guy who never feels anything is fearless (or a psychopat), not brave.

It all comes down to biology, tradition and socialization. To be a full-worthy and reliable member of society. Back in cavemen days, this was essential for survival. Still is in some aspects, for example in war, sports and extreme situations.

Inability to control your emotional reactions is a potential risk in dangerous situations. If one guy breaks down, others may follow and everything may eventually get out of hands. Tears and fear are as contagious as yawns. When you cry, your focus shifts from *group* to *individual* perspective and triggers others to do likewise. Aggression, on the other hand, effectively kills any urge to cry, drowns panic, fear and anxiety and has traditionally been encouraged in boys as a socially acceptable way to react emotionally. Within reason, of course.

There have been times when men were allowed, even recquired to cry, to show grief, disappointment or underline a political demand etc etc, BUT these tears were something entirely different than uncontrolled crying (= what females do) and too-sensitive men were still despicable.

Crying *in the female way* is a passive reaction, signalling need of support and (often) hopelessness, while men are supposed to be active and independent.

Personally, I think that since we're not cavemen anymore and the survival threats we face today are very different from wounded mammoths and the likes, we need to find other ways of coping with life than clinging to traditional roles and solutions. To ease tension by crying and allow yourself to react emotionally (again, within reason of course) may even make you healthier and less
likely to choose violent ways like fighting and suicide to solve the problems of life.

Answer 2

That foolish idea is just one of the many we get programmed with as children from "well-meaning" parents. Daddys want their boys to be strong, not really knowning the meaning of strength..and Mom`s buy into it because it has become a generational mistake. So it just keeps getting repeated....but maybe now , that your eyes are wide and wet....you will NEVER , if you have a son, put that idea into his head, either by action or a "man to man "talk. Do you not feel better since you cried ?

Answer 3

in case you experience like crying, then crying is the healthiest ingredient you may do. there is not any longer something incorrect with a guy crying, regardless of what stupid social norms say. do not waste your existence attempting to adapt. in case you want to cry, cry. for my area, a real guy isn't afraid to cry. attempting no longer to cry is a demonstration of weak spot. do not pay interest to what machos say, on account that they're frequently vile human beings.

Answer 4

This comes from the "idea" that men are supposed to be the stronger figure, while women can show their emotions (by crying). It's just a question of "male ego."

Answer 5

nobody in not allowed to cry,coz were human and we have heart thats why when we feel sad or pain crying is come automatic if guy or girl.but crying is not common by guy only for girl coz the girl they are sensitive and emotional in feelings.but when a guy he cry is doesnt mean his no more guy but he is more than a guy he is man coz he cry gor something.coz u cry for me ur the best

Answer 6

It is a false impression that our society gives us. Guys are raised to belive that anger and violence is ok for men, but crying is not. This is reinforced through the media, in movies, tv, etc. Then we wonder why our society is so violent, it is because we are raised that way!!

Answer 7

it's just a saying because boys are supposed to be so much tougher then girls, boys are supposed to be able to take pain and stuff but girls cry all the time because they're soo emotional and everything, boys try to act tough and everything so no matter how sad they are inside or how much they wanna cry, they're always trying to hide they're feelings!

Answer 8

keep letting out ur emotions, i wish guys cried more,

guys get the idea that if they cry they are not strong enough!!

cry wen u need 2!!!

Answer 9

Go ahead and have another good one. Cry all you want. Join in as I cry now and everyday, maybe 10 x's or more .It's alright to feel emotion no matter who you are. GOD loves yu anyway.........

Answer 10

men are the warriors,the strong leaders.females like to think deep down inside that we can protect them,a crying image doesnt serve to project these things.