I am a non-Christian, my gf is a strict Catholic, we disagree on our wedding ceremony plans, any advice?

Question

My girlfriend and her family are strict Catholics, and I am insisting that she have the traditional Catholic/Christian wedding that her god approves of, and that frankly she has always dreamed about.

But her parents and her are strong believers that marriage should be a compromise and that we should have a split ceremony, first a traditional Catholic one, then a ceremony traditional to my religion where we make small incisions on our wrists and let our blood mix together in two chalices. The first of which we burn as a sacrafice to Dortoh the pagan god of marriage as the participants chant in greek thanking Dortoh for bring us together, the second of which we burn as an offering of our combined love to satan.

What's the best way to have this split ceremony, and where should we have it?

Answer 1

I can only assume this is a joke question. No strict Catholic would want to give an offering to satan! Dortoh??? lol

Answer 2

First of all - you don't just marry "a girl" - you marry into a family - if influence is already causing problems - you're set up for a lifetime of heartache and grief.

Second of all - with this kind of religious differentiality - experience and common sense will rule that the problems have not even begun - and you're not married yet

Third - what might seem to be trivial and can reach some solution now - after I do, is an insurmountable mountain that has a glaze of ice on it and you will find no peace or harmony in this marriage - and the hardest things is to realize you can love someone and still know that the differences, even though they shouldn't matter - do - a lot - and because they do - they cause problems - if not today, which you're actually fortunate they've shown themselves before the wedding, this way you can call it off without the heartache of trying and failing - they will show themselves after the I do's - and very possibly not to far into the marriage.

You have much to consider here - there is ulterior motive in all families actions - don't underestimate what I have said - I'm on a third marriage for a reason and speak from experience.

Answer 3

Wow - I think you're awfully lucky that HER parents are the ones willing to compromise. It usually doesn't work that way. Religious folks are often extremely rigid.

I think your best bet is to spend a lot of time as a group going over the particulars of the ceremony you have in mind. This way there will be no last minute surprises, such as "Oh, wait a minute, I didn't know this was REAL blood you were talking about!!!" Once everyone's agreed on the plan, you can then proceed to do as you like and disregard the opinions of secondary characters in this, such as extended family, nosy neighbors, etc.

Answer 4

The best thing to do is not get married with such differing beliefs. If she is really a "strict" Catholic, then she knows she is not supposed to marry someone who is not a Catholic. And according to her religion, your children MUST be raised as Catholics.

If God really is the most important thing in your life, how can you marry someone who doesn't share the same God? Isn't that asking for trouble? I mean, if you can't share the most important thing in life, what kind of marriage is that?

Answer 5

You are a complete nut! If anyone reads all the way thru' your question, they'll be cracking up laughing. A Satanist and a Catholic go into a marriage.......sounds like the beginning of a really bad joke, doesn't it? There is no way that "strict" Catholics would okay any sort of "devil worship", so either they don't understand, or you are pulling our collective leg--and I believe the latter.

Answer 6

Elizabeth
"I can't believe your first answerer was such a sucker. I wonder how many more you'll catch."

Looks like 10 out of 14 so far. do people not read the details?

I think I would do the wrist slitting before marrying a catholic though.

Oh, and Carol M is a whore

Thanks for the great laugh

Answer 7

As a Catholic, I don't believe you.

A traditional Catholic family wants their children to get married in the Catholic Church, period!!! There is no such thing as a "split ceremony."

Holy Matrimony is one of the 7 Sacraments of the Catholic Church.

Answer 8

Try not having a split ceremony. My Aunt is a strict roman catholic, and her husband was baptist (biiig nono). They ended up having a non-denominational ceremony; the 'priest' that does the ceremony is usually very goot at incorporating whatever the couple and their families want :)

Congrats, by the way.

Answer 9

No, this is not real, any strict catholic would never allow or accept such a pagan service.

Plus a pagan such as yourself wouldn not be allowed a Catholic wedding anyway.

And a wedding with a person who is strict christian would never work anyway.

Answer 10

Wow, pagan marries strict catholic?! Is she crazy or just stupid? Her God doesn't approve of marriage to a pagan let alone a stupid ceremony.