Finding it hard to keep my faith - suggestions?

Question

I am a Christian , and have been a believer since a young age. I'm now 25 and I sometimes find it difficult just to believe. It almost seems like it was a fairytale to begin with. I miss the relationship though and tho I've tried, I can't seem to get it back. Suggestions?

Answer 1

This happens to a fair number of people in their twenties. It happened to me and I was in the middle of seminary. So don't sweat it.

First off. Hang in there for a little while. Don't bail on Christianity yet. But, try looking at things in a new way. Check out Christian mysticism and learn some meditative techniques. Try practicing a new spiritual discipline.

R.J. Foster wrote a great book called Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth. It's a great book and practicing a new spiritual discipline might breathe new life into your spirituality.

You can buy it at Amazon http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060628391/104-5481759-6749567?v=glance&n=283155

If Christianity still isn't working for you then start looking at other paths (This is where I went). But, take it slow and easy. Changing faith is never easy and you can end up feeling pretty conflicted.

Also find a non-judge mental friend you can talk to about what you’re feeling. Just having someone to vent to can be a big help.

Another thing you might want to try is walking into a Catholic Church and go to confession. Okay, I know this sounds weird but priests are really good listeners and many of them have gone through the Dark Night of the Soul so they can be a big help. Just shoot straight with them and if you're not Catholic tell them. Tell them you feel a little weird doing it too. Who knows your higher power just might lead you to the right priest.

Another great books are:

Care of the Soul : A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life By Thomas Moore

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060922249/sr=1-1/qid=1153619107/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-5481759-6749567?ie=UTF8&s=books

and: Dark Nights of the Soul: A Guide to Finding Your Way Through Life's Ordeals, also by Thomas Moore.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1592400671/ref=pd_sim_b_2/104-5481759-6749567?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance&n=283155

Okay I've rambled enough: If you want to fire me an e-mail with more questions, feel free.

Peace be with you.

Pablito

Answer 2

Questioning authority is something that is very healthy in society. Examine what it is that you are having trouble believing in. Is it the immaculate conception? (you did specify you are christian so I am working with what I know of this.)

Consider that the church you go to does quite a bit of interpretation. For instance, the original hebrew term that now reads "virgin" originally meant "a woman who has not borne a child" which is a far cry from not having had any relationships.

If you find the interpretations of your church to be lacking, or not following what in your heart you believe, you might try a different sect. You do not say if you are Lutheran or Catholic or what, but there are many Christian sects out there. If none of those suit you there is always Buddism and a variety of others. Then there is wicca, and other spiritual based beliefs that you could learn about.

If I knew WHY you are losing faith I probably could be a little more specific. For instance if you said, I am losing my faith because I prayed not to be betrayed and yet I was betrayed... then I would probably mention the Buddist belief that there is no such thing as betrayal. All that happens does so in order to teach you something so that you can grow in spirit. (this of course can be used as an explaination for many of the tragic things that happen in our lives.) Then I would have you ask yourself what did you learn? And when you get past the feeling sorry for yourself and really look at the lesson, hey guess what? That was a terrific thing to learn!!!!

If what you have learned is something like, the system is failing to take care of me, then you need to look at what steps you can take to a. take care of yourself and b. change the system to help those in need.

I do not know if I have been of any comfort here, but I believe I have tried to give you some new perspective and more than just telling you to give up on your faith entirely.

Answer 3

The difficulty is that you will always have doubts. Even Jesus on the cross had doubts and finally had to say, "Father not my will, but yours."

The times when I am tested I go to the wilderness. There is so much beauty in the world that it definitely shows me there is not some simple primordial soup that caused all of this. God is real and the only thing we can not say is we understand Him or His path.

You have a choice - either God is real and we have a wonderful life after death in belief through Jesus, or this is it and we end at the moment of death. Which offers the most possibilities? Which is more fulfilling?

Possibly a different church may help. I went to Catholic church for years without any satisfaction. I now go to a nondenominational church that is great. Look for what is good for you. Do realize that religion is kind of like poker. There is only one royal flush, only one winning hand. Jesus is the royal flush and only those who believe in him will go to the Kingdom of Heaven. Simply find a new path!

Answer 4

I had that problem, myself. The hardest part of finding faith when you're of a certain religion from a young age is trying to figure out what you believe. You've been told what to believe for a long time and now it doesn't seem to fit, right?

Christians will tell you to pray, to visit a clergyman, to read and study your bible, to find a fellowship with people you feel comfortable with. If you want to be Christian, then those would all be good suggestions.

I would suggest that you meditate on it. By that, I mean sit in a place where you have no distractions and you're comfortable, relax, and then simply think about what it is that you do believe in, deep inside. Try to understand yourself and what's most important to you. You do have faith in something, everyone does. Sometimes it's hard to figure out what that something is, sometimes you just know it.

Once you know what you believe, what suits you, what you feel is real and right, that's when you can figure out the religion-faith thing. I found it hard to be a Christian when I believe that the only thing that can save me from pain and suffering is me. You might find that you still have faith, it just makes more sense in a different denomination. It might help to study various religions and belief systems academically. Unfortunately, it seems that angst and soul-searching are par for the course.

Something that'll probably be a problem is the lack of respect a crisis of faith will bring you. Christians you were a part of are required by faith to try to bring you back into fold. Others will try to do same thing. Some will try to sway you to their religion--not out of any recruiting efforts but most likely because it brings them satisfaction and they want to share it. Non-religious folks will try to talk you out of religion. It's a human thing, I'm thinking, to try to get others to agree or see things our own way. It can make things hard to figure out when you're getting recruitment campaigns from people who are just trying to help. That means me, too.

In the end, your faith is meant to bring you peace. If it's not, then find your real faith, the faith that really brings you peace.

Answer 5

You say you miss the relationship-- implying at one time, you had it, so you know it to be true. What happened that you lost it? Try to find that, and whatever it is that drew you away from God, get rid of it. How have you tried to get it back? There may be something in your life keeping you from God. I would talk with a sympathetic friend, or a pastor about it. Everyone is unique, and although people may offer suggestions on here, only someone who knows you better, someone you can get into an actual discussion with, would be able to suggest something that fits your life. Good luck.

Answer 6

God is always there for you. When you have had that personal relationship, and it seems like a distant memory, you have probably stepped out of that relationship in favor of something else. That is why he sent his son Jesus, because he cannot have fellowship where there is sin. But if you have returned to your sin, and let other things take that number one place in your life, then you will not feel his presence. If you truly do not know what sins you are holding onto, or what things you have idolized and let take the place of God in your life, pray that those things will be revealed to you so you can get to that place again. Get back in the word, as well, I would recommend starting with Romans and James. I am praying for you!

Answer 7

I'm sure you've heard this - and know this - but doubts come from Satan. That doesn't mean that you should feel guilty for them, rather acknowledge them and be thankful for what you might learn from them.

The only things I can think to recommend are intensive prayer and (at least) daily reading of the Bible. I find that when I start to doubt something about God, it helps me to immerse myself with the proof and promises of his character that I'm currently doubting. Sometimes, additional (Christian) literature is very helpful in that, as somebody else might see something I missed or take notice of a point in a manner that I'd not considered, and it will thrust a new awareness on me.

Do you go to church? If so, talk to people there. Explain your problem, and if they shun you or judge you for it, then find a new church. If you don't go to church, I'd recommend a non-denominational church. I can't tell you how often I've had something on my mind, or tugging at my heart, only to go to church and have my doubts dispelled or my question(s) answered by that very sermon. Sometimes, the music chosen for worship is what speaks to me (rather than the actual sermon). But rarely a Sunday goes by when I don't draw something immediately useful and immensely applicable from either the sermon, the music, or both. It really helps strengthen my faith and keep me in tune to God.

Pray with people. There should be people at your church who are willing to pray with you. Attend a small group if you can (that is, convene with other Christians and reinforce your Christian community - that alone should work wonders). Ask your pastor for relevant verses that might help dispel your doubts and show you the truth of God and his promises.

I truly hope that you are successful in this, and God bless!

p.s. I just wanted to share with you a verse that I really like, and might be pertinent to your situation:

Luke 11: 24-26
24"When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.' 25 When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. 26 Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first."

I see that as applicable to your situation, because the demon that was driven away when you asked Jesus into your heart has come knocking at the door to your heart again. The worldly influences that have inundated you over the years are surely not helping, and I'm sure it's only natural to feel so weak and unsure at times. Please don't despair...God is there:

1 Corinthians 10:13b
And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Answer 8

Service With Strength

Colossians 1:10-12

Ministry isn’t something we do, but rather, it is something God does through us. So much fatigue and failure could be avoided if believers remembered that He is the source of strength. We serve Him using Spirit-provided resources. “Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass,” promises the Word (1 Thessalonians 5:24). This means that the Lord assumes responsibility for enabling His children to carry out whatever work He calls them to do.

The Savior exemplifies this principle — He also did His earthly work through divine power. Upon His return from the wilderness, Jesus was filled with the Holy Spirit, and He came preaching a Gospel of repentance. Here is what He said of Himself: “Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father is in Me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own initiative, but the Father abiding in Me does His works” (John 14:10).

As co-heirs with Christ, believers are entitled to access that same spiritual strength. What a comfort to know that a divinely ordained ministry is not in our hands alone! Some other person may be able to do the work better or offer wider experience, but God does not look for servants who are gifted. He instead seeks out those willing to live in His strength. If we have done all we can through the power of the Holy Spirit, then we never have to wonder if we have done enough.

Are you discouraged? Tired? Ready to give up? God is ready to restore you to joyful service if you will simply ask Him to do His work through you.

Ephesians 4:11-16

Spiritual Growth:

Kids love to show off their height. They eagerly anticipate being tall enough to do all the things that their short stature currently prevents. Many parents record and celebrate their children’s growth, following the old tradition of marking heights on a doorframe.
God the Father also measures His children’s growth — He delights in seeing us reach new levels of spiritual maturity so that we can accept greater responsibility.
Because a new believer is like a little child in faith, his or her kingdom tasks are, at first, light. God is beginning the transformation process that will grow a saved human being into the image of Christ. The call to servanthood requires us to do as the Lord Jesus did: act humbly on behalf of our fellow man. When we successfully minister where we are called, new opportunities will open up and offer fresh challenges.
Spiritual growth impacts our fruitfulness; the longer we’ve been believers, the greater our service should be. That does not mean tasks will be highly visible. Satan tries to convince people that some jobs are trivial, but the moment a believer falls for that lie, growth is stunted. God will promote those who put forth the best effort, no matter what the task is.
Every opportunity to bless others honors the Lord and increases a believer’s wisdom and stature before Him. Much of God’s work goes on where only He can see it. But He is always measuring His children for future service, gauging how much closer we are to His goal for us and what new task will draw us closer still.

Answer 9

Study others - Religions are like rivers to the sea, some meander a long time before they get there. You don't have to take the river, you can go directly to the sea. Maybe you recognize that there is a higher spiritual truth and that all the distortions and things introduced by man are interfering with that quest (nothing personal against Christians, I think a spiritual life is important).

Answer 10

First you have to remember that you have no faith.
God is the author of faith. He is the only one who can produce faith in your life. He will produce and perfect faith in your life if you trust His will, His perfect will for your life.
I can only assume that this started when you began to doubt at some point. Go back to the faith of your youth. Do not let it slip away. As you get older, you will see things that will make you doubt. Back up and remember how far you have come. Look upon the high spots and navigate the treacherous paths in this world until you are presented whole and pure to Him on that day. Post agin if you need more information.