I dont understand why when someone get hurts by someone in their past relationship...The next person ( who maybe a good one) has to suffer for the person who hurt them. They have to prove to him or her that they are not and will never be like the last person they dated. I just feel everyone deserves a fair chance.
2006-07-22 16:36:50 · 7 answers · asked by hunny_bunny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sweety, it's because of the scar. It almost becomes like an alarm that rings to your ear everyday, everytime. It's hell. Which is the reason why it's not a good thing to jump from a relationship to another, because after one relationship, you need time to heal (even if it's better said than done), time to if not forget, patch the wound. It's hard, i know, both for the person who wants to have the relationship with the wounded person, and the wounded person itself.. but it's only a matter of understanding and patience, a matter of willingness to put a patch onto the past, and be ready to move on.
It takes a lot of commitment from both sides.
Good luck!
2006-07-22 16:46:43 · answer #1 · answered by diamant152001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's because the relationship they have started with you also started off in the same way that the relationship that hurt them did. You meet, discover a mutual interest, begin seeing each other and everything is all sunshine and roses.
One of two things happened in the last (hurtful) relationship.
1. Little red flags start to pop up about the partner (doesn't call as much, don't see each other as often, acts distant but says nothing is wrong, etc) and they don't want to believe them/pay attention to them because things have been going so well.
2. Something huge happens and they're slapped in the face with it (partner simply stops contacting you, find out partner is married, cheating, etc.)
Either way they end up devastated. One way is slowly painful and the other is quick and painful.
No, it's not your fault that they were hurt by a past relationship, but it would also be stupid of them to throw all caution to the wind simply because you say you can be trusted. They have heard that before and it wasn't true. You just have to be patient with your new romantic interest. Good luck and I wish you the best.
2006-07-22 23:57:38 · answer #2 · answered by stseukn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats what people do there whole life. Compare things now with things in the past. We compare this dinner at the restaurant today to the one last week. Don't you do this. Our life is just a bunch of experiences that we pass though, analyze, remember, recall, compare....Get it.
Your job is to show the new person that you are better than the last relationship, and that there is no real comparison!
2006-07-22 23:43:30 · answer #3 · answered by Yourname Here 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how they have been hurt and if they were cheated on. I can say from personal experiences that if you have been cheated on you always think the next person is going to do it. So you put your guard up. You hope for the best but you always remember what the last person did.
2006-07-22 23:42:39 · answer #4 · answered by mom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your right. Everyone does deserve a fair chance. Unfortunately, once we've been hurt, i believe it's human nature to put our guard up. Not always fair I know. I've been guilty of doing it myself
2006-07-22 23:46:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because that's all they know. Everybody creates schemas for things in life that caused them harm - the same way phobias are formed.
2006-07-22 23:41:59 · answer #6 · answered by nolyad69 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was hurt,because.i was to nice...........and i dated her for 6 years.and she died....caint find a nice one like her again.......because i have look
2006-07-23 00:37:43 · answer #7 · answered by romance 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋