At what age did you and/or your children get kicked out of mom and dad's bed?

Question

There seems to be a lot of cultural differences on children sleeping with their parents. Also, I don't put much faith in psychologists or their studies.

The first 8 answers, so far, are very kind, thoughtful, and interesting. Perhaps I should keep this question open until my two-year-old moves out of bed (LOL), and then let it go to a vote.

Answer 1

My kids never slept in my bed!

Answer 2

My 18 month-old spends most of the night in our bed. We have been cosleeping with her since birth. I recently became interested in having a little more space in our bed - for at least part of the night! So we moved her unused crib mattress into our room and put it next to our bed (both mattresses are on the floor). Since doing this, I haven't noticed much change in her sleeping habits or nursing habits during the night. I thought she might sleep longer stretches or nurse less, but that hasn't really happened. Usually after her 2nd time waking during the night I just bring her in bed with us, since it's so much more convenient to nurse that way. However, I am enjoying the extra space in our bed during the first half of the night, and maybe it will gradually lead to a slow transition out of our bed at some point. I'm not sure when that will happen. I think my child would need to be much more verbal and able to have a conversation with us about where she sleeps. I also think she is not even close to night weaning, so it just makes sense to keep her close to us.

Answer 3

I myself don't remember sleeping in my mom and dad's bed but we were poor then and all four of the family slept in a tiny room together until I was 5. Later someone said this is what may have caused my bad dreams about mum and dad shouting with each other without sounds, and the tension in me growing unbearably. So later when we had our own kids they had their own room very close to ours and we went up to their beds every time we heard them. It was tiring, but I think it was OK because I felt I did it for their good. But they were allowed in our bed on Sunday mornings or when there was a thunderstorm, but not for sleeping there for a whole night. If they fell asleep, we carried them to their beds. I have three wonderful daughters, 14, 12 and 5. and they seem happy.

Answer 4

Both of ours stopped sleeping with us full time by 2 years old. They still come into our bed at least twice a week for a few hours. They share a room which seems to have made some difference, but we did buy a king size bed for a reason :)

Answer 5

I only slept with my parents after a bad dream. My first baby was 5 wks early so he slept in our bed (at night) in the Snuggle Nest. He had two surgeries so he didn't go to his own bed until 3 months. At a year old he had a horrible ear infection and sleeping with us was the only way he could sleep through the night. I got PG when he was a year old so he went back to his bed once he was kicking me from the outside and the baby was kicking me from the inside!!!

Answer 6

My oldest didn't start sleeping in my bed until she was 3, so had a lot of trouble sleeping. I had to lay in her little bed with her until she feel asleep and if she woke up, I would take her to her bed and lay down again. She finally got use to going to bed in her room and now at age 5 she goes to bed all by herself. My 1 yr old, slept in my bed from 4-9 months then I put her in a crib. She still doesn't like it, but she will get use to it soon enough.

Good luck.

Answer 7

I WON'T kick my kids out of my bed. i figure, if they are there, it's for a reason. i look at it as bonding time. even when we are asleep SOMETIMES my kids want to be that close to me... and i like that. they are only little for so long... i'm in no hurry for them to grow up and leave me... my kids are 16, 14, 10, & 7. my 10 & 7 year olds still "sneak" into bed with me sometimes. any day now my 10 year old boy will stop sneaking (based on what the older 2 did)... i have never let my kids sleep with me every night from bed time to morning... i've just always allowed the sneaking :)

Answer 8

Ha! I agree with you about the psychologist and their studies! I always slept in my own bed/crib, except on special occasions when my dad was out of town and my mother would let my sister and I sleep in bed with her. I always wanted to sleep with my parents, and I STILL have trouble settling down and falling asleep at night.

Now I have a 2 and 4 year old. My oldest finally slept in his own bed all night on the day we brought my youngest home from the hospital (he was just over 2 years old). Now my 2 year old finally sleeps most of the night in with her brother, although she initially falls asleep in our bed. They seem to be doing fine with this arrangement. And on many nights at least one of the kids will crawl into bed with us in the wee hours of the morning. I love it! The way I look at it is that one day my children won't want to snuggle so closely, so I want to take advantage of it while they still do!

Answer 9

.Well when I found out I was going to have a baby there was two rules I set for myself . 1. no soother and 2. no sleeping in our bed..

I was lucky I got to complete both shes 22 months now and hasn't done either. I'm glad because I truly dont believe a child should get in the habit of sleeping with its parents. That's why we have cribs or bassinets..they can even go in the same room so they have there own beds.

Answer 10

My boy is four and he sleeps with me at my house and in bed with his father when he is at his house. Whether or not this would be different were we still together and cramming three bodies into one bed I do not know. I find it hard to sleep without my child in arms reach. He will sleep in his own bed but I always put him in bed with me. It is a dependency on my part more than his. I can't help it, I live in fear that he will be stolen in the middle of the night or die in his sleep... It sucks to worry this much but when you hear horror stories on TV so much they stick in your head. I don't know when I will ever put him in his own bed but I have to figure it out sooner or later. People in China have their whole families in the same bed all the time, right?

P.S. To answer #1, I am a good parent regardless of if my son sleeps with me or not...

Answer 11

The last time my son slept with us, he was about 4 weeks old. I don't like the idea of co-sleeping because it infringes on my relationship with my husband and the independency of my son. Yes psychology is part of that; but for me it's just my own feeling on how our son should be raised and how it effects my relationship with my husband and my sons growth. I don't want my son to be afraid to sleep alone and need to sleep with us to be secure in his own house. There is no reason for that. I understand there are bad dreams and I would prefer to console my son in the comfort of his own bed then allowing him to think our bed is safer than his. I do think that co-sleeping can get in the way of his independence. At what age does it start causing a problem really depends on the child. Just understand their level of intelligence and go from there.