ive been dating someone for 5 years and broke up 4 months ago .. and i want him back ... i asked him to go for a coffee today but he said no coz he doesnt want attatchments??? is it possible he wants me too??? how can i get him back??? i really miss him ... and i dont want him to get over me... i really want him back altho we had a few probs previously but for ***** sakes 5 years!!!! pls let me know what i can do ...
2006-07-22 12:56:41 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Unfortunately there's nothing that you can do but respect his wishes. Ask him out to coffee again as friends, no attachments. If he says he doesn't want to be bothered with you respect him. Play by his rules without degrading yourself. The last thing you want to do is become psycho It's going to hurt and it's going to be hard but it takes two people to be in a relationship not one. If he loves you the way you do him then he'll come back. Don't hop into a new relationship right away. Get yourself strong and empower yourself, if in that time he isn't back, move on. Don't give up on happiness, some one out there is ready and willing.
2006-07-22 13:03:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a mature answer, since I'm 60, but it isn't one you'll like.
If he dated you for 5 years without asking you to marry him, he was keeping his options open. You were handy enough, and probably fun to be with, mostly, but he hoped he could do better. It looks to me like he found someone else.
It is possible he wants you and is playing hard to get. I'd say the odds of that are 10,000:1.
You can't get him back. You might get sympathy sex if you begged and pleaded and got him a little drunk, but I would hope you'd have more class than that.
Not all life's problems have easy answers. At least you don't have three children by him, who are now going to have to live on AFDC.
2006-07-22 13:10:42 · answer #2 · answered by Adam Zapple 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey girl, you have known your man for five years, so you know exactly how he is... honestly you can look at it in two prespective and that is maybe he's so hurt by the situation that he is trying to get over it or maybe there is a little hope and he's just playing hard with you so that you cry back for him.... talk with him and ask him if he sees the both of you together in the future... that answer should resolve your situation... keep in mind let the one you love go and if he comes back then it was meant to be.... girls take five years to heart...guys they don't care...they look for new starts....Good luck
2006-07-22 13:13:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a lost cause, after five years, and he want's no attachments, he's telling you, something.
If you are willing to be with him, and have no commitments, then tell him so.
But if you are looking for a secure relationship that will end in a marriage, then its time to say good bye to him.
It's sad that you gave him five years of your life, but all you can do is, think of it fondly and move on.
It seems he has already. If he won't even have coffee with you, it's all over, hon, sorry, but that's the hard fact of life.
2006-07-22 13:06:26 · answer #4 · answered by johnb693 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best way for you to get him back is telling him how you trully feel. Tell him how is the seperation affecting you. I'm not trying to look weak. Just tell him what your heart feels. It is possible that he will get attached by you again. I somehow think he still loves you for he saying that. He has to listen. He can't forget those five years. I mean, that's beautiful. Open your heart to him, and let him listen. He has to put his part, too. I wish you the best, girl. Good Luck!
2006-07-22 14:12:07 · answer #5 · answered by Drivliam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as it hurts, you have to move on! If he's not looking forward to seeing you it means he's moved on and doesn't miss you much! After 5 yrs he probably got tired and wants something new and you should move on just like him! It's gonna be very hard because they say in love one always loves more than the other and in this case its obviously you! But you have to overcome this and try not to call him, if he calls you it means he misses you but if he doesn't, don't even waste your time! Move on, it will be the best thing for you!
2006-07-22 13:04:38 · answer #6 · answered by xSilverStarx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find out where to go in your life...what you want out of it.
It's time to move on. Rediscover what you like to do in your life on your own, and start doing it. Find yourself someone new, and get married and have lots of pretty babies.
Let it go, move on, and if you need it, talk to a therapist to help deal with the pain. You'll probably realise that you've been in a 5 year rutt.
Good luck, girl! I'm one of those guys out there, so I'm rooting for you!
2006-07-22 13:06:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do u think he has moved on and find someone else. Was u the one that wanted to broke up was it him. U could write him and tell him just u feel. But the best thing to do is to move on. Since he could have already moved on since he said no to u.
2006-07-22 13:11:03 · answer #8 · answered by Chris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it...but it sounds like he has or is tryin to move on...if he didn't even want to go for coffee, just a simple gesture that you want to be friends..then I'd say try to move on..I know 5 years is alot of time, but if he doesn't want a relationship..don't waste any more time. good luck.
2006-07-22 13:02:12 · answer #9 · answered by jessdjnick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have some self respect,lady.eventhough it's been five years,you have to let go.i been there too and it's really hard but you have to accept that there are things beyond our control.he says no attachments so he's not worth the trouble.you'll end up lonely if you'll push things now.let time heals.be strong!
2006-07-22 13:08:50 · answer #10 · answered by mckuliti 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋