They keep running around my legs, pulling on my pants, and singing fruity little songs. I'm about tempted to beat them in the head with a shovel. Is this Christianly, or will I burn in the fiery pits of Satan's fury for this?
2006-07-22 12:43:09 · 9 answers · asked by gaybobbarker 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Perhaps instead of a shovel, you could use a bible. Then your excuse would be that you were trying to get some Christianity into their heads.
I don't think Satan likes elves too much, so I don't think he'd put you into his firepits for hurting the elves. Perhaps instead you'd go into some kind of elven limbo where every day you'd have to do the bidding of the little ones. Maybe you should just start wearing shorts, maybe then they couldn't reach your bottoms.
2006-07-22 16:17:04 · answer #1 · answered by Moxie1313 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dear gaybobbarker
judging from the facts, i would say those elves are horny little devils...especially singing those fruity songs (we all know what that means, right?)
Christianity make no mention of elves and i don't think satan will mind if you fake an orgasm in order to get rid of these elves.
Even better, you could lay back and enjoy it!
wishing you the best of luck.
AS ALWAYS
POMDOEPOL
2006-07-22 19:58:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of south beach, and you will not have the problem. When you do, avoid San Fransisco, Seattle, and Texas.
2006-07-22 19:46:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They work for Keebler and probably need to borrow a cup of sugar. I don't think you'll burn in hell if you hurt them but they might put exlax in your cookies.
2006-07-22 19:58:58 · answer #4 · answered by CosmicKiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude.
You got some bad blotter paper.
2006-07-22 19:48:51 · answer #5 · answered by NickofTyme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are called kids. Be nice to them.
2006-07-22 19:50:01 · answer #6 · answered by Grog The Fish 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand what you are asking. My advice to you is to act wisely
2006-07-22 19:48:34 · answer #7 · answered by lucky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you got in your pants that they want so much?...Huh?
2006-07-22 20:24:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Didn't you tell them to "come on down?"
2006-07-22 19:59:08 · answer #9 · answered by keri gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋