i have this woman who is very dear to my heart. but because we are both hammering out some issues we are ....?

Question

both up and down. when im up im very romantic. but when im down, man can i say some evil things.

id like to learn how to be stronger so that when im down i dont do so much damage. because if we just keep stabbing each other back and forth the cycle will never end.

so how can i control myself better. when im angry? or when i start to feel myself getting angry? or when i really feel like i need her but she isnt around? how can i control myself so that my dr jeckel percentage goes up and mr hyde percentage goes down? so that she sees more and more good and is more and more willing to open up to me?

please dont give ANY answers that are outside the parameters of my questions.

and dont waste my time telling me im bipolar or should seek professional help or any other crap like that. ...in case you dont know what parameters means.

damnit, any idiot can say seek medical advice. ....why would you even waste your time typing that? didnt i specificly ask that you even say that?

for all you know i could be seeing a shrink 10 times a week. ...but that has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE QUESTION!

okay, kindhearted, that was a very nice answer thank you. i will keep your advice and try it.

most to ANYONE ELSE.... if i even see that word bipolar, doctor, or medical assistance anywhere in your answer im not even going to read it as you are apparantly to dumb to realize that that is not the answer im looking for.

Answer 1

Wow...sounds like you have major mood swings and I would seriously be seeking medical evaluation. To say you are a dr. hyde and then a dr jekyl is a good indicator that you are at opposite ends of the scale. Sounds like you are questioning your ups and downs, so go to a doc. and check into it.

Answer 2

Wow, that can be such a tough situation to be in and I know most of us have been there. All I can offer is what has worked for me and that is taking a deep breathe, walking away to a private spot, writing my feelings down in a journal and when I am calm, reflecting on the things that I love about that person. If your hurt enough by the anger between the two of you, you will find that you might even shred a couple tears while doing this, Heck, its a lot better than saying evil things and trust me, you feel a lot better physically. I guess crying releases those toxins that come up in our system when we are angry. Im not really sure about it, but it sure works for me. Passion and love are pretty intense stuff and Im sure if you sit your lady down and explain how you want to change things and how much it hurts you too, then maybe you both could come up with some time-out cues or words to help you both take a break. I hope this helped some. Take care and good luck

Answer 3

Meditation and Journal.

In the morning, get up and work through in your mind that you have these good moments and also the bad ones. "Look at" your mate's face and eyes when you are having a bad one. Think about that.

Write a journal. Recall and recount as detailed as possible the bad events. What was happening just before while it was still good, what triggered the bad, how bad the bad got. After a week, analyze your journal, seeing if there is a pattern to 1)how it goes bad and 2)the nature of the hurtful things you say. Then feed this back into your meditation.

You'll find the episodes decrease if you do this daily.

Answer 4

im going to answer u very seriously. I am a mature minded woman that had a man (ex-husband) like u. You need to fix your anger problem. Find out exactly what it is that triggers you all the time and learn to deal with that problem in a different prospective. Such as if you are feeling anger avoid speaking to the woman of your dreams until the anger goes away. Tell her that you are feeling angry and you dont want to lose your temper with her. Another way to release anger is to stay occupied. for instance: when an anger rage comes to you; go out jogging, or hit the gym and lift weights or even get a punching bag in your home and release your anger. I have learned through very hard times that nothing in this world is worth getting so angry about. Lift your heart to God and read the Bible when you can. Trust me you will feel relieved and energized with Love. If none of that works go to anger management classes!!!!!

Answer 5

Program your mind with what you want it to have in it. It's a law of nature that we believe what we tell ourselves. Remember how people will say, "She's told that lie so long, she actually believes it is true?" Well, that's just exactly right.

Another thing, quit letting your feelings control your behavior. That is for 2 year olds. Your mind should control your actions. You are--or will be soon--a grown man!

You CAN control your behavior. Let's see, do you talk to your boss at work like that? Or is s/he perfect and never does or expects anything that you think is unfair? When you get stopped by a policeman, do you talk abusively to him? When you disagree with some guy twice your size, do you get in his face? When you get so mad you could kill someone, do you do it?

No, no, no, no and don't-be-stupid-no. Why not? Because you can and you do control your angry impulses. You have a reason to, so you do. You have programmed yourself to understand that it is not wise to mouth off to your boss, or the policeman who's giving you a ticket, or to a guy twice your size--unless you need a nose job. And you just don't go kill people. So you already know how to do these things.

Here's a review:

1. Decide that you (the mind of you) are the master of you (the body of you).
2. Decide that you have a reason to control your words and behaviors, and even your anger, if you want to. Other people can't "make you angry." You choose to be angry or not.
3. Program your mind (ahead of time) about how it is to send messages to your body if you should be exasperated with someone (girlfriend, whomever).
4. (another way of saying #3) Decide what is and what is not appropriate behavior for you (no yelling, no hitting, no name calling, whatever you want to be like)
5. Refuse to behave any other way.
6. Decide ahead of time that if you find you are not quite experienced enough to keep it all under control the first few times you apply it, you will simply say, "There are times one should speak, and there are times one should be silent. Right now I should be silent, so I am going to be. We will talk later about this." And if you have to, go to another room or another house for awhile until you have a talk with your mind. Calm down and start over--politely!

You'll get it.

But don't let anyone tell you, you can't do it yourself, because you can.

My dad used to put it this way, "Just take the bull by the horns and say..." (whatever I wanted myself to do,) "then do it!" And it works! (Not fast. So don't get discouraged if you fail sometimes. Just stick with your resolve).

And hey! Thumbs up to you for being wise enough and a decent enough guy to care about it. She's a lucky lady to have you!!

God bless!

Answer 6

since you know this about yourself, that's the first step to making repairs. when you feel your blood boiling up, remove yourself from the situation. take a deep breath, take a walk, count to 10 if you have to. then ask yourself how would you like to be hearing said to you what you are ready to say to another. if it doesn't sound like something you'd like to hear, then don't say it. Patience is the key here. You need to be more logical than emotional...which is very, very hard to do. Ask this person for help. Admit you want to stop this. Ask them to simply say...that was pretty hurtful...so that you can better understand how your words affect others. Asking this person for help in this area will go a long way to making repairs to past angry words.

Answer 7

you have to learn not to get angry. easier said than done......
sit down and think of the consequences before you even start.

Communicate with her. if the link is strengthen there isn't any reasons to get angry.

Slowly solved the problems of why you get angry with her. Maybe she is wrong.

Last, if you really feel angry just walk away before hyde takes over.

My relationship is sailing on course too. hope these pointers help

Answer 8

You sound like i use to. I found out that I was Bi polar,or as some say manic depressive. I'd like to suggest that you talk to your doctor and explain what you've said here.Also look into your heart and if you love this woman maybe an anger management
class. I attended a domestic abuse class and threw myself into what they said.I guess my answer is you need to talk to a professional and have them help both of you if you really want this relationship to work. Of course its not the answer your looking for you want a simple answer if it was simple you'd have the answer you simple minded s.o.b

Answer 9

The first thing to ask yourself, is what makes you down. Is it something with yourself, or something in your relationship? If it is in yourself and you are just taking your negative feelings out on your girlfriend, then it is up to you to control those outbursts if you value the relationship. If it is something in the relationship, and you want to keep it, then you need to talk it out with your girlfriend to see if you can resolve those issues, because they have a nasty habit of not going away.

Answer 10

it is all about you mind and what are you thinking about, if you think in a some issue which make you angry so you absolutely will get angry, so the only thing you need to do is changing your mind completly when you feel getting angry, you can think about your good goals or positive points in your life or about yourself, anything that make you happy and give you tranquillity