Ive been going through a lot. I havnt met such good guys, all they did was hurt me. I found out my boyfriend of 3 years has been cheating behind my back. He was never like this, he was a Christian, but since hes been hanging with Non Christians, hes strayed. He has a dirty mouth now, and says he used me for sex, but the thing is he never got it, cause Im waiting for marriage. I have such negative thoughts now when i see men. when i see them, i think, "hes not a virgin." "he cares about sex in a bad way." and so on. I have never thought like this, but I feel like all men care about sex as something used, not beautiful when married.I never was tempted in the Area of Sex. I am just not confident in this area, i feel like all men arent pure and care about sex.
Will some believers/christians help me with this, as in verses/scriptures. I dont want any mean or wise comments, I want nice ones, ive been through alot. I need help to fight the negative thoughts towards men, HOPE i need.thx
2006-07-22 15:56:29 · 22 answers · asked by inthisskin22x 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Ah, too true. Finding true Christians is a difficult task. Paul says in his first letter to the Church of Corinth that he wishes everyone could be celibate and unmarried as he is. But because that is not plausible, we may marry: let one man have one wife, and one woman one husband. If you can find one who truly walks in the paths of the Lord, and with whom you share a true spiritual bond, marry him. If you cannot find a righteous man, then do not yield to temptation, do not marry an inferior man just to settle down. Better to remain pure and undefiled than to give yourself to one unworthy of you. God bless you, sister.
2006-07-22 16:01:44 · answer #1 · answered by koresh419 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't really think of any scriptures off the top of my head. But I did want to tell you (from someone who has been there) Not all guys are bad. Just because they may have had sex before does not mean they won't respect your wishes if they care about you enough. I had a baby when I was 17 (I wasn't a christian then) the guy split when my baby was 3 weeks old. I have since married a good man who loves my daughter as his own and we have had 3 more children. I was bitter like you until I met him. Just keep the faith that not all men are bad. Their brains work different than ours and yes they do think about sex a lot. You just have to find one mature enough to control those thoughts. Don't give up love will find you when you least expect it.
2006-07-22 23:04:03 · answer #2 · answered by vanembryzoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start by getting some counseling. See your minister and ask for their help. Not all men are out for sex. Not all men use women. Saving yourself for marriage is a wonderful thing, don't let anyone make you feel bad for doing it. Take some time and don't try to get into any relationships right now, learn more about yourself and work on being coming the best you can. Go to school, take some classes and if your church gives them take some religion classes. Don't dwell on this or it will twist you up inside and you won't be able to move on. Good luck and God bless you.
2006-07-22 23:11:15 · answer #3 · answered by idaho gal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join the club. Been worring about that myself. But thier are guys out thier that have sex before they find love. But doesn't mean they'll cheat on you. People make mistakes.... like not waiting until they find thier true love. But you can't not look at the non virgin man. Some out thier have hearts...feeling and are waiting for a women to understand them... and be thier as a friend and lover. Thats what most men want. a friend and a lover. Morals don't come to play right away until they see that side of you. and thats when they find if that side they really love about you or.. don't. Don't close yourself out. Or you'll end up old and alone. ;_; and that sucks. lol.. XD trying not to scare you off. but i'm going through the same deal.
2006-07-22 23:07:05 · answer #4 · answered by Marie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang on Jesus my sister....there ARE pure Christian guys on this earth. I am still waiting to find the one the Lord would have me be with. Stay pure and clean for the Lord and when that day does come that God sends you the one....you will be rewarded tremendously. This world has nothing for us....just stay embraced in the everlasting arms of Jesus.
I feel the same way about men and sex...seems like almost all of them do care about just that. BUT, that's not totally true...there are pure men of God out there...just a rare find. Don't let this world take you down with all it has to offer for the "here and now"...live for eternity. I would love to chat sometime.....especially now, but the Yahoo Messenger is down. So, anytime, let me know....I would love to share the comfort and peace of Christ.
Love in Him,
Sabrina
2006-07-22 23:04:16 · answer #5 · answered by SS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep knowing YOU'RE RIGHT and are on the RIGHT TRACK.
Guys, however, have strong sex needs and even ministers "cheat" and I'm sure you're aware of that. And then they say: "I'm only human!"
Not true. A human makes a willful choice. An animal gives in to instinincts and that's what this guy did. He followed his thingamabob instead of his brain, soul and heart. He went after cheap thrills. He listened to Satan who said: Go for it! Get sum! Are you a man or a mouse! Be man! We're all behind you!
Do you want a human or an animal!
You are doing things right!
2006-07-22 23:12:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about the tough time you are going through. There is much that could be said on this, but I will limit my comments to just a couple:
1) There are many men in the world who are not as you describe. There are many good and faithful Christian men who are looking for something meaningful and sincere, and, like you, are waiting for marriage before experiencing those kinds of relations.
2) Read the Book of Psalms - there is much there that can help you. I'm not one for quoting chapter and verse, but here are a couple of things for you to remember:
"Be angry and sin not" (Ps. 4) (In other words, be angry at sin so as to confirm yourself in righteousness, but watch out that you do not sin yourself through your anger).
See especially Psalm 37, and: "Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath. Do not fret - it leads only to evil."
That's about all I'll say on this. I think you probably know that right answer already, you just need to be reminded. Don't let this disappointment make you vulnerable to the snares of the enemy of all mankind, because he will plant every wrong thought he can in your mind until you end up doing just the thing you have sworn not to do - if you give those thoughts a fertile place to grow. As the Psalms say, you have to cut of "your thorns before they know their briar."
May God preserve you in your chastity of body AND mind.
In Christ Jesus...
2006-07-22 23:14:47 · answer #7 · answered by LDRship 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eph: 4:29 I will let no corrupt communication proceed out my mouth.
Feed your faith say John 1 5:4 I am a world overcomer
Filter your thoughts and read psalms 101:3 Set no evil before your eyes. Pray without ceasing and raise yourself image and no that your body is the temple of God and Dont live up to false responsibilities (meaning:) trying to please your mate and his expectations. Please yourself. Wake up every morning with a greatful heart and rest and wait God says: Be still and know that i am God. Move on and trust the lord for your mate and he will bring it to pass. And you will see results if you read and meditate on these scriptures. And one more thing God is not the author of confusion so if you are confused about this mate he is not for you nor is he of God.
2006-07-22 23:08:56 · answer #8 · answered by I can answer it 4 U 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1John 4:7-8 Beloved let us love one another, because love is of God, and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who loveth not knoweth not God for god is love. Beloved lets love one another.
What God means there. Is if you love someone you love them unconditionally. Not go out and have sex with someone Else. Love. When you find the right man who will love for the person you are. It does not matter if your good at sex. Because that is just sex. But when two people really love each other it is making love. You can never be bad at that. Keep your head up. Find someone who loves you for you. Don't let nothing like not being great at sex bother you. That's just sex.
2006-07-22 23:12:19 · answer #9 · answered by lovely soul with insite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend, it hurts me to see you so down. God has wonderful plans for you. In Ezekiel it says, "I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you". In Psalms 23 it says, " Yea, though I walk thru the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me."
We don't always understand why things happen. I went thru a similar situation with an ex-wife. We had been married for 3 years when I found out that she was having sex with someone else. But, it is thru the times of testing, when things seem to be going all wrong, thats when we get stronger, if we just get closer to the Lord. God loves you, and I love you, even though we have never met. I will be praying for you, that God will give you peace in your soul.
2006-07-22 23:05:47 · answer #10 · answered by wild1handy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋