are there other parents like this?

Question

1].parents who don't give their kids whatever they ask for.

2].parents who often don't let their kids go places for security reasons such as kidnapping.

3]. parents who "spank" their children...not beat but spank occasionally.

4]. parents who ground their children or take away privelages.

reply with the number 1, 2, 3, or 4. and put why you do so.

Answer 1

1- If it's something they NEED, then we discuss it. She may or may not get it. If it's expensive there's a good chance she doesn't get it until a holiday or Bday.

2- I have to know the people she's with, and the parent taking them somewhere, and where they are going and about what time to expect them home. At 13, I still feel they are to young to make the smartest choices. I also must have a cell # so I can contact them if needed.

3- Spank, not anymore but when she was 1-8 yrs old we did. Not hard, but across the butt just enough to hurt her feelings. Only had to do it a couple times. Parents you CAN NOT threaten to take something away, or spank them or ground them and then not follow thru.

4- Grounding...If chores are not done we make her stop what she's doing and go do them. If she fusses, then No computer for a day or even a week. It depends. If she going to be late, she must call us.

This was a tough one for us. She was at the fair a couple weeks ago and was told to be at the truck right after the fireworks start because we ALWAYS leave just before they are over--ALWAYS (this was no new news) She come running to the truck 6 minutes AFTER the fireworks with a lame excuss. (it took us 40min to get out and had to work the next am) I told her No fair tomarrow like you had planned --INSTANT Tears--those tears never stopped the rest of the night.

The next am she got up and helped around the yard and we decided that the lesson had been learned and we let her go. She then understood there would be a punishment if rules aren't followed.
It wasn't a horrible thing she did - however, she new the rules, yet didn't make the time slot we set. She had been there since noon and it was now 10pm.

I think I felt as bad as she did, but thats life, she learned her lesson and knows if there's a next time she won't get off so easy.

Parents MUST teach their children right or wrong. Parent 1st then a friend.

I see alot of kids who treat their parents like crap, or push their parents on everything. All kids will, the difference is ours knows when to stop.
We've got a Great daughter and we want her to be a good person with good morals.

Answer 2

1. No I do not give my kids everything the want because it won't teach them anything(especially as they get older). If you teach a child at a young age to go into a store and not buy anything, you will not have embarassing temper tantrums at the age of five.

2. My daughters, 5 and 3 never go outside without me. I don't want to be a parent who says when there child is gone, "I only left them alone for one minute." Because that's all it takes.

3. I only spank my children if they do something terrible. I usually only have to "give them the look" and they know not to do something. Telling a kid "use your inside voice" is a bunch of crap. How often does that actually work?

4. My kids aren't old enough to get grounded yet, but they will be when they get older. No car, phone, computer, etc. teaches them that there are consequences for their actions.

Just a sidenote: I was at a wedding recently, and there were quite a few kids there. A complete stranger said to me, "You're children are so well behaved." People do notice polite and respectful kids. I'd rather them be known as the good kids rather than the "brats". Good luck.

Answer 3

1...prepare them for the real world because you won't get everything you want and things don't always go the way you want them too either

2...you can't trust everyone and accidents do happen whether you are around or not but I prefer to be there even if it is something I can't control at least when they ask where the hell was their parents I can say I was there and dealt with the situation the best to my abilty

3...sometimes a kid might need a spanking now and then but never beat a child...they are only children and will learn as time goes on not by being beat

4...yes a child should always know what they stand to loose when they don't behave as they should...cause in real life things are taking away from you too

AS A PARENT I stand by all statements

Answer 4

I am like all of 1234
I do not want spoiled children who expect to be given everything without earning it
children who are raised this way grow up rude and insensitive

I do not allow my children to be unsupervised or go to unsafe places

an occasional swat gets the point across when everything else fails but it is a rarity that it comes to that
I always try to remember that most parents who beat their kids do so when angry at them which is just a grown up temper tantrum and will do my children no good
I take away favorite toys or privileges and it has always worked
you do not get to act up in our home and then get to do as you please
we also have what is called hassle time
where if my children hassle me while I am cleaning or on the phone then right in the middle of a favorite movie game project whatever I hassle them I get a book sit in the room and they get to vacuum or dust or fold laundry etc

Answer 5

1. because in the real world you don't always get what you want, if they get it as a young child they will always want it when ever they ask...( a spoiled brat)

2. because I love him and I would rather not take the risk( a mad child is better than a missing child)

3. because sometimes a simple time out to reflect on what you've just done is not going to work on a 3 year old who has totally went against your warning and ran into the road/ or ran threw the store , he knows he's not allowed but yet he is testing his limits ..if the punishment is a bit harsh he will think twice about doing it again( a spanked child is better than an out of control child)

4. again back to real life I don't pay a bill on time..I get to pay a late payment or lose service they don't do what's exspect after the rules have been clearly set they get punished( spoiled )

Answer 6

1 - If you give them everything they ask for they expect it and it's not a treat anymore. Parents are not required to buy their kids anything but their necessities.

2 - This one is self explanitory. It's a security reason.

3 - Spare the rod spoil the child. I believe that! I totally agree with spanking, not beating, a child.

4 - Bad behavior has consequences. Spanking doesn't work with every kid but taking their things away sometimes does.

Answer 7

3)We never hit our children because violence doesn't teach, it frightens. It is well documented that spanking causes aggression and drives behavior underground, rather than changing it.

1)Because we've never put our kids in daycare, because we don't hit them, because we talk to them, because we homeschool them, funny thing - they don't ask for much. They never even wrote Christmas gift wish lists until this year. We definitely don't give them everything they ask for, 3) we definitely monitor where they go for security reasons.

4)We don't really need to ground or take away privileges, because our children really don't misbehave. Again, no day care, no hitting, gentle instruction, loving guidance - this has left them so bonded and attached, that the desire all children have to please their parents wasn't crushed by us mistreating them, and, therefore, there is rarely ever a time when the kids need correction.

We are constantly told by relatives, doctors, neighbors, strangers, that our boys are so amazingly polite, smart, and gentle. For what it's worth.

Answer 8

I do not have kids but I guarantee you I will be doing all 4 when I do have kids. Not enough parents do any of those aforementioned discipline tactics. This is why there are so many young bratty children who grow up to be adult bratty children. It is healthy for a child to not get everything they ask for. I was spanked on my bottom when I was acting up and I sure learned quick. As I got into teenage years....I actually got smacked in the face a few times by my mother. I have no resentment....Ive actually thanked her before for the way she disciplined me. Its made me into a well rounded, self sufficient, respectable young adult (23 years). Good post!

Answer 9

Yes, My husband and I are those parents. Why do we do it? Not quite sure, Maybe it is the way we were raised. We turned out pretty good. I believe parents should run the house, not the children. If more parents were like this, maybe the world would not be in the shape it is in today. I think children would grow up with respect for others instead of this attitude that they are the only ones in the world. I'm greatfull to my mother and stepdad for being so protective. I wasn't then, but Thanks Mom!

Answer 10

Yes to all 4...
1, I don't want my kids to think just because they want something they will get it. If it is something they really beg for, I will pay for part and make them do chores to earn the rest.
2, I want to know where my kids are at all times and who they are with... too many freaky people in the world today!
3, I spank them to get their attention and to let them know that "hey, this is serious"
4, I ground and take away stuff(not always effective), but I do it anyway. Especially my oldest(he's almost 16)...if I tell him he is grounded for the weekend, and can't go to his girlfriends house, it straightens his butt right up!!