My ex-bf keeps asking me to get back with him. I've lost the feelings.?

Question

He's a really nice guy and I know he would never cheat on me. But while we dated he took me for granted. All he wanted was sex. After we broke up I hooked up with another guy friend of mine (I knew it wouldnt last cause I was leaving the country). It was one of the most amazing nights of my life. And after experiencing that I don't know if I wanna get back with him - but he's cried a couple times and tells me he's willing to forget everything that happened with the other guy but he wants me to give him a second chance. I don't know what to do. I don't have those feelings for him but I hate seeing him in this state. He's in love for the first time and I'm the first girl he's dated for more than 2 months. How do I get him to get over me?

Answer 1

if you don't have feelings for him, why don't you know what to do? tell, him no, and no is final. Tell him that you don't have feelings anymore, it is like you are leading him on if you don't. being with him when you do not have feelings and he doesn't know it, really would be just wrong.

Answer 2

time is the answer. Stick to your guns cause it will only get ugly down the road. He will get over you in time. Just don't give him a relationship out of pitty. Its not fair to you or him. He's a man he will get over it. I think the only thing you can do is do what your heart tells you. DON'T second guess yourself. It sounds like you are sorta young, honey enjoy your life, its yours treasure every moment in life and don't waste a second of it. If he's hot for you let him envy you. And from a distance be his friend, he will respect you down the road for it. Good luck.....Quit feeling bad and feel good you have a couple of fans but move on and create your own happienss sometimes it doesn't happen to much now of days and for the most part its nice to see a person being real.

Answer 3

Tough situation. Sometimes they never miss the water until the well runs dry!

I think you need to stop communicating with him. By continuing talking to him you are helping him to stay stuck on you.

You are unintentionally leading him on, because the more you continue to talk to him the more he believes he has a chance to persuade you into taking him back.

He may be really sorry about what he did, but even if you take him back, you risk the chance of him believing that he has gotten away with mistreating you and it might happen again.

Tell him that there are other girls out there that he can start out on a clean slate with. Once you make that clear to him. Cut off all contact, because at this point he will never accept just being your friend.

Answer 4

Time for some toff love. Its OK for him to see you but when he does slap him.(I know you won't but this will work) Say I only want to be friends and there is no chances of us going out again. Say any more thoughts that come to your head. But try not to, Try to let the thoughts go and just give him a hug and say "I'm sorry" Then leave. After that, when ever he comes back make it a physically bad experiences for him. So he understands. It would probly be ok to talk to him only on e-mail after that. untell you brack up with this other guy.

Answer 5

you should never give someone so much trust to say "he would never cheat on me" I have learned that if you give someone enough rope they just might hang you. Seriously if you dont feel for him just tell him you are sorry and cut him off clean if you really care about his feelings you should not dangle him along or give mixed signals.

Answer 6

honey it will hurt both of you more if you get back in this just for him, you will end up leaving him again and that will hurt bad. And really who's to say he doesn't just want the sex still men can be manipulative to get what they really want. Some of them have told me that to my face.

Answer 7

well if you have no feelings for him, then going out with him just to make him happy then dumping him because there are no feelings would only make him and you feel bad... i almost think that you should just get another boyfriend.. that way you can tell your ex that your'e taken already and therefore not interested in him... i think that might work... but tell him gently..

Answer 8

obviously you answered your own question of whether to get back with him or not.
you don't like him! no matter his state of mind, you will always be miserable in a relationship if you don't even like the guy!!!! and sparing his feelings by being with him out of pity, is NOT sparing his feelings. he's in love with you. that's great. at least he fell in love with someone who cares for him like you do. it's obvious you don't want to hurt him. but when you love somebody, hurting them in the present, even if it drives them away from you, is the only thing that will save them in the future.
and in response to your question of how he can get over you: tell him the truth. it sounds like you havent even told him you dont have feelings for him anymore. he's still on you because he thinks he's still got a chance. he's holding out for that day when he wins you over with his tears and forgiveness. he sounds like a great guy that cares about you alot. but you don't want to waste him on yourself, when you don't reciprocate his feelings. let another girl have him, one that will appreciate him. encourage him to find someone that can relate to him on his own level.

Answer 9

just keep it real tell him how you feel. he will be in pain for only a short time compared to the long term pain of begin strung along.Nothing hurts worse then trying to make something work that's never going to work.

Answer 10

Keep walking don't look back you are the first girl he has dated that long that means that his ex girlfriends was not satisfied either!