I have helped my sister a lot. I've only known her for a couple of years, because I lived with my mom & she lived with hers. Anyway, I helped her take care of her son & did things for her after her hernia surgery, I buy her things (not all the time, but just little things to say thanks), I help her with her scrapbooking & I let her borrow my things. Then today while I was helping her with her scrapbooking I notice that in one of her scrapbooks she says that our brother is her favorite person, besides her son. I understand why he would be one of her favorite people, because she's known him longer than she's known me & all, but I didn't think she would be so open about. Does anyone besides me think it was rude of her to put that in her scrapbook, where she knew I would see it? It really hurt me to see that she wrote it right there in the open. I don't want to say anything to her, because she'll just tell me I'm being too sensitive, but how can I avoid being hurt like this in the future?
2006-07-22 10:05:47 · 21 answers · asked by Goddess Princess Minky 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Okay. Maybe I didn't explain this carefully enough. I don't want to be her favorite person. I don't even care that our brother is her favorite person. I just don't want it rubbed in my face.
2006-07-22 10:15:15 · update #1
I don't expect anything in return! I do these things because I want to. I just don't appreciate having my nose rubbed in it that I haven't known her my whole, life so she likes me a little less. I though people weren't supposed to play favorites. Although most people do, I didn't expect her to. I thought that was beneath her.
2006-07-22 10:28:05 · update #2
just ignore it for now, when doing a good deed that should be self less, you are being good for her to make you feel good about urself aren't you???
2006-07-22 10:11:21 · answer #1 · answered by MuzRulz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey!
It wasn't right of her...but at the same time, maybe she didn't think it would hurt you or she didn't think you'd see it. Just because he is her favorite person in the whole world, doesn't mean that she does not appreciate you and love you. Since you guys only know each other for a few hours, can it be possible that he was there for her many times and in many special ways that you are not aware of?
Also...if she didn't have a father/male figure in her life...it's natural that she turns to her brother to provide that sort of male bonding/relationship in her life.
Don't be upset...if it really bothers you...talk to her about it. Tell her you love her and you want to make sure that she knows that you'll always be there for her. I am sure she'll open up back towards you.
Your relationship should not be a competition for her respect/love.
Good luck!
2006-07-22 17:13:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you really don't understand her closeness to her brother like you said you do. Or you would understand that she has a different type of relationship with him. Sure you helped do a lot of things for her but you weren't there for many special moments in ther life. And he has.
I became estranged from my father for 5 years as a teen and young adult. During that time I also lost touch with my cousins. Before my parent's split, which caused the estrangement, I was close to my cousins. But years later, when I met them again, we were all adults with new lives and experiences we hadn't shared. And when two of my cousins got married, they didn't invite me to participate in their bridal party or even go to their stagettes. I was alienated like a stranger or just a guest, although by that time I was back in my family for almost 10 years. So that separation causes more strife that you realise at the moment. And it changes your relationships. You are as close to her as a sister-in-law, someone whose still new and to get to know more, helpful and supportive. But her relationship with her brother is her life and just different.
You should understand this: Only you can choose to let yourself feel bad. She cannot do it. And you cannot expect for her to hide a part of her life forever to make you happy. You have to roll with the punches and work on strenghtening this new relationship. And who knows, with time, things can and most probably will change. This scrapbook is only a representation of her life right now. Keep on loving her and don't let a few words hurt you. Remember sticks ans stones.......
2006-07-22 17:18:37 · answer #3 · answered by NVgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're feeling unappreciated, because you're trying so hard to be a good sister. Still, people can love a lot of people. Feeling closer to some because of shared memories isn't odd, it doesn't reflect on how she feels about you.
My favorite person is my best friend, but I love my husband a lot more. I just share more with her on a female level. Don't let it get you down.
Call her up with a problem. Ask her for help. If she's there for you that is what matters.
2006-07-22 17:12:14 · answer #4 · answered by MEL T 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically, u should do stuff without expecting anything in return. In this case u expect her love in return. If u really do stuff out of the goodness of ur heart, that itself should be enough to make u happy. Besides, u did say that she has reason to like her bro, coz she's known him for longer. But I really doubt she wud enter that in her scrapbook jus to spite u. It must've been what she really felt. Don't take it to heart! Good Luck!
2006-07-22 17:13:52 · answer #5 · answered by DichloroDiphenyl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand wanting to be her fav person, but if her brother has been in her life longer, I'm sure he's done alot to make her feel loved too. I'm certain she didn't put that in her scrapbook to hurt your feelings. To avoid feeling like this in the future, try to be happy for other people that they have other people that love them too. Know that you are someones fav person, and focus on all the positive, happy things in your life.
2006-07-22 17:10:48 · answer #6 · answered by Peach Tree 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a favorite and being cared about are two different things. Yeah, she might say that about him, but when it comes down to it, she may feel CLOSER to you. Either way, she obviously felt comfortable enough with the relationship she has with you to put that about the brother without thinking you'd be upset. Maybe you should re-evaluate your thoughts on this...
2006-07-22 17:10:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i thought scrapbooking was kind of like journaling. you put things in there that are significant to you at that time of your life. i dont think she put it there to hurt you. she probably had no idea. i think you really are being a little sensitive but if you really are hurt, talk to her. you cant have a strong relationship if you arent willing to tell her things that she does that hurt you. she needs to know.
2006-07-22 17:12:10 · answer #8 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get away from family
they are better when they are like 1000 miles away from you
go have a good life where you can pick your friends
if this is the biggest thing you have to worry about you are VERY lucky! It is not a big deal.
it is stupid that she put her brother as her favorite person...how lame is that? you guys need to have friends outside your family
2006-07-22 17:12:14 · answer #9 · answered by brainiac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore it and put it behind you , you are a special person too , otherwise you wouldn't be allowed to help her with her scrapbook
2006-07-22 17:12:12 · answer #10 · answered by robinhoodcb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww, that really sucks! I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you, even though it did. I don't think it was rude but i do think it was kind of inconsiderate to show it to you. Try not to take it personally.
2006-07-22 17:11:31 · answer #11 · answered by b4by_1n_4_bl3ndr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋