I am in my late twenties and live at home. The other night I stayed over at this guy's house that I am dating...I behaved myself and all, but it made my parents look really down on me. I understand where they are coming from, saying it is wrong, and I need to respect their rules since I'm living here under their roof, but I just wondered if anyone had any advice or similar situation. I know I won't live here forever, and I am also kind of bummed that I can't do what I want, but I will have to find a good way of looking at it. Any advice or comments?
2006-07-22 15:45:53 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't fret "Ladybuggg"...you will soon be out of your parents house, but in the meantime you will have to abide by their rules. Even though you are an adult, you are an adult in their house, not your own. Don't beat yourself down about it, talk with your parents and explain that you made a mistake and you won't do it again. Let them know that your reputation and virginity are still intact and that it was a one time bad decision that will not happen again. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Good luck.
2006-07-22 15:51:58 · answer #1 · answered by gmommy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you DO still live at home ad therefore your folks feel they still have the right to BE your parents! You know what? They are right. You should be embarrassed that you have to ask us what is wrong, you KNOW what is wrong; YOU broke the rules!
If you cannot deal with that, my only suggestion is to move out. Remember, your parents have this rule (and others I'll bet) because they love you and want to protect you! One day, you will come to realize this, however, when you feel that you can't live with these rules, again, move out and live with your OWN rules.
Don't get me wrong, when I was your age (not that I am THAT much older, I am 38 and male) I wanted to get out of the house because i didn't like the house rules. I did, but funny, I ended up dropping out of school (back in now, going for a Master's), marring the wrong person (mostly 'getting back' at Dad, MISTAKE), lost a car (repossed), lost a job (again, that first wife), and lost a son (yes, that first wife), divorced (ugh, never again).
Now, I a much older and more mature, have the perfect wife and family. My mother still teases me about how I left the first time but is still supportive about my decision, even the first wife, because of the learning that was gained.
Do what you will, in the end it is STILL your life. Just do it under your own roof (or at least, NOT as a member of your parent's household)
2006-07-22 15:57:43 · answer #2 · answered by walterhawthorneiii 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In these days living at home at your age is not a bad thing. Its what we need to do sometimes. But your parents need to understand that you are not a 14 year old anymore. Talk to them and tell tell them you are a grown person. If it mean you have to pay some bills, well so be it. If your not having crazy parties at your parents house, there should be no problem.
2006-07-22 15:52:49 · answer #3 · answered by statetime2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you live with your parents they will have something to say about how you conduct yourself, even if you pay rent, and because you are in their house you need to respect their wishes. If you want to be able to do as you please then you need to move out, simple as that.
It's not only the fact that you stayed out all night to be with your boyfriend, but these days parents are right to worry when daughters, or sons for that matter, don't come back home all night. Too many awful things are happening these days.
2006-07-22 15:50:05 · answer #4 · answered by nquizzitiv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, i truly walked in your shoes at one time. My dad wanted to try and put a midnight curfew on me when I was 20 years old. I sat down with him and explained that i would like to stay out later. We came to a compromise. You see he needed to uderstand where I was coming from, and I needed to understand where he was coming from. Now I am 27 with 3 children of my own, and completely understand where he was coming from. It is weird how things come into olay when the tables are reversed.
As for now, you are right you need to repspect their rules as it is their house. But there might be some wiggle room for you if you can explain yourself. As far as the sleeping over at your boyfriends house. My husband and I couldn't even sleep in the same bed when we were visiting at my mom and dad's house until we were married, so I don't think that you are going to be able to change their mind on that one.
if you are not able to spend the night at his house, then you just have to chersih the time that you ahve together with him. I am sure that your parents trust you because they raised you and instilled the values in you, but it might be him that they don't trust. Good luck sweetie.
2006-07-22 15:53:29 · answer #5 · answered by rabika97 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are over 21 and live in America, then you are free to do what you wish. Of course your parents are going to have their opinions whether you live with them or not, but if you stayed at his house, then you broke no rules of their home. They can tell you that your friend can't stay over at their house, but they can't tell you that you can't go there. Trust me, as a grown woman and mother of 3 living with mom and dad, you have to respect the rules of their house, but they also have to respect the fact that you are grown, and ARE going to make your own decisions. STAND YOUR GROUND GIRL. Let them run their house, NOT your life. Lots of Luck
2006-07-22 15:51:38 · answer #6 · answered by jensarquist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At some point in the near future you need to look into the possibility of getting your own place. My son is 26, and still lives at home too, but he must obey the "rules of the house" in order to continue to live here. You might have to get a roommate in order to afford it, but that works too. Get your own place, then you can do as you see fit. Good Luck!
2006-07-22 15:51:36 · answer #7 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication seems to be the problem here..1:you should have let them know where you were and 2:you need to discuss the feelings from both sides, clear the air you may be worrying about it more that nessessary....I'm a mum of 3 teenage boys round that age and I had to learn to let go and let them be adults and make their own choices(very hard for parents, when we worry) but within my guidelines while they were living in my home.
2006-07-22 15:52:37 · answer #8 · answered by lyndles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I moved back home for about 6 months when I was 20 after being out on my own for 3 yrs. They even gave me a curfew of midnight!!! Can you beleive that sh1t? Some parents are just like that. My advice is to move out if you can, like I said, I was only able to put up with it for a few months.
2006-07-22 15:50:17 · answer #9 · answered by akamoonpie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your parents just have to get over it. I did the same when I was younger. You just have to draw the line and make sure you don't have your boyfriend staying over at your (your parents) place LOL. Saving sex till after marriage does still happen for a minority and I respect those that do this, however it is no longer the norm.
2006-07-22 15:49:47 · answer #10 · answered by suzanne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋