any quick funny jokes?

Answer 1

2 blondes in a bar are yelling woohoo 57 days 57 days woohoo..
A Guy walks up to them asking what is up with 57 days?
They answered we got this puzzle done in 57 days and the box says 4-6 yrs.

Answer 2

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a
bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of
the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!"
After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her
into the president's office.

The bank president then asked her how much she would like to
deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag
onto his desk. The president was, of course, curious as to how she
came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're
carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?" The old
lady replied, "I make bets."

The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?" The old
woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls
are square." "Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You
can never win that kind of bet!" The old lady challenged, "So, would
you like to take my bet?" "Sure," said the president, "I'll bet
$25,000 that my balls are not square!" The little old lady then
said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring
my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 am as a witness?" "Sure!"
replied the confident president.

That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and
spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning
from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out
until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were
square and that he would win the bet.

The next morning, at precisely 10 am, the little old lady
appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced
the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the
president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet
again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all
see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at
his balls and then asked if she could feel them. "Well, Okay," said
the president,"$ 25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be
absolutely sure."

Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his
head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the
hell's the matter with your lawyer?" She replied, "Nothing, except I
bet him $50,000 that at 10 am today, I'd have the president of the
Bank of Canada's balls in my hand."



__._,_.___

Answer 3

Do you know what the speed limit of sex is?
68 because at 69 you have to turn around.
Do you know why 77 is better than 69?
Because you get 8 more.
Do you know why 88 is even better.
Because you get 8 twice.
Of course you know what 138 is?
Two couples doing 69 of course.

Answer 4

Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
--Fo' Drizzle

Why does Snoop Dogg cook with a frying pan?
--Fo' Sizzle

Why did Snoop Dogg go to war?
--Fo' Mizzle

Why did Snoop Dogg drink a hot Coke?
--Fo' Fizzle

Answer 5

An old lady leans over to her husband in church and says "Dear..I just let out a quiet but awful smelling fart. What should I do?" the old man replies.."nothing now..when we get home though, replace your hearing aid battery".

Answer 6

Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's the Secret Service.'
-- Jay Leno

Answer 7

Whats the worst thing about eating a vegetable?



taking off their diper.

Answer 8

Why couldn't the Shark go out at night ? He was married to a crab.

Answer 9

any blond joke in the world

Answer 10

What did the fish say as it swam into the wall?
Dam!