which would you rather be? a tattle-tale or a liar? please help??

Question

my mom told me to tell her if i see my bro smoking (because he is supposed to be quitting) so if i tell her, then my bro gets pissed at me and calls me a tattle tale b*tch and if i don't tell, then my bro will keep on smoking and i'll be lying to my parents.
i'm 16, so it's really annoying being called a tattle tale because usually ppl get called that when they are like 5. lol
but do think it's DUMB of my parents to put me in a position where everytime i do what they tell me to do, that i get verbally attacked by my bro?
what should i do??

i'm allergic to cigarette smoke too. so it's not only dangerous to him, but also to me.

Answer 1

This hits home for me on so many levels...
I don't know how old your brother is, but if he isn't grown up enough to not hide things from your parents then that is his problem, cause they will find out the truth sooner or later.

Your parents shouldn't be putting you in the position to lie or tell the truth when it comes to siblings.

Honestly, I think you need to sit down with your parents and say " I don't want to be in the middle of this, it is not your job to parent your brother or snitch on him for every little thing that he does...Tell your parents that they already know he is smoking and that he probably isn't going to stop, and now that they know that then you can stop telling on him....Ask that they repect your position"

Tell your brother when he calls you tattle tale btch, that if he was man enough he wouldn't be lying to cover his butt, and that he would face his parents and take responsibility for his own actions.

He is going to be mad either way it goes...And most kids never want to own up to their actions.
To answer your question in general, yes it is better to be tattle tale than a liar, because you are only as good as your word and if no one can trust you, and you never own up to the truth which always comes out in the end then people will never beleive what you say..and You may need your parents to believe you and know the truth cause if you lie to them now you may have more problems in the future.
good luck

When I was younger my sister told my dad on my and my mother and she was a big hypacrit cause later she started smoking as well...When I owned up to what was going on It was a lot easier than keeping all these secrets inside.
Then you don't have to remember what the truth or which one was a lie.

Answer 2

I was the tattle tale in my family and everyone knew it. It didn't turn out so well for me. I think my advice would be to remain neutral as if you didn't hear or say anything. Really.. Is it your responsibility to catch your brother's bad decisions?! He should grow up and figure out that smoking is bad for himself. Then he can quit if he realizes it isn't good. As for your parents.. let them figure it out for themselves. They aren't stupid. They can smell or notice he was missing for 10 minutes at random. My advice is just say ok and then not do anything about it. With that said, save the tattling for when he does something really really dumb!

Answer 3

Your mom is helping ruin your relationship with your brother. You would not be a tattle tale in this case, but you would be her spy. That is wrong. I suggest telling your mother and brother together that you are not going to get sucked into this anymore. Tell them you love them both, you hope your brother will stop killing himself, and obviously, he must smoke outside, not in the house.

Your brother's addiction is his responsiblity. Can your mom take him for nicorette?

Your mother might develop a positive reward system to reward your brother when he doesn't smoke. She shouldn't be chasing after to 'catch him.' It's clear - he's not motivated and he will sneak. You're not needed anymore for that, right?

Answer 4

It is better to tattle tail than lie!
Tell your parents just that it puts you in a hard position to TELL on your brother. Do not worry about it think of it protecting your brother, wouldn't you want him to tell your parents IF you were doing something dangerous?
Smoking is against their rules he can smoke when he gets older, you did not say how old he is...
IF he is over 18 tell your parents he is an adult and you are not going to tel on him.
IF he is younger he is not supposed to be smoking in many states the limit is over 16 or17 .
In some places they are trying to raise it to 21!
YOUR job while you live with your parents is to follow their rules not your brothers. THEY are providing the roof over your head and his, if he lives at home. So I would snitch! HE can only make fun of you they can ground you.
SOMEDAY he might thank you for helping.
Do not worry about names that he calls you.
HECK my brother and sister both BEAT ME UP for snitching on them and I still did it...because my step dad used a belt!

Answer 5

well if he is an older brother and is over 18, just look at it as, he is and adult and can make his own decisions. You don't want to ruin your relationship with your brother and the best way to handle it is to tell your parents that upfront. If they insists then when they ask or even out of the blue approach them and just say, " I think he may be smoking again" and phrase it in a way where you are helping your concerned parents,but not flat out giving your brother up.

Answer 6

Tell your brother to quit doing things in front of you and you won't have anything to tell. Your brother needs to grow up and take his habits somewhere else. If he's busy smoking, he can do it elsewhere since he apparently knows he's not supposed to be doing it.

Answer 7

If he's that mad at you, that's a problem, because he's smoking. You'll have to be the "tattle-tale" if you want what's best for him.

Answer 8

Who knows? Your Tattling could/might keep him from developing a habit he can't quit,maybe save his life.

Answer 9

is there a way to tell and not let your brother know it was you? ask your mom to be confidential about it or find a way to have your brother's smoking revealed without you saying anything

Answer 10

Well, if you love your brother, tell. It's dangerous to smoke and he could kill himself. He'll eventually understand that you're doing it because you love him.