Now doesn't this sound better?

Question

1. I’d Rather You Didn’t Act Like A Sanctimonious, Holier-Than-Thou *** When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don’t Believe In Me, That’s Okay. Really, I’m Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn’t About Them So Don’t Change The Subject.


2. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/On, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don’t Require Sacrifices And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.


3. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey-Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We’re Talking About Fashion And I’m Sorry, But I gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia.


4. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.


5. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B******.


6. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick):


Ending Poverty

Curing Diseases

Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable


I Might Be A Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator.


7. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Go Around Telling People I talk To You. You’re Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can’t You Take A Hint?


8. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot Of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If The Other Person, IS Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly, It’s A piece Of Rubber. If I Didn’t Want It To Feel Good When You Did IT I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.




RAmen

Hey, Pastafarianism seems to make more sense than *ahem* CERTAIN other religions.Who's with me?

Answer 1

Sounds like your talking about the

Doctrines of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster


http://www.venganza.org/

Answer 2

What you're really talking about is the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Hail to the Noodly One!

Answer 3

i love Colten Bryce, yet listed right here are another techniques: Colten Brayden Colten Brian Colten Bradley Colten Brady very few off the proper of my head. yet i imagine i'd keep on with Bryce.

Answer 4

Did you say something about Ramen noodles??? Because those are pretty good for like 5 cents a package.

Allah be praised.

Answer 5

Most of your noodly doctrines are in practice by other religions already.

Best wishes.

Answer 6

I see a shining ray of sense and good will. Amen to Ramen!

Answer 7

That's closer to the truth than any organized religion gets to.

Answer 8

Somebody needs a hug.

Answer 9

Finally there is some clarity within the static.

Answer 10

Thank you...

Your text is rather difficult to read given that your word-processor is mistakenly capitalizing all words...

Cordially,
John