I dont understand why when someone get hurts be someone in their past relationship...The next person ( who maybe a good one) has to suffer for the person who hurt them. They have to prove to him or her that they are not and will never be like the last person they dated. I just feel everyone deserves a fair chance.
2006-07-22 16:35:21 · 26 answers · asked by hunny_bunny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes you are right everyone deserves a fair chance but it is only natural for someone to be on their guard after being hurt. It is called a defense mechanism. However, the person should realize that you are not the bad one. It is only natural to compare your dates to other people from your past because you learn from your mistakes and hope your not making another one.
2006-07-22 16:39:42 · answer #1 · answered by Carleyheart 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's mostly insecurity. There's nothing you can say or do to prove yourself. The insecure person will always find something to accuse you of or argue about. It will get to the point where you are almost like a prisoner because you are so busy spending your time with this insecure person trying to convince them that you love them that you cut yourself off from your friends and family. You can be with this person 24/7 and never be trusted. It's better to get out of that relationship and move on. Trust is a very important part of a relationship. I don't think people realize just how important it is.
2006-07-22 23:52:29 · answer #2 · answered by sweetthang 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety, it's because of the scar. It almost becomes like an alarm that rings to your ear everyday, everytime. It's hell. Which is the reason why it's not a good thing to jump from a relationship to another, because after one relationship, you need time to heal (even if it's better said than done), time to if not forget, patch the wound. It's hard, i know, both for the person who wants to have the relationship with the wounded person, and the wounded person itself.. but it's only a matter of understanding and patience, a matter of willingness to put a patch onto the past, and be ready to move on.
It takes a lot of commitment from both sides.
Good luck!
2006-07-22 23:42:08 · answer #3 · answered by diamant152001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be fair, humans are creatures of comparison by nature. We describe things like big, small, good, bad- but all of these are qualities which only exist in comparison to something else. We are taught to compare ourselves to others and people we meet to people we know in a social way. Also, comparison helps the brain remember information and characteristics about things and people easily, without having to form new beliefs on everything it encounters.
Having said that, the only way to work past that type of thing in a relationship is honesty and dedication. Some people are too tied up in their past and need to grow in many ways before they are truly ready for another full out relationship, but every experience helps us develop as individuals. I don't want to sound obvious, but if there are unresolved issues because of a past relationship, they will remain that way...well, until they get resolved! Some people never want to face their pain, but that pain holds the key to it's own destruction.
2006-07-22 23:44:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because people learn from their experiences and if they are coming from a bad experience then they expect bad things when they see certain signs. If your friend has been hurt then you just have to be a little patient and demonstrate that youre not the other person, that you are not out to hurt them and show them that you are trying to be nice and develop a strong friendship or relationship with them...it takes time and patience but it is usually worth the effort.
2006-07-22 23:42:35 · answer #5 · answered by Walter J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one really ever starts a new relationship without any influence from the past I think that the past actuaslly defines who we are as a human being even at the cost of hurting *the good person*
2006-07-22 23:39:29 · answer #6 · answered by fan1906 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right everyone deserves a fair chance. Those people are still dealing with the hurt, and until they can get over it, they need to stay single.
2006-07-22 23:38:25 · answer #7 · answered by annarenee83 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right it is called emotional baggage
and you should not have to prove yourself
What should haven is you need to tell the person they need to deal with their trust issue you are not that person who hurt them and will not pay for their mistakes anymore
the point here is that this is their problem and they need to deal with it before they become involved in a new relationship
2006-07-22 23:41:06 · answer #8 · answered by someone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they haven't let go of their baggage. The next person shouldn't have to "prove" anything. When you have "stuff" left over from a previous relationship do yourself and your future partner a favor and get some counseling.
2006-07-22 23:39:41 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that we all draw on our past experience,whether good or bad, i think that it is only human nature to do this, i don't believe it is right but we still do it, and yes we all deserve a fair chance
2006-07-22 23:44:21 · answer #10 · answered by dpj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋