I am pregnant and i am 14.What should I do now?

Question

I am worried about myself,what is my family going to think,what is my boyfriend gonna say when i tell him i am pregnant.I need you,adults to conult me somehow.I am soooo frustrated.help me please ,people.

Answer 1

A prenatal exam usually includes a HIV/AIDS test. You very well could test positive. If this is the case, I would highly suggest considering adoption. There are drugs now they will give you that gives your baby a very good chance at being born negative. Adoption is the only choice. You will be too sick to care for the child by the time it reaches junior high.

Answer 2

Hi paigie,

Lots of people have provided some constructive ideas for your question, and some have provided criticism.....
what is most important at this time for you is to be with people who will be supportive and gentle with you while you make some very hard life choices.

I was once in the same place as you, many years ago, I am now 42, I decided to go ahead with the birth of my baby and then put him up for adoption.This was a good decision for me as he would have opportunities that I knew I could not provided at the time.
I did not have a reliable family support system that could help me through this , had the case been different, I may have made different choices.I have to say that down the track I am happy with the choice I made, it was right for me.
In those days there was little to offer in the way of community support either.

Being that none of us really know all your circumstances,

I would suggest that you speak face to face with someone you trust, it can be an aunt, an uncle, a teacher or maybe one of your mums freinds that you get along well with..... maybe they could be there for you whilst you tell your parents....or at the very least take you to see a Health proffessional that can educate you about some of the options available for you.
Most importantly, you are the one who has to make the choice about what is right for you, listen to all the suggestions with an open mind , ask lots of questions, then make the choice that is going to allow you to sleep well at night.
Finally I would like to think that we live in a society now , that supports it's youth , if I were there with you now the first thing I would do is give you a big hug and tell you that you are ok, you are not bad for whats happened, it is just the way life works out sometimes....

best wishes to you and I hope everything works out....

Answer 3

First of all, I can't believe some of the answers to this post. If there ever was evidence that the human race is going to hell in a hand basket, all they have to do is read of some of these vicious, insensitive answers!

First, take a deep breath and tell your folks. They might yell a little, but mostly it will be because of shock and surprise. They will settle down, and if you have a good relationship with them for the most part, they will be there for you.

You do need to tell your boyfriend. For one thing, he is responsible for the financial welfare of the child. Once everyone knows and has a chance to process the information, things will settle down.

You need to decide on your options. I would never recommend abortion. For one thing, you are carrying a life inside you, and studies are showing that girls who have abortions suffer from emotional problems later in life. You can place the baby up for adoption. Many agencies have what is called "open adoption" where you can meet the adoptive parents and get information on how the child is doing.

Of course, there are other options, and you need to sit down with your folks and a good counselor and decide what will be best.

Finally, OK, you made a poor choice and you have to deal with the consequences, but you will become stronger and wiser as a result of this, and so will the people around you who love you.

Answer 4

Well, first thing that you need to do is to tell your mother. It will be hard, but you are going to have to do it. You need to get to the Dr as soon as you can so that you can get checked out and make sure that the baby is okay. As for your boyfriend, if he is any kind of man at all, (assuming that he is your age) then if he really likes you, and cares for you, then he will stick by you and take responsibility for his actions as well. It is just not your baby, its his too. You need to find someone to talk with, either your mother, an aunt, a school counselor, a friends mother, but you are going to have questions, and do not need to go through this alone or to be scared. What ever you do, stay in school, you will need your education to raise this baby with in the future. Don't listen to the people that are going to say that you are too young, and should not be having unprotected sex because by this time you already know that. I wish you the best of luck, and Hope you have a good strong healthy baby...

Answer 5

Tell your parents NOW.
Your boyfriend is too young to be a father as you are too young to be a mom.
You may not want to hear this - but if your parents will not help with the baby - my best advice for you AND all concerned is to put the baby up for adoption.
You can have open adoptions where you know the parents and stay in the child's life to some small degree.

DO NOT HAVE SEX ANYMORE. BE A KID.

I feel so bad for you but you can turn this around and start fresh. Good luck!

Answer 6

You need to sit down with your boyfriend and tell him about the baby since he's the father. Hopefully he's a responsible person and will accept the baby. Next you need to sit down with one of your parents--whoever you're closer to--or a close family member, and tell them your situation. You just need to be strong because in these matters, it is always extremely difficult to make everyone happy. Your parents, more than likely, will be angry because you are so young and already pregnant. But they are your parents, and they must support you. Your situation sounds very much like what happened to my friend--except he was the guy (18 or 19 at the time) who got a 15-year-old pregnant. You can refer to my answer to this question from a month ago, "Is it really considered rape if you want it?":http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Atjq0R5GewWH6PxVWtCGK8jsy6IX?qid=20060616125825AAE2WVj

I don't mean to scare you with that story, but it's just one thing to prepare for in case your parents don't accept your boyfriend and go to the level of pressing charges on him. (I'm guessing he's older than you, right? Is he 18?) Anyway, the important thing is to talk to someone about this. I hope everything turns out all right. I'm really rooting for you. Feel free to e-mail me and give me updates on your situation: [e-mail].

And don't worry, honey; you're not dumb, or stupid, or any of those bad things some of these other peeps are saying. (I've reported the worst offenders already--especially that one guy who said that horrible thing that I'm not going to repeat here.) No one needs to hear, "I told you so," or "you should have kept your legs shut...you should have thought of that before..." or anything like that after the fact. Right now you need love and understanding. Yes, I agree it was a mistake that you (and your boyfriend) made--but like Mello38(?) said, don't let anyone tell you the baby is a mistake. You have to be strong for yourself and for the baby. Don't let anyone talk you into abortion; you will just create more problems apart from the guilt it will bring you. I heard an older woman say one time--maybe she's like 45 right now--she was telling a younger woman, "...just don't abort your baby. I was young and stupid once, and I aborted my baby at 16--he was going to be a boy. I've regretted it ever since. I thought about him all the time; I never had any boys after that. Even now, every time I see a young man in his 20's, I think it could be my son."

I hope the best for you and your baby. Good luck...and be strong.

Answer 7

tell a parent
and if they make u have an abortion thats too bad
because u will live with that for the rest of ur life knowing u kill a baby someone who hasnt ever done anything and u had to kill it
i think u should have it and give it away
because ur not going to be a good mom ur 14
worthless
and its pointless to have sex b4 ur 21*stupid*u dont even have a g spot
u probably dont even know what that is
but u cant have an orgasm until ur 21 and then when ur 28 u hit ur sexual peak
and u should have though about all of this b4 u let someone worthless teenage boy get off on u duh!!

Answer 8

well first off i have 2 say..U FUKED UP.... I have a cuzin who was also pregnant at age 14...Just Make sure that u keep in ur studies caught up and talk to a counsler and little by little tell those that u need 2 that ur pregnant..Im sure ur family will bak u up 100%...ANd ur bf would if he really loves u and wants this child

REmember that its ur kid and it has the right 2 be wit its mother..u..and father unless he doesnt want 2..Dont have it adopted or have an obortion...that is like stabbin the kid wit a knife
Time will heal evertin..Just be happy that ur gonna be a MOMMY

Answer 9

You really need to talk to your parents.. This isn't going to go away and it's going to get really noticeable soon. After you talk with your parents, then tell your boyfriend. You are very young and I'm not sure if you will want the responsibility of raising a child and I doubt the boy will either. If not, you can put the child up for adoption, but remember if you choose to do so, it will be a long road ahead of you.

Answer 10

~*~ Your only option at this point is to talk to your parents or an aunt/uncle/cousin etc that you trust. The next thing that you need to do, depending on how far along you are is going to see an ob/gyn... As to what you should do with the baby, in my opinion, you are still way to young to keep a baby and raise it.. Its not up to your parents to raise your child for you.. You have the rest of your life ahead of you, and you aren't ready to raise the child.. In my opinion, abortion is wrong and its not the babys fault.. Adoption is the best answer for you.. Go through your pregnancy, eat healthy.. When your baby is born, give it to someone who will be able to provide financially and love it as if he/she was their own.. I wish you the best of luck.. ~*~

Answer 11

Tell them calmly and if you can not have a baby now, there are couples on top on couples crying themselves to sleep, their arms aching for a little baby to hold that they themselves can not make for one reason or another, go visit your local adoption center and find out how to meet a couple who will raise this baby as you wish you could yourself. THAT is love beyond yourself and it's that type of love that your baby deserves. You are not a bad person no matter what you choose. It's not all about you, as many will say...it's about the baby to and who it may become...who knows, maybe it will find the cure to cancer or bring peace or maybe it will be the most precious child to a long-awaited family-to-be...dream big for this one!
YOU ARE NOT DUMB. This baby is NOT a mistake, it may be accidental how it came to be conceived, but it will be born for a reason.