2006-07-22 19:27:26 · 13 answers · asked by czar 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DONALD RUMSFELD: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
ANDERSON COOPER/CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.
JUDGE JUDY: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain leveL. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that!
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \..... reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
SAEED AL SAHAF (former Head of Information, Iraq):
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We do not even have a chicken.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
TONY BLAIR: I agree with George.
HANS BLIX: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
KARL MARX: It was an historic inevitability.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: What is your definition of chicken?
HOMER SIMPSON: Mmmmmmmmm . . . . c h i c k e n
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and unsuccessfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been
naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed
to cross roads.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road... it
transcended it.
L.A.P.D.: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out
Source(s): wont tell ya!!!!
2006-07-22 19:31:08 · answer #1 · answered by ♥michele♥ 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I really enjoyed sexy_blg 's answer(No doubt... down loaded from the web)... My ORIGINAL two points worth is...
The chicken crossed the road because.. he flipped me the bird and I ran after him with a big knife.... he crawled under the fence.. damn! A bird sanctuary.. Ohhh, lookit! he's sticking out his tongue!! OOOOOhhh! (steaming mad) that makes me wanna go over the fence... Chuck it!! I am going over... hehehehe! (blade shining brightly in the sun)
2006-07-23 04:46:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
'Cause she knew I was coming to cook 'er and eat her.
LOL I named my cat chicken. You never know when you'll need to eat your pet, but you can be sure if you take your skinned and cleaned cat to your wife or girlfriend and say here cook up tabby and we'll eat well tonight. well that's just not goint to happen, but twist that little puddy tats front legs into triangle and say hey babe can you cook this chicken up for us? You'll both eat well AND NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW!.
2006-07-24 01:52:01 · answer #3 · answered by Leather M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
~latina~lover~ do you realize that other members have to read your racist, bigoted response to this question? I realize you are only a 12 year old child, but it is ridiculous to spout garbage like that on any public board. You should be ashamed of yourself.
2006-07-23 02:34:33 · answer #4 · answered by leathersammie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because this is a very free-spirited chicken.
2006-07-23 18:43:44 · answer #5 · answered by GoDetroitTigers! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To go to the lemonade stand.
2006-07-23 23:25:23 · answer #6 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he was nailed to the punk rocker
2006-07-23 02:44:51 · answer #7 · answered by Jackal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
'cause it was being chased by the fox
2006-07-23 02:47:53 · answer #8 · answered by giantdwarfbat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to get a better yahoo answer?
2006-07-23 02:45:37 · answer #9 · answered by J's On My Feet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to get to the other side..silly.
2006-07-23 02:29:47 · answer #10 · answered by bunty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋