parenting help??????????

Question

im a first time parent and i have a 2 yr old daughter who doesnt listen at all. i know shes goin through her terrible twos and its just a phase all kids go through but its really stressfull. whipping her doesnt help anymore lol. she getsinto everything and just ignores what she is told does anyone have any suggestions on how to help the terrible two process along??????lol thanks

Answer 1

I know one thing that does not work, and you have discovered it, because it no longer works for you. Spanking, or as you call it whipping. I used something called 1-2-3 Magic. A Dr. Phelan wrote a book by that name about how to help children and parents coexist.

You have a small chair set against a wall, and a timer, preferably one that makes noise, like ticking. When Little Miss Mischief is about to do something, you say that's One, and guide her to something else (distraction). If she refuses to be distracted and goes back to the object of her desire, you say that's Two, again leading her to a toy or something else. If she again returns, you say that's Three, and you pick her up and put her in the Time-Out chair for however old she is, but only as long as she is old. For a two-year old, it is two minutes, without crying. No fair leaving her there for 15 minutes.

Here's where the nerves of steel come in for the first several times you use it. Each time she gets up out of the chair, you calmly , unemotionally, say, "you need to sit quietly in the chair for two minutes," and then you reset the timer for the two minutes. If she cries, and cries, and cries, you calmly wait, not looking at her or "watching her" but be around dusting or something, and when she's run out of tears, you tell her that now you can set the timer for the two minutes and then she can get up to play.

Once she has successfully done this, you can give her a hug, but don't make a big deal out of it and give her a toy or something to play with in another room. It really works. You'd be surprised how after they hear that's One, they frown and quit what they were doing. It's so nice, even when they get older. The paperback book is not that expensive, and you might be able to find it in the library.

Answer 2

I have an 11yr a 6yr and a 16month and I found the best way to deal with the behaviour is to get it when it starts, but always get down on there level and talk to them. Treat them like their opinion matters like what they are trying to tell is important to. That could be part of the problem, she may feel that you are not listening to her why should she listen to you. I know that she is only 2 but she does understand and despite how frustrating it is be patient take the time and you should get through it just fine

Answer 3

i work with kids all the time and i see kids going through the terrible two stage. you need to be consistent. telling her no all the time. you also need to get down to her level and look her in the face and telling her what she is doing is wrong and why its wrong. shes testing you to see how far she can push you and this can affect her later in life. Also you should try time out. make a time out chair and make her sit in it for 2-3 minutes. also give her rewards such as stickers for good behaviors.

Answer 4

Give a time out for 2 minutes (1 minute for every year) and every time she gets up put her back and start the time out over. When she sees that you aren't kidding you will gain some control.

Answer 5

"Whipping " her is ridiculous. She is two. Try time out , if done correctly it can work. Don't do it for more than 2 minutes and do not talk to her while she is in time out no matter what she does or says. Also if she has favorite toys take them away or put them in time out.

Answer 6

Make sure she is looking at you when you are telling her something. Get down to her level. Be consistent. Timeout a min per age. let her expand her boundaries as rewards. Example: timeout to small area with one toy, then maybe let her roam the room with toys. If she acts up send her straight to time out. Make sure rules are simple and clear cut. If you throw that then timeout. don't warn her if she throws what ever straight to timeout. when she is out of timeout reminder her when you throw this you hurt me I don't like it when you hurt please don't hurt me. Hope this helps. Punish out of love not anger. Let her know when you have done wrong. Also make sure you set 15 min aside to play what she wants with her rules everyday (with safety in mind). Take time out for you. Taking care of your self makes you happier which inturn conveys onto her.

Answer 7

She is at the age where children test their limits. Be consistent and have patience. She is trying to be independent and learn. This is the easy time, just wait till she is a teenager.

Answer 8

Are you getting down on her level and looking her in the eye when you talk to her? That's how we've always had to talk to my son (who is now 4). It's the only way to be sure he's listening.

Answer 9

i saw this on that nanny show on tv, but it really worked for that family. you give her a flower pot and 10 fake flowers. every time she does something good, you give her a flower to put in the pot. after she has 10 flowers, she gets a special prize. but you can only give them to her when she does something good. they can't be "bribes" for good behavior. also, use a naughty chair. more than likely you will have to put her in it quiet a few times before she learns that you will put her back in it. she will throw a fit, but she'll stay in the chair.

Answer 10

ok, don't spank her first of all that will only make her more defiant towards you, try talking to her on her level, and give her time outs when she needs them, try not to yell a lot either, because that never works